I am 23 years old first marriage one year this october, 3 unruly step kids and one child of my own from previous relationship, pregnant with my first son but husband and I agreed adoption. I always wanted a son of my own, I have a 2 year old daughter. Adoption is the better option at this point in our life at the moment. Going through all the adoption process and having 4 other kids and married almost a year my husband and I have drifed apart it seems. We are together in same house raising our kids together as a family, but I miss the connection, its almost like we're roomates kind of. I'm afraid that whatever I say he will misinterpret and make it into a agrument. We do love one another, but neither of us open up to the other as easily as we once did. How would I open the gates of communication again before our marriage falls apart for good?
2007-09-13 13:13:30 · 8 answers · asked by pchristine84 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
so, you're pg and you're planning on putting it up for adoption? i can't tell you what to do but i have to say, if you think you're having problems now, just wait. you said you've always wanted a boy. do you feel obligated to give up the baby to pacify your husband or is this really what YOU want to do?will there be hard feelings once it's done? that said, i suggest trying to get to know one another again. even if it's just 1/2 hr to talk or snuggle after the kids are in bed. you've entered into a ready made family, it's no wonder you've drifted apart. give it some time and really make the effort to get things back on track. who know's, maybe he's thinking the same things and doesn't know what to do either
2007-09-13 13:30:55 · answer #1 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa hold your horses! 23, 3 unruly stepkids, 1 of your own and pregnant soon to be adopted baby.
I can see where the drifting has begun. You need to de-clutter your life somewhat and to give up a baby son that you've always wanted, honey it will break your heart.
Your husband is very unreasonable to make you take on his 3 kids and expect you to adopt your baby out.
You need to send the kids somewhere for the weekend and really sit down and talk to your husband about this. Yes there are going to be tears and plenty of them but if you don't get it out now your marriage is going to drift to the Divorce Courts.
2007-09-13 20:23:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you sound pretty young you have been married for 1 year and had one child before you married three unruly step children. your pregnant with your first son you think adoption is better option for you at this point in your life, you and your husband have drifted apart because he cant have his cake and eat it to, meaning that he doesn't want to have any kids by you don't you get it. you and him don't talk anymore so i guess that you are living like roommates now,
it sounds like this was a marriage for convience not built on love. Too young to understand.
best of luck
2007-09-13 21:04:28 · answer #3 · answered by mmurray001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go back to the beginning and keep it interesting. What did you do/talk about in the beginning? Sometimes you have to go back to move forward. Hard to do with 4 kids, but if the love is there you will find a way. Might start out by saying "I miss you and the way we used to talk" or something like that. What do you mean by adoption...do you want to adopt or do you want to adopt the child out you are currently pregnant with? Kind of confusing there. You have "his" and "yours" but not a child together...maybe having one together will pull you back together. But the bottom line is find a common ground...something lighthearted or that you both can laugh about and start a conversation...then tell him you miss this in your relationship and see what happens.
2007-09-13 20:31:37 · answer #4 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be a couple every now and then and not just parents.
Is there somewhere the kids could go, even just for a couple of hours?
Go to the movies or something together.
Its that or all of you go to the park, the kids will be to busy playing and that will give you and hubby some time to sit and chat.
There is always a way to make time for eachother, you just have to want it and make it work!
If it means staying up till midnight then so be it!
Good Luck
2007-09-13 20:21:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move out of that single wide and move on over to the double wide.
2007-09-13 20:20:30 · answer #6 · answered by Becky J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if there is a way for you guys to be alone for a romantic evening away from the kids, then you can talk about it. good luck
2007-09-13 20:25:03 · answer #7 · answered by KT 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you just do it.
excuse the gimmick, but that's what you need to do. if the gates aren't open, open them. you can just start being like you once were and sooner or later, he'll follow.
blessings to you and your future
2007-09-13 20:24:16 · answer #8 · answered by bishop 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋