My husband treats me very poorly, he is always mad, can be aggressive towards me and the children. Though he puts on a friendly nice guy act around most other people. He blames me for our money problems. It is getter harder and harder to live like this.
2007-09-13 07:54:04 · 13 answers · asked by Kimberly 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Try your best at first to make the marriage work. Go to counseling both seperate and together in marriage counseling. Read self help books. Talk to your husband, tell him how much he means to you but that his current behavior has got to stop. Do everything that you can to help make the marriage is better. After you have attempted this, if he still continues to treat your poorly and acts aggressively in ANY way towards you or your children, then I would file for a divorce. You do not want to live unhappily like this for the rest of your life, and you dont want to end up getting physically hurt, and possibly even your children. Make sure you warned him in advance, but if he does not change, you have every right to ask for a divorce, at least knowing that you tried everything in your power to make it work, and it wouldn't. Hope this helps!
2007-09-13 08:04:54 · answer #1 · answered by Joie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went through this with my husband as well a few years ago.
I finally said to him, once the kids were in bed, "We need to talk"
I basically sat down and told him that I believe he is treating me like....... etc etc.
It makes me feel less of a person, and that I don't feel that he loves me or wants to be a part of our family any more.
Once I sat down, and CALMLY told him how I was feeling, it changed everything... he had no idea (Stupidly enough) that his attitude was affecting us so much.
He was getting stressed out at work because he was in a job he hated, and bringing it all home to unload on me and the kids. A lot of people do this, because your'e the "Safe ones" they can unload on you, because they believe you're not going anywhere.
Once I told him, I'm not willing to live this way, I WILL leave.. he really straightened out a lot.
Men like to play the blame game.. Guys have this perception that they have to FIX things.. and if they can't, then it is someone elses fault. So financial problems that he can't fix... MUST be your fault.
I would try to sit down and talk to him calmly.. don't be attacking or let him get defensive.. if he starts getting defensive or angry, tell him you dont want to argue, you just want to sort things out.
Decide together whether you can work it out yourselves, see a counsellor, or take some time away from each other.
Good luck to you... One last thing to say, if he EVER puts his hands on you, get out of the relationship... There is NEVER a reason for abuse or violence, and it will only get worse. Do not tolerate it if he puts his hands on you.
Good luck, I hope everything works out!
An extra point... People are always quick to jump to say divorce.. but especially with kids that is very hard too... Divorce is not always the answer... try to work things out first.. unless he hits you, then there is no other choice.
2007-09-13 08:05:59 · answer #2 · answered by Mom2Boyzz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are 22?????? And what do you see in this guy? GET OUT NOW. You need serious serious help. Men like this escalate. ALWAYS saying oh im so sorry... won't happen again, but it's all a lie. YOu need to GET OUT NOW. You want the rest of your life to be like this? And worse, when he hits you, makes fun of you, puts you down all the time til you feel like a worm? NEVER be so desperate for a man that you settle for this. You are SO young. It is better to be strong and single and have a life than to be a worm. YOU get OUT NOW. There are battered women's shelters everywhere. Please go, NOW- go talk to them.
2016-05-18 21:56:23 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is irratable because of low testosterone. He needs to see the DR to get his hormones checked. Once exogenous hormone admistration is done his attitude, behavior and irratibility will improve over time for the better. It will be like having an attitude adjustment, but much more lasting.
2007-09-13 08:01:09 · answer #4 · answered by Hitheeeeer! 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I honestly would have to say..it depends on what YOU want. If getting a little couple's therapy would help..then great. If he would only change because "you want him to" then forget it. However, you need to look inside yourself and be sure you WANT things to work out.
We all make mistakes.
We only live once.
I would say it's time to do some soul searching.
Many hugs and good luck to you.
2007-09-13 07:59:10 · answer #5 · answered by Coco 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. Stand up to him when he treats you or the children badly. Refuse to allow him to treat you that way. Hold him accountable for his own mistakes and stop letting him dump on you.
2007-09-13 08:02:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say for better or worse, sometimes you just have to deal with it. Now if he keeps abusing you that is different. Help him through the hard times.
2007-09-17 07:35:45 · answer #7 · answered by happy@50 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are so quick to divorce. Marriage is sacred, he needs to see a councellor, somehow he needs to realize he's a jerk.
2007-09-13 08:11:20 · answer #8 · answered by JR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
could be a couple of things...
*did you put on a ton of wight since he married you?
*do you ever dress to impress for him?
some guys need to have an attractive girl by thier side..... usually cause the guys at work will grill you if you have a horse in the house... the worst is when wifey looks so fat and ugly that they don't even mention it..........
**** the other thing is that he could be pissed cause he has to be home instead of out with his girlfriend...
2007-09-13 08:01:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
DIVORCE or marriage councelling . Do it while you are still young enough and have a future in front of you.
2007-09-13 07:57:22 · answer #10 · answered by jelly tots 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋