Like my poems?

Question

ok i already asked this but i didnt' get as many answers as i hoped...so maybe it will be better ok... here's poem #1

have a chance to put them in the newspaper. so tell me which on you like best and if you have any suggestions on names...let me know! thanks!!!

My Twinkling Star:

I lay awake at night,
Thinking about you.

The stars are bright and twinkling,
They remind me of you.

Beautiful, bright and shining,
I see a shape forming in the sky.

Oh wow,
It's you,
Lighting up my life.

Your eyes are the brightest stars in the universe.
They hold a lot of knowledge.

I wish i could soar up to your eyes and explore them.

You're unique as a snow-flake,
No one can be like you.

We're a world apart,
And yet I feel like you're right next to me.

Now you're a shooting star.

I'm going to make a wish,

On you,

Will it come true??

(the end)

ok and here's poem #2

here's the second one.

Save Me:

The night is silent, but my thoughts are not.

They are racing and bubbling with excitment.

I can't sleep, can't clear my mind.

Bad thoughts keep pounding all through out my head.

I want them to cease existence.

I've tried digging my way out, but as soon as i see light- darkness rushes in, destroying my happiness.

I try to seek happiness in family and friends.

It works for a short period of time.

But once I'm alone...they come back, black as crows and just as scary.

It feels like being stuck in quick sand, sinking deeper and deeper till it's over my head, suffocating me.

I'm trapped in my own body, thoughts, and mind.

I need a savior to rescue me from myself, to help me stop the pain and suffering.

Please help me before something bad happens.

Lend a hand, hug anything to keep the bad thoughts away from me.

(the end)

this poem was writen for my friend. this is how she feels not me.

if you gys like them star it please!!!! cheers! and thanks! =D

Answer 1

koooooooool, did u compose it?????????


send more of it and get stars

Answer 2

I love both of the poems! They are so tender. I wish I was a newspaper publisher, but I'm not.. =( Otherwise I'd add your poems! I love both of them, but if I had to choose I'd go with the first one, but both are devine! Keep it up! ☺

Answer 3

They are very nice. I think as you write and read more, your vocabulary will expand and you will be surprised how much more depth you will be able to put into your writing. Great start! Good luck!

Answer 4

I liked the second one better. But they both need work.

You are off to a good start, keep working.

Answer 5

I like the 1st one. Second one is ok. Just don't like the bubbling with excitement part.

Answer 6

i would go for the first one i liked it better
keep up the good work

Answer 7

Yes, they are nice poems.

Answer 8

nice

Answer 9

I like them!!! keep up the great work!!!...=-)

Answer 10

very nice, well -written