Seems like living a lie up until your mid-life crisis is living a lie, don't you think. Check out this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Late-Bloomers-Awakening-Lesbianism-After/dp/0595162274/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/102-9481812-6670552?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1189722512&sr=8-2
2007-09-13 11:30:28 · 9 answers · asked by Fletcher t 2 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
I think a more appropriate verb would be "accept" not "realize." Most late bloomers will say they have known all along. They repressed that part of themselves until now. It's called internal homophobia.
2007-09-13 12:30:13 · answer #1 · answered by bikerchickjill 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
She probably always knew, but because of the stigma, the hate, the ridicule, the isolation, the possible violence against her if she 'came out', the possibility she could lose her job, lose her friends, lose her children if she has any, and be disowned by her family probably kept her from being herself and she just lived the life that everyone she knew expected of her. Maybe now she has finally realized that SHE needs to be happy and be herself because she has let her life of 40 years pass her by to make everyone else happy and 'keep the peace' for everyone else.
I hope the woman you are talking about can find a good support system, find the love she always needed, and exhale a sigh of relief that the weight of making everyone else happy has been lifted off her shoulders and she has found her own peace.
2007-09-13 18:56:54 · answer #2 · answered by Sierra ☼ Sky 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Women tend to be a lot more fluid about their sexual orientation than men, who tend to be more hard-wired. If you look at a good sample of self-proclaimed lesbians, you find that many of them have a long series of failed relationships with men before they "became" lesbian. Obviously, the psychological dynamic going on here is eventually these women actually wised up and went out and found someone who would know how to please a woman ... another woman! Imagine that!
2007-09-13 19:16:14 · answer #3 · answered by Theodore H 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think this is a great question that I cannot fully answer. I think a lot of it has to do with fear or how they will be treated by society. But I am sure there is more to it as well.
Regardless, it SHOULD be looked into. It would save people a lot of time hiding things and hurting others, and allow them to be themselves if we could help solve this problem. But we cannot solve a problem, if we do not know the basis of it.
Remaining blind is plain ignorance itssocial. With a name like that I would think you of all people would want to help these people.
2007-09-13 18:55:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sexuality is fluid in both men and women.
Or, she may have been so busy conforming to society's expectations that she denied her true feelings for a long time.
Life is a journey of constant self-discovery. Is a discovery made at mid-life any less valid than a discovery made in youth?
2007-09-13 19:00:20 · answer #5 · answered by not yet 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
No. She wasn't living a lie. How could that be a lie? According to the ending part of your question, "after a woman is 40 to realize she is a lesbian?" Anything before realization is truthful and not a lie.
2007-09-13 18:53:30 · answer #6 · answered by Smahteepanties 4 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Some people try so hard to act the way they think they are supposed to they don't take the time to analyze themselves and find out who they really are, perhaps this is the case here??
2007-09-13 19:07:58 · answer #7 · answered by Cassthinking 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Walk a mile in her shoes before you decide she is living a lie. Why do gay men marry and have kids before they decide they are gay?
2007-09-13 18:38:01 · answer #8 · answered by Aloha_Ann 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
i am not going to check out the book. who are you to judge.
2007-09-13 18:35:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋