We got married after being together for 2 years. We had a great wedding and after 2 months, she pops up to me with she doesnt think she wants to be married. She is 23 and she says she didnt get a chance to experience other stuff before she got married.
2007-09-13 07:19:18 · 61 answers · asked by Lost2008 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is something I very much understand I was 23 when my husband and I got married and he was 35. He already had the chance to do so much before we were together. we were together for 2 1/2 years prior to the wedding and everyone who gave me advise said the exact same thing the first year of marraige is the hardest. I had a lot of resentment because I felt that I had a lot of life that I missd out on too. Since then I stayed with my husband he gave me a lot of freedom and I realized in order for him to do that he must truly love me. I knew he trusted me so I didnt break that trust I went out with friends and after a few tims with freedom I realized that I wanted him to enjoy it with me. If you can give her some space and trust her to have it(if you cant trust her there is no point in it anyway)then let her know you love her and you will let her enjoy the things she may feel she was slighted on. Just be understanding and if she still wants to be apart dont stand in her way. That will just fuel a fire. I have a set of friends who after being married a couple of months got a divorce and now are living together very happy and stress free because it just meant marraige wasnt right for them. I have been marrid for 4 1/2 years and even with the first year being so rough I wouldnt change a thing.
2007-09-13 07:44:03 · answer #1 · answered by cowsywowsy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry about that. Hopefully it is just her being scared and not letting her self settle down and grow up?
My best friend got married at I think 18 and after she was together with her husband for a year or two she thought the same thing. She decided she was young and never got the chance to live on her own and experience everything. I drove 6 hours to pick her and her stuff up and by the time we drove 6 hours back she realized everything she had planned to do on her own was going to be just that- on her own. No husband sharing the fun or watching her back. So the next day I drove her 6 hours back and she realized she had what she wanted all along.
Same thing happened to another friend of mine. I told him I thought she just seemed scared and after separating for a couple weeks she came back.
I do the same thing in relationships, although I have never been married but I'm sure that when I do, I will want to go out and experience life on my own. It is just this panic that comes over us that we are getting into something so big, that maybe this isn't what we want or what we are supposed to do, that maybe we could be happier somewhere else. Then once we separate from what was scaring us we realize we were perfectly fine and there was nothing to be scared of. You have to know that girls are insecure, not only about their looks though, its about everything they do in life.
Hopefully that is it, and if anything happens I wish you the best of luck!
2007-09-13 07:31:48 · answer #2 · answered by tobyman 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
One of the most painful things in life is to love someone & not get that love in return. 23 is pretty young to make a life long commitment, but since you were together for 2 years before marriage, she should have an idea of what it's like to be committed to someone. One valuable lesson to learn in life is that if someone is willing to walk away from you, LET THEM WALK!!!
And what is it that she's wanting to experience? Just because she's married now doesn't mean she's shackled to the bed frame. I'm sure the two of you did things together all the time while you were dating so why should that change now just because you're married?? She may have possibly met someone else and realized she still wants to test the waters.
She sounds a little self-centered to me and any relationship/marriage involves 2 people....not just one! Be strong & realize that you deserve someone that will love you as much as you love them!!!
2007-09-13 08:06:54 · answer #3 · answered by pc36 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm almost 23 (Oct 3 is my birthday) and have been married for almost five years and am trying to have a baby with my husband. We have been on 2 cruises. I have finished a certificate program and am back in college again. I managed to do the party thing while we were first newlyweds. You can experience life to the fullest as a married woman. Basically she probably wants more sexual experience or to date other men is all that I can think.
Some people are just too spoiled! Honestly, you're better off without her.
Telling you this as a woman myself I have observed that women never seem to know what they want. I have seen this among other women and even in myself. One minute she wants to be married and have a guy that'll love her forever the next she doesn't. One minute she wants to wait to have kids - the next she's ready for kids. People have a way of chaning their opinions very quickly. Honestly, I didn't want kids yet but then almost overnight I became overwhelmed with baby fever and haven't been able to shake it. My husband who wanted to wait as well started sharing my feelings about being ready almost immediately after I told him my feelings.
2007-09-13 07:30:48 · answer #4 · answered by Meg 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-15 03:35:13 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many young girls are into the wedding which is 1 day and forget to look at the marriage which is a life time. You need to ask her what is it that she is looking to experience? Is it something you can do together or is it that she has cold feet now. Try to work through it the 1st year is the hardest.
2007-09-13 07:41:17 · answer #6 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she wants out then you have to let her go. She doesn't love you like you deserve to be loved. It's hard to let go of someone you love so much, but be thankfull that she's being honest with you. Kinda late but better now then 10 years from now, right? You will be ok. It may not seem like that now but you will. Never know maybe she'll come back, and if she does I wouldn't take her back right away. I would make her start all over. She took trust away from you. That's a big thing. Maybe she wasn't the one for you. There is someone out there that will love you unconditionally and forever. You'll find that person. Maybe you already have. She just doesn't know it yet.
2007-09-13 07:29:18 · answer #7 · answered by ilovelucy1207 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her what she didn't get a chance to experience, and then help her go for it. Getting married doesn't mean you're dead -- you can experience things after marriage. Here are just a few things I have experienced since getting married:
vacationed in Vegas
earned a master's degree
bought our first house
took a Caribbean cruise
births of our children
had a threesome with another woman
toured Washington DC
changed careers twice
had sex in Epcot's Japanese pavilion
. . . and much, much more. Find out what she wants and help her out!
2007-09-13 07:32:10 · answer #8 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I guess it can happen I'm 23 and I've been married for a year there are rough times I mean when your in your twenties its a really big transitioning time into becoming an "real" adult. My husband works with me on it because our family is so important to us but a lot of people can't do the responsiblity in this more me generational thinking
2007-09-13 07:26:30 · answer #9 · answered by sarah W 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry to hear that. She should of thought of that before you got married. You should of asked her if that's what she really wanted. At least she was being truthful. Hope everything works out for you.
Good luck
2007-09-13 07:30:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋