Husband left me. Why am I started to see now what a bad of a husband he really was???

Question

My husband cheated and left me back in July for another woman he met online for sex. In the past few weeks, I have been on an emotional rollercoaster and just trying to move forward in my life. Just recently I started realizing that he really was never the best for me. Why couldn't I see it like that before?
We live in the same town and I saw him last weekend sitting at a light, with his boat and new whore in tow. They didn't see me. I think God is punishing me but my friends say that it might of happened that way to HELP me deal with getting past him.
I was a loving, caring, loyal wife so I wonder if he sees the opposite now in me? All the nice things I did, etc. Maybe not now but one day he might when he realizes he may never be lucky enough to find another woman like me again in his life! Doesn't that old saying go "you don't know what you've got till it's gone". Divorce has been filed, no children involved (thank you Lord)

Answer 1

You have had some space and time to reflect. Things always seem to become a little more clear when you've distanced your self from the situation.

Don't spend too much time wondering if he'll suffer later. When it is all said and done the best way to get back at them is to move on and truely be happy. Trust me. I was a wreck at first. Here we are a couple years later and she has asked me several times to try again. ;-) Work on yourself and everything else will fall into place.

Answer 2

No, he will never realize what he left behind. He's not capable. He didn't just suddenly become a liar and a cheat. His character flaws have always been there, but my guess is that the either hid them very well or you ignored them.

God does not punish women for loving. However you now know the truth and you need to learn from the experience. Do not become bitter and not open your heart again, but when you do the next time, ask a few more questions. Way before you get involved, watch what he does and how he does it. If his life is an open book, then you have a keeper. Good luck and thank your lucky stars that you are free of him. You deserve better than that, and maybe God is rewarding you by allowing you the freedom to find a real man.

Answer 3

I think when you love someone and when you are desperate to make things work, you tend to ignore and over look lots of things you shouldn't. It is like the old saying: You can't see the Forrest for the trees. When you get some time and distance from something, sometimes it becomes clearer.
One day he probably will realize what he lost but you can't be worried about that. Move on with your life: be happy, successful and have a great life. It is the best revenge!

Answer 4

This reminds me of another story about my parents friends. The husband not only cheated on his wife ( the fact that he also beat her) but he left her for a younger woman. This is an older Italian man ( close to his 60s) and the younger woman was in her low 20s.
Long story short she basically used him for money, he didnt have much money as it is ( except for his kids college fund). He took her on vacation, bought her clothes, paid for HER college, and after 2 years she dumped him, just like that.

Like i said, this is your typical Italian man who CANNOT live without a woman to clean and take care of him. He has been begging, and i mean seriously begging for his wife to come back. The kids, who are pretty close to 30 now refuse to talk to him and his ex wife just laughs in his face.

I believe in karma, and that is exactly what happened to him. So stay strong and go out there be somebody. Then when he really sees what you got just laugh right back in his face!

Answer 5

I was in the same situation a year and a bit ago.
Honestly one of the est things ever was getting out of there Finally I can be myself again and in the process I got together with the man of my life. I have never been happier in my life

The only thing that keeps going through my head is: why did I stay sooooooooo long with that horrible horrible man

Answer 6

when i was separated from my husband i too saw the other woman at first it devastated me and i cried but it took that to motivate me into divorcing him and moving on in life. had i not seen it with my own eyes i may still have been waiting for him to return, because love is blind, we often don't see the truth, we don't want to because we love them and don't want to seek a new future. but i thank god i saw them, and could finally put it all together why we were separated. until than i blamed myself, had no idea it was all about another woman in my marriage. god did not punish u he was showing u what was true so that u would face reality.

Answer 7

Our hindsight always seems to be much better than any. Once you were away from him you could really think about the person that he was...not the person you wanted him to be.
When we're involved in a situation it's always hard to see past what we want. That's why it seems that everyone else knows before we do...we see what we want to see. We love this person so we accept their faults and move on. Everyone else sees what a s*** they really are. Once we are removed from the situation then we can look back on it and realize how blinded we really were.
Don't worry...he'll do the same to her.

Answer 8

It just takes being alone and realizing your value to finally know that the person you thought loved and cared for you was not valuing you for what you are worth.

And don't worry, I am sure it will take the ho not long to realize what a troll she picked up LOL!

Hang in there honey, I was SO where you are at although my breakup was a year ago and I have finally moved on and can enjoy myself and enjoy being with a guy that treats me very nice :)

Answer 9

You should accept what God has delivered you from. You have been delivered from hell on earth..........a cheating husband that has the balls to flaunt his whore around like he's done nothing wrong.......YOU HAVE BEEN DELIVERED!

You need to align your life w/Christ, and believe that your Heavenly Father has pre-destined greater things for your life. In some marriages infidelity just can't be over looked or forgiven. Cheating does something to the mind that sometimes makes it impossible to love and trust THAT person again, but Christ can heal you, and make you whole, and fill your life w/plenty of joy and happiness that has nothing to do with your ex-a**whole of a husband.

SEEK JESUS CHRIST.....

Answer 10

i know my answer probably wont make sence, but maby when he was still home you were trying to mentally ignore the bad qualities about him. thought that maby if you kept being the loving caring wife, he would change his ways. and now that he is gone, you are realizing that even tho you loved him, cared for him, and was loyal to him, that it was not changing him for the better. he was not seeing he had a good wife at home. love was blind. for him, love was other places. let him finally see what a good devoted wife he left behind. but do not take him back. oh he will have all kinds of promises. but oh well. maby his life wil be one inter net fling after another. best of luck to you.