If a child is sexually touched by an older cousin (a girl) at age 7, will it still be considered sexual abuse?

Question

I think that I may be a victim of such an act, and I feel that in some way it has affected my relationship with my fiancee.

this is to "Willi Wom Bat"...I did not "explore" she did all the "exploring", at seven I didn't even know what she was doing to me.

I was 7, she was 13 at the time she began doing this to me...I didn't know any better at the time, but now that I think about it, it bothers me...because she only did this when she knew that there was no one there, for example, when she was babysitting me.

Answer 1

Yes, it is. And although what you are feeling is painful it is indeed normal and you are not alone.

What is Sexual Abuse?
Sexual Abuse is any sexually related behavior between two or more people where there is an imbalance of power. This can include adult-child, older child-younger child, adolescent-younger person, or any situation where the other person is forced to participate. It is sexually abusive when the victim is unaware of the abuse (such as being watched while bathing, using the bathroom, changing, etc.), as well as when the victim is sleeping, unconscious, under the influence of alcohol or drugs, or is too young, naïve, or able to understand what is going on.
Sexual abuse is a misuse or abuse of power and control. It may be accomplished through force, deception, bribery, blackmail, or any other means that gives one party an upper hand.
The behaviors may range from peeping, exposing genitals, fondling, oral/anal/vaginal sex, showing or taking pornographic pictures of a child, or any sexual behavior that is not consensual.

What is Consent?
Consent is when a partner freely agrees to do something. This person must understand what the behavior is all about without being tricked or confused. The partner must know what is acceptable in the culture, family and peer group and must also be aware of the possible consequences for him/herself and others, as well as alternatives to the behavior. It has to be OK to say no with no worries about negative consequences. Partner must be mentally competent (of equal intelligence and not under the influence of alcohol or drugs).
Legally, there is no such thing as consent for children if the other person is more than four years older. That means the older person cannot excuse his/her behavior by saying the child agreed to it. Many people on probation for sexual offenses are in their 20s and had sex with a 14 or 15 year old they considered a girlfriend. The fact that there may have been a relationship and the girl may have agreed to be sexual does not change the legal definition of this as (statutory) rape.

Healthy, equal relationships almost always involve consent.

Now, chances are this is affecting you, but you can recover. www.rainn.org can help but a therapist is the best route when you are ready. Many folks don't know how to go about finding the best therapist so this article can help (its geared toward male survivors but the main points still apply.

http://www.malesurvivor.org/ArchivedPages/singer1.html

Good luck! You can do it.

Answer 2

Technically, yes. Legally, yes.

I am guessing you are already an adult so this must have happened many years ago. It would be impossible to prove anything at all.

But, if you suspect you might have been victimized or have a problem related or unrelated to it, there is no reason why you shouldn't seek help.

You might want to consult with a psychologist or a counselor and work it out. The least you should do is get help, so you can be fine from this point forward. You can't change what happened in the past.

Answer 3

Well because this girl was only 7 at the time I would suspect she did not know what she was doing or maybe she was the victim of sexual assault and was just acting out what happened to her. Is it possible to ask this cousin what the heck was going on when she touched you sexually. It might just have been innocence though but ask so you know for sure.

Answer 4

If any child is touched sexually by an adult or another child it to me is sexual abuse.Parents need to make their children aware and sometimes kids try to experiment. try to talk to the child's parents and see what is going on first and see what happened and why and how much the children actually know about sexual conduct. If they know it may be worse then I would be alarmed and report it and if the kids are not aware then they need to be now before anything else happens. It has to be your judgement because if you don't protect your child and you knew about it you could be at risk to losing your child if you don't handle it appropriately. Forget the fiance you canget another once but a child cannot be replaced and should come first and be protected.

Answer 5

I can relate...I was in the same position as you were at age 5 by my own cousin who was 17 at the time...let me tell ya, that still haunts me N im 24 right now...i can't speak to him at family functions...i dont even want to say his name or look at him...it took me 14yrs to tell one person N having that all bottled up was eating me up inside N not being able to tell someone, be/c i was afraid of what people would say about me!!!

It is sexual abuse, wheather anyone wants to deny it...IT IS!!!

of course you wouldn't know...you may have been taught right from wrong, but you were to young to even know what the body parts were, BUT your cousin did...she was old enough to know all of that N knew that the only time she could do it...was when no ones around...if she knew that, then she knew that it was WRONG!!!! if she didn't know, then she would've done in front of people

Answer 6

Yes. You were sexually abused.

Confront the cousin in the presence of others and warn all the parents of your other little girl relatives, even if every one in your family doesn't believe you the truth MUST be said.

Find a counselor who can help you with this.

Answer 7

Yes, if it's inappropriate touching of any kind. That will surely leave an impact on your emotions today. I would recommend talking to a counselor, or someone that can help you deal with what happened in the past.

Answer 8

Yes, it is sexual abuse. Yes, it is affecting your relationship with your husband. One never forgets that abuse as it haunts you even after you deal with it. Your younger years often shape your older ones. You should explain the abuse to your husband; and if it still affects your marriage, you might want to seek out professional help.

Answer 9

I'd think so yes...anyone who sexually touches a young child is sexually abusing them. Why wouldn't it be considered sexual abuse? The 7 yr old is too young to be able to give consent.

Answer 10

i don't think so. your cousin at that time was also a child (minor) it would be hard to fight that in a case.

at the age of 7 you are still a child. you can't hold someone responsible for what a child has done, other than the parents.
but even then that would be hard, because it's family, and mainly hard to prove.

If your looking in your past to see if you have "unresolved" problems, i don't think that would be one of them.

sorry wasn't much help.

good luck.

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