Help! Separated and paid him off - now he's applying for divorce and wants more!!?

Question

My husband and I seperated amicably 3 years ago. We remained friends and I paid him half of what the profits would have been if we sold the house (which wasnt very much at the time as we had a big mortgage n little equity but was still 5 figures) in return for the house to be transfered over into my solo name. He has paid maintenance regular and we have had no other problems. UNTIL he met a girl (8 months ago) she has made him apply for divorce (we werent bothered about this as none of us want to remarry) and in the divorce settlement he wants half the house! which has gone up in value since i paid him of as i have done a lot of work on the house and obviously paid more off the mortgage and have built up more equity! I realise we should have got divorced straight away then this would not have happened but I didnt think he would ever get so horrible and nasty. He says hes going to get everything he can of me and that he was too nice when we first split! Help!!!

To clarify, we have two children together and we did not go through solicitors so were not legally seperated. The house is in my name only now and all deeds transffered. The money was paid in an online transaction from my account to his and he used the money as a deposit on his new house which he now lives in.

Answer 1

If the house deeds just have your name on them he should not be able to claim cannot claim for half the house. He can however put in for a claim on your income. I hope that when you had a amicable split that you went through a solicitor for the transfer of money. does he have a mortgaged property you could play him back at his own game in the divorce proceedings. However a judge should look at the case and go by what is fair financially for both of you and any children involved. His girlfriend needs politely telling to but out of your financial affairs. Go to citizens advice before taking advice from a solicitor they may offer a cheaper solution for you than legal advice. it sounds like you are both on a equal footing financially. I think he and his girlfriend are living in a fantasy land. Good luck I hope you have a good friend to call on in the future to vent out the frustrations ahead

Answer 2

This is a case that can be settled between the two of you. The court could go either way or settle down the middle. Get the best mediator you can get. Pull all documentation that you have.

Prove that you settled this years ago and that the house has been in your name for the past few years. Does he have a house or has he accumulated anything that you could collect half of? Serve a request for financial documents. Have an accountant review his financials. His tax documents will show you investment income. What you want to do is file some sort of counterclaim for half of his assets and hope that those offset yours. You also go with the claim that this was settled years ago. He will claim that it wasn't, but you will be more credible since you will have a copy of a check written to him. I'm not sure what kind of maintenance he paid. Was it spousal support or homeowner's maintenance? If is was spousal support, those checks will also prove that you agreed on a settlement years ago. However, the law in your state and the cases settled by that law may not be on your side. It may be a hard and fast rule that things are divided right up until the day the divorce is finalized or the date of the divorce filing.

Answer 3

If everything was done online, there should be records of the transactions backing up your assertion that you settled the house issue already. See a lawyer (solicitor) right away so that you can become aware of all the issues involved. The worst thing you did was not get divorced. This keeps everything in co-owner limbo except that you will try to prove that the house title in your name is something you bought from him and paid for completely.
Worst idea ever, staying married as if you will never meet anyone and want to settle down with them. You could have seen that coming a mile away!

Answer 4

I am not a lawyer but I will take a shot in the dark at this...I am guessing you wanted to stay clear of the legal battle and knew that at the time you were amicable. It will really be all about who can or cant pay for the better lawyer really in the end. I am also going to guess that since he moved out he has lived in another address and you will be able to find information to support the fact that you were not togther and i am also sure with it being such a large amount you have proper documentation. The fact that you are not divorced and he has a girlfriend will hurt him anyway so at least you have one thing working for you if it does get ugly. I agree with a divorce but think he is being greedy and I am sure even though some people dont want to put the blame on her but she probably has a lot more to do with this than you even think. Kill them with kindness and if it does get ugly get uglier!

Answer 5

I am unsure what state you are in, but in California we are a community property state. This is defined as all property that was aquired during a marriage in joint form. However, this can be challenged if you have proof or a written agreement that the property is to be counted as separate (ie the receipt from the money transfer and his signature signing over the deed to you). I don't really see him having a case here, but if he does persist, remind him that just as he is going after half your house, you would have an entitlement to half of his house. This might deter him from pursuing this thing in a nasty court battle. If you haven't already, I would consult a lawyer with this immeadiately and start getting my documents together. Good luck with this.

Answer 6

You paid him off and now he wants more. This could be sticky since you didn't do any of this legally, but all hope is not lost. When you file for divorce, you and the other spouse get lawyers and both of you get to fill out tons and tons of paperwork, called a Discovery. This is where it might get interesting as you have not cohabitated for three years, obviously money is not co-mingled and you can probably show where you paid him off three years ago and have been financially responsible for the house, etc for the past 3 years.

It works both ways and if he wanted to push it, you, too, could push for your half of his present home. What's right is right.

Talk to a lawyer and don't buy into that stuff about not needing one. You do.

Answer 7

Think of this from another angle.

You guys together as a married couple acquired a property which will go up in value as time goes by. At a certain point of time, you offered a sum to exclude your partner from enjoying the daily use of the property. You didn’t purchase his future rights on the property and compensate for his capital investment. You two might be still joint custodians. He can legally and morally keep the amount you gave him as the fee for getting the property for your "exclusive use". Now is the real time to split and now you have to pay what’s the real half value of the property. Or else, you can never give him a divorce and always keep the property in your joint custody but exclusively for your own use (for which you have already paid him).

Answer 8

Oh my, this is why you should have finalized the divorce as soon as any waiting periods were over. What need was there to wait? You say none of you want to get re-married, but never say never and you can't speak for anyone else, no matter how much you "think" you know them. I can understand why the girlfriend wants him to finalize things....who wants a boyfriend that is still married? I doubt that she held him by gun point and made him file. Your ex is responsible for his own actions, not her. Not that I am taking up for her, because she could be putting ideas in his head, but he is carrying them out. I do hope you have documentation for the pay off. Go to your bank and get records. Best of luck and get a good lawyer!!

Answer 9

People..people..people. She has the deeds. The house is in her name only..which means he signed off. He can spew all the crap he wants. If the on-line transaction matches the paperwork for the payoff and she can show he used it to buy his new place guess what....he is up a creek without a paddle. Now if he wants to play dirty...play dirty. He can ask for the house but he most likely won't even get near it if you get a good lawyer or prepare yourself for court. YOU HAVE THE KIDS. Most judges will award the house to the spouse just on that account.. Tell him to go suck an egg and tell his girlfriend to avoid dark alleys.

Answer 10

Tell him you want half of his house, because you are legally married, and what's his is half yours. You have prove that you paid him the money, or the house couldn't have been put in your name only. The bank should have a record of all this. You can bring up bank accounts to prove you did all that was to be done. Isn't amasing what trouble the other woman can cause, without thinking that it could cost her in the long run.