leaving. im so scared but i know i need to do it. what has helped everyone who leaves a husband? he doesnt treat me very good and has cheating on me and lied like crazy about anything you can think of. how much does it cost? we have a little girl also. i just cant trust him anymore and im so unhappy.
2007-09-13 07:55:58 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You only get one shot at life and you cannot go through it so unhappy. Even though I imagine it will be hard by yourself with your little girl you sound very sure about leaving him and I think you have already made up your mind - you just want confirmation from all of us....
Well, I for one, say go for it.......
2007-09-13 08:03:56 · answer #1 · answered by Finance Expert 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear this. It depends on if you are divorcing then where you live, and if you and your soon to be ex-husband can agree on what you two want in the divorce. You may be able to even file it yourself with the court system in your state, but it's a lot less expensive if you two agree on who gets what/and custody & visitation, child support issues. The filing fee where I live is about $100-$200, and If you two can't come to an agreement while talking to an attorney, the actual attorney's fees cost much more if you don't agree on the above things. It also matters if he agrees that you should get a divorce, which makes this whole process easier, and is called uncontested. What helps is knowing you will have peace of mind and keep thinking how he treats you,if you start to feel lonely or regret this decision, then think of that because you deserve to be treated much better than this, never look back when you know in your heart that you are doing what is right. Good Luck.
2007-09-13 15:07:00 · answer #2 · answered by starchild4485 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It took me almost 12 years to leave my husband. The last straw was when I found out he was starting a "photography" business, and taking pictures of nasty skanks. You have to think about your little girl and what it's doing to her to see you unhappy. She has to come first. And what kind of example is he setting, treating you bad and cheating on you? As far as cost, you will have to get your own place to live, or live with family for a while to save some money. Good luck.
PS: Do NOT get a "legal separation"--they are very expensive (at least $600) and it's nothing but a piece of paper saying you're separated. To show you've been separated before a divorce, all you need to do is show them a lease agreement for an apartment when you go file for divorce.
2007-09-13 15:07:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are filing fees which I am sure varies by state. You need to go to the court house in your town and get the paperwork and file. If your husband is a jerk and will contest the divorce and custody arrangements, then don't go pro se (without a lawyer) get yourself a lawyer. The most important thing is to have you and your daughter some place safe until its decided if you get the house or if he does. You should stay with family or get an apartment. Also, I think there is a 6 month waiting the period that the court will make you go through. Just to make sure that your differences are irreconcilable. Good luck to you, take care.
2007-09-13 15:06:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont think about him. You have got to worry about you and what you want and need out of life. I can guarentee it's not some jerk poor excuse for a husband. I would leave his a** and not look back. As far as getting a divorce and costs, I'm not sure. Depends on where you live. In Indiana/Kentucky it costs about $800.00.
Dont worry about getting a divorce now, Just get out. You dont deserve to be treated that way.
Plus think about your little girl, She needs a good life and family. You can provide that without him. Make the most out of life for you and your daughter. I wish you happiness and the best of luck
2007-09-13 15:10:55 · answer #5 · answered by brandy G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am now on my 2nd marriage, to a wonderful hubby!
The reason I left my first one, is :
In life you have a responsibility as a parent/spouse to take care of each other or your family, whether its financially, emotionally or sexually.
My ex would get a job, then quit cause he got aggrivated, or fired and complained about being away from his family. Partly understood, but a MAN is suppossed to be a man and do whatever it takes.(Truck Driver, when he worked)
Part of it, I was young-22, and part of it was I was not taught by my father to sit on your behind, and live off the welfare system. (As he just loved to do, and to this day still IS)
I, being taught by my daddy NOT to be like this, decided that I can take better care of my 2 children on my own.
I got a job-minimum wage, an apartment and all the bills that go with it, and left him, becuase I didn't want that type of image on my children, and my kids and I was off welfare all in 30 days time.
Mine was in California and I went to a paralegal, don't remember the cost, but it was worth every penny to be away from someone who only thinks of himself.
To this day, now happily married to a responsible, loving, provider, friend and hubby, who cares for us, hes shown the chilren what being a true family oriented person is, and do whatever you must to feed, clothe, house and treat your family. The WAY I was taught.
2007-09-13 15:48:37 · answer #6 · answered by THEMrsMinLa&Momof2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Procrastination and fear...not a good mix for you girl! Even in a relationship that is going,or is sour, moving on is a hard thing to do. If the both of you are in agreement that the relationship is unsolvable,then don't be afraid to ask your spouse for moving funds. It's to put another roof over your daughters head. Or If he is moving, out offer to help with his move. It would be a friendly gesture and may keep things from getting to ugly, even though there will be emotions flying.
2007-09-13 15:20:40 · answer #7 · answered by david 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find someone who is willing to take you and your child in for a month or two until you get on your feet. OR save for a month or two, deal with his crap, and then when he leaves for work or something, move out. There are plenty of ways to leave, you just need to make sure you have something set up so that you will be able to stand on your own once you are gone.
2007-09-13 15:04:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
From my personal experience, my mom took me and my sister and left my dad. We don't know for sure if my dad ever cheated physically, but he waas cheating on all of us with drugs. He wasn't supporting his family, he would disapear for days at a time we wouldn't know where he was. It was the hardest thing in the world for my mom to do. We stayed at a hotel for a couple of days afterwards just in case he decided to go looking for. He never laid a hand on my mom or me or my sis. After you leave you will feel guilty for a while, but in reality you have to do what it is right and most healthy for you and your daughter. Good luck.
2007-09-13 15:03:47 · answer #9 · answered by musicgrl42002 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My friends and family helped me most. Find a friend of a relative you can confide in, and ask for help. It's hard to go through it alone; try to find someone to help you - with practical things (like finding a lawyer, filing the paperwork, looking for a place to live) as well as moral support. If you know you're going to leave, start looking for a place to move into. Start packing if you can.
2007-09-13 15:01:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋