it always hits me how people answer or the outlook on morals. a lot here say stripclubs and even lapdances are ok, but then they are ? about going to dinner with the other sex while you are married and its a big no no. that was just a example. i see many things here that make me wonder. whats up with all these double standards? has anyone else noticed?
2007-09-13 08:50:13 · 16 answers · asked by not this way 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
this isnt about men and women having different rights, its simply about answers people give. and i said that stripclubs and dinner was just an example.
2007-09-13 09:20:12 · update #1
nope, just you...
people change their minds depending on their point of view on the day... :D
2007-09-13 08:53:36 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It is all relative to the situations.
Strip clubs are ok, the dancers whether men or women are paid to entertain the customers. Not screw them. In most cases there is no sex of any kind. There are always exceptions of course. Strip clubs are also something I know a couple can have a great time doing together. Stepping into the backroom for some oral sex is not acceptable unless your spouse is the one standing there saying give me a show.
Dinner with someone of the opposite sex is also fine. But there are lines you don't cross. Like having dinner with the opposite sex while your spouse is out of town and has no clue you were going to go do this. It creates a lot of trust issues.
I don't think these are double standards. To me that would be saying the husband can go to the strip club but the wife can't. Or the wife can go have dinner with a male friend but the husband isn't allowed to do the same.
2007-09-13 15:54:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you have the same person giving both answers then there's a double standard. It sounds to me like your saying people here in general and that's just dependant on who sees what questions as ones they want to answer.
I don't think very many individuals would answer those two questions that way.
As far as the ‘this is Ok and that is not’ part, there are no absolutes. What is OK or not in a relationship depends entirely on the couple and where they are in their relationship.
For example, it wasn't always so, but these days I have a great love and appreciation for my wife, and a very strong trust in her love, and I've also realized that youth and life are short lived and slipping away from both of us at an alarming rate. When you reach that point you realize that a lot of things that you thought were so important, like petty jealousy’s and selfish insecurities really don't matter at all. I mean seriously, when we're on our death beds do you think, to use your examples, some stupid male stripper or dinner with another man will matter at all? No they won't, not even a little bit. But remembering her happy lifetime of laughter and smiles, of adventures and misadventures and all the times we laughed saying "That was great" or "OMG I can't believe I did that!" and knowing that I shared those times with her and or helped her to have them. That will matter. That will matter a lot. So as far as I'm concerned, what's OK is whatever she wants to do so long as there's no permanent harm and what's not OK is whatever makes her unhappy. My sweetie unhappy is absolutely not OK.
OK?
2007-09-13 16:35:53 · answer #3 · answered by Duck! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful,,,double standards work both ways,, I think the secret is to try to minimze the end result of a double standard. Assuming a man is married, lap dances are not o.k., unless done to the man by his wife....Going to dinner on the other hand is something quite different depending on the reason. Business, or old friend where there was never any sexual ties between them seems o.k. to me. It sounds as if you do not trust your husband, you probably have your reasons, but why put yourself through stress about it unless you know for sure that he is cheating or wants to cheat ????
2007-09-13 16:02:43 · answer #4 · answered by Lee B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a lot depends on whether you are sneaking out to dinner with someone vs. the strip club or lapdance. Usually the spouse knows that going to a strip club is not going to lead to anything - since the chances of getting any from one of those girls is remote. But dinner with someone can and often does lead to other things. But you are definitely right about double standards. A lot of people are upset about other people doing bad things - when they are doing things that are just as bad.
2007-09-13 16:02:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I bet the same people who say it's not ok for their spouse to go to lunch with someone of the opposite sex also think that it's not ok for lapdances and strip clubs.
It's not really a double standard when there's a million people answering and asking these questions.
2007-09-13 15:58:04 · answer #6 · answered by ron-D 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
their should be no double standers I don't know how going to a strip club and getting a lap dance form a naked chick is better than going to lunch with the opposite sex when at least they are fully clothed. that is messed up I think the strip club is very wrong and going to lunch if its for work who cares unless its a person your spouse cheated with or something its sad how many people don't really have any morals
2007-09-13 15:56:10 · answer #7 · answered by nikie_atkinson 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What double standards? You haven't mentioned a double standard.
Going to strip clubs is not a big deal, for either sex. Going out to dinner with the opposite sex while you are married is a big deal, for either sex. So, I don't know what you think is the double standard. Do you think it's o.k. for men to go to strip joints but not women? Do you think it's ok for women to go out to dinner but not men?
There are some real double standards. Like most women think if a guy asks them out, the guy should pay, yet most women think if they ask a guy out the guy should "at least pay half" and if he's a gentleman he will pay. That's a double standard.
2007-09-13 16:09:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I understand what you're saying, but you have to remember everyone is different and what's okay for one person may not be for another. It's all has to do with how much each person trust's their spouse, or how little they care what their spouse does. I know women who could care less if their husband goes to a strip club, but go to lunch with another women and look out. So I know exactly what you mean.
2007-09-14 15:25:46 · answer #9 · answered by Shel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Double standards? When you get a hundred thousand different users answering hundreds of thousand different questions how do you come up with a double standard?
Don't let the selected few speak for the whole lot of us.
2007-09-13 16:03:41 · answer #10 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People will justify any situation if it benefits them. I wouldn't appreciate my husband going to a strip club and especially getting lap dances...as he wouldn't appreciate me getting lap dances from male dancers at a strip club. Lots of people have double standards...my husband works with a bunch of morons who look to score on a night out with the guys....but if their wives were to behave in the same manner...there would be hell to pay.
2007-09-13 16:02:08 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋