We split up 4 months ago because i asked for commitment. he told me he had to let me go to find another love as he didn't feel it in his heart. I lied and told him i was over hm last week and how would he fancy sex. i just wanted to be close to him. I've slept with him 3 times and each time i know he only wants sex. He does cook for me still and ask about my life, we go for walks and he tells me he wants me to be in love and be happy. Do you think he loves me or he has definitely fallen out of love???
2007-09-13 09:45:13 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why would he lie? By breaking up with you, he risked not ever having sex with you again, a huge disincentive. He could have strung you along for a very long time. Instead, he acted like a responsible man -- he told you he did not want commitment and set you free to find it elsewhere. When you asked him for sex, with no commitment, of course he said yes. He will probably continue to have sex with you as often as you want until one of you finds someone to get serious with. So if you enjoy the sex, keep on doing what you're doing. But don't delude yourself that he could love you and commit to you!
2007-09-13 09:52:18 · answer #1 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really think is just wants sex out of you. A word of advice, do not continue to give him sex, that's was the reason you guys split to begin with. You need to move on so you can find someone that will love you and care for you. You deserve it. Don't waste your time with him, he doesn't love you. I'm sorry if I sound cruel to you, but I wouldn't tell you a lie just to make you feel better.
2007-09-13 14:45:31 · answer #2 · answered by Ricardo R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he still cares about you a lot , but just doesn't want to hurt you. Or maybe he does love you, but isn't ready for a commitment yet. Give it some time and think about it before you continue to sleep with him because it will just keep hurting you to stay attached.
Trust me I know how you feel only i didn't sleep with my ex, but i called him all the time talking to him when i had a problem just so i could stay close to him, but being close to him could also hurt you..thats what i figured out........ now i have moved
on and i have a new bf and i am very happy!!!
I want the same for you
plz keep what i said in mind and do what you feel is best...
I hope everything works out
2007-09-13 09:55:08 · answer #3 · answered by *Oreo* 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I was in a situation like this not too long ago. I would do relationship type things with my ex because i felt very comfortable with her. I think if he wanted to be with you he would be with you. He probably likes you a lot has a great deal of love for you but ultimately he doesnt see a future with you.
You should have a serious talk with him and ask him how does he want this to go. Give him an ultimatum thats the only way.
2007-09-13 09:53:55 · answer #4 · answered by orod510 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can love a doormat, when are you gonna realise this. He told you already he does not want a commitment and yet you still sleep with him because you want to be close to him? Then you might as well and accept to just be his booty call, cause that is all you are settling for. Trust me, the guy does not love you, he feels guilty for using you and therefore says things like, he wants you to be in love and happy. His private thoughts are most likely "My God, this girl has no self respect, is she dumb or what, I told her I do not want a commitment and she keeps coming back for left over scraps". And he probably shares these thoughts about you with his friends. Sorry, but someone has got to stand up and be angry for "YOU", you certainly do not care enough for yourself to allow a guy to use you like this. You need a wake up call.
2007-09-13 10:05:05 · answer #5 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had casual sex with a man that I dated for a long time. I know that deep down I still had feelings for him but I was unsure about him. In the end I ended up feeling more hurt and he had really fallen out of love with me. In the end sometimes it is better to just make a clean break. If he does still have feelings for you maybe you should let him persue you.
2007-09-13 10:04:12 · answer #6 · answered by Brown eyed girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think this guy ever loved you and has been perfectly honest with you all along. Now it is up to you to find some respect for yourself. Stay away from him! How about giving sex with anyone a break and try to find out what it is you are needing. Sex is a powerful addiction and can be hard to break. Counselling might help you a bit. Good luck!
2007-09-13 09:53:00 · answer #7 · answered by curiouscanadian 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first
when u break up u need friends (neutral ones who have no love interest in u ) to be wid u to actually protect u from just finding another set of arms where u feel safe n relax and nurse ur wounds from the previous breakup///
now those new set of arms may not always be the bst choice... so neutral friends help n divert ur mind.
second since u have premarital sex... i guess the basis for ur relation is good love making...
besides now since u are back in bed with ur ex well i guess its harmless.. n now that ur not together u notice all his good stuff...
another thing.. umm hes being realllllllllllllllllllllllllll nice helping u get out of this .. and still being wid u.. and making u move on.. by satisfying ur sexual needs umm hes actually protecting u coz he doesnt want ne wrong guy to bed u... he cares for u.. coz the other guy may only want to have sex... and not love u ne ways
for ur ex umm he may not love u any more..
its actually u who still has feelings for him and by sleeping with him unconditionally ur clinging on to him that may well be why he left u... in the first place altogether...
important thing is u are only gonna hurt urself more once he finds a more permanent love interest
do him a bit more if it makes u happy but get independent ... ask ur Girl friends for help n explain whats happening only the nice ones mind u not the bitchy types theyll make a laughing stock out of u
and explain this to ur ex too that lets not sleep together
but u need his support n presence to help her forget him n move on...
he seems nice till now hes been there he'd be further ..
and maybe u showing independence will umm ake him probably come back to u..
2007-09-13 10:05:41 · answer #8 · answered by SMY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to be blunt but you allowed him to be your F*uck friend.
A friend with benefits. If he is your ex you should have moved on with your life. Its sounds like you have strong emotions for him and he doesn't have those emotions for you. The more you have sex with him the harder it will be for you to move on.
You guys had sex, he cooks for you, he asks about your life, and you guys go for walks. well those things are things that you do in a relationship. The good part is he respects you in the morning. the bad part seems like he is using you for sex.
The more you let him in, the more he'll take advantage. so-o before you start anything with him, make sure you know what your getting into, and most of all make absolutely sure you know where he stands in your situation. Best bet is to move on and find someone that will love you for you, instead of having someone coming over to bump uglies because you let them. You deserve better. It sounds like he's using you right now.
Good luck.
=oP
2007-09-13 09:56:38 · answer #9 · answered by Lilkryptonite 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he cares about you, and wants to play an active roll in your life. so your answer is there. he loves you, but not the type that you want in return. We as men know when the relationship is over and what we expect to happen. he is just using you as a tool, to satisfy without any commitments. No strings attached just a friend with benefits. I bet if you remain to be cool and dont have sex with him. he would loose his mind, and not want to deal with you at all. so be wise and move on, if not you will be forever more a play thing to him.....
I think your better than that.
2007-09-13 09:55:41 · answer #10 · answered by new2nyc27 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋