If women don't want to be seen as sex objects, why do they market themselves that way?

Question

Its like: "We want you to look, but we don't want you to enjoy it". If you enjoy looking, you're a perve.

And I don't buy the whole thing about dressing up for "yourself". Yeah right.. if that were true you would dress up just to sit around the house.

Answer 1

Right on brother! Women dress up like a when peacock struts and flutters their tail. To attract men. We are here on this earth for one reason and one reason only - to reproduce.

Answer 2

1) In fact I have sat around the house in a dress before, so booyah.
2) People when they go out want to look their best and want to dress according to the styles of the day - so in my case as a girl, i'd get some pretty funny looks if I was hanging out in a tee and baggy jeans at the club.
3) Often I dress up the most sexy when I'm on a date and here's why: I want my date to find me attractive, but also, I want him to know that I put in the effort to try to look good for him. Also, if a couple guys check me out while I"m out with him, he'll feel like he's the man for having a hot girl with him.
4) You can look all you want. Just don't assume that my outfit, or my genetic characteristics has anything to do with whether I want to have sex with you or not.
5) Also if you're out with another woman, keep your eyes to the girl you're with. Otherwise you're being rude.
6) Some women are going to be perceived as 'sexy' no matter almost what they wear. Please understand that just because you find them attractive, doesn't mean they grew that fantastic a** or big boobs for you.

Answer 3

Good point. Women dress more scantily clad and revealing than men. When was the last time you saw a man wearing skintight jeans or high-cut shorts, and a tight cleavage-showing tubetop?

I saw a woman walking in public the other day with shorts so tight and high that only the upper-half of her buttcheeks were covered. Her buttocks had more cottage cheese than Knudsen. There's children around that have to see this. I also see women that wear leggings/tights as pants (no skirt covering) and flaunt their cameltoe and the outline of their buttocks for the world to see. Often, these will be the same women that recite the same rhetoric that they "don't want to be seen as sex objects".

Women are their own worst enemy.


EDIT: And the post by Carrie is one of the most repeated lies often said by women in denial -- "women don't dress sexy for men, women dress sexy for other women". And this time she added "for gay men"; that's certainly a new one. Women for some reason hate to admit that they dress to impress men. I also like how she tries to water it down with the word "stylish", when anyone knows that "hoochie-like" or "sluhtty" are more accurate adjectives. What exactly is "stylish" about having your rear-end hanging out of your shorts?

So Carrie, women that go to the clubs and wear tight revealing clothes do so for other women, even though they're there picking up guys?

Women are well-aware that what they wear and how they appear will catch the eye of men, and the fact that you're pretending that women, with knowledge of this fact, do not dress to impress/attract men is an insult to men's intelligence. Men are also well-aware that women dress like this for men's attention.

Stop playing this childish game of pretending that women never dress for men, and be realistic for once.

EDIT: Carrie, well it's interesting that you use a common sexist stereotype; that you think straight men "don't get style". I think most men "get style" but choose not to make a big deal about it because being preoccupied with fashion isn't really considered to be a pillar of masculinity. But, I can tell when a woman is stylish and when she's tacky -- hence, I have a "sense of style". On a personal note, I'm a artist/painter and a photographer, thus I feel I have a somewhat trustworthy sense of style/fashion. Anyway, the interpretation of "style" is purely subjective -- so who's really to say that woman in hotpants isn't "stylish"? Why are you the authority on it?

EDIT: Carrie, I don't understand how you can't see that sense of "style" is subjective; "Vogue and Elle and LouLou and FT and Marc Jacobs and Holt Renfrew" are still merely their own subjective opinions; hugely relevant opinions yes, but opinions nonetheless. All art is subjective, and fashion-design is art. Any artform that entails creativity and freedom-of-expression isn't truly bounded or definitive.

Answer 4

Women dress for the occasion. If they want men to look at them they dress in provocative attire. They don't dress that way when they go to the theater or the opera. They dress that way because they want men to see them as sexy. Which doesn't bother me if it makes them feel good to be seen as sexy then so be it. What I have a problem with is those who do that then get mad if a particular fella isn't interested or if a fell she isn't interested in looks then it becomes an ordeal for all men to suffer through. Just be honest ladies and be real about it. Don't blame men if you dress that way and someone looks at you and just admit when you dress that way it is so you will be seen.

Answer 5

It's true that women want to be wanted by straight men. It makes them feel good. So they dress whatever way they feel they need to in order to achieve this.

Here's a great opportunity to throw out one of my favorite quotes.

"It upsets women to be, or not to be, stared at hungrily." ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

Just as women are programmed to think that hardly covered is sexy (and it is as long as it's done tastefully). They are also programmed to not admit that they want sex with men. So of course they're going to say they dress like that for every other reason they can think of.

Now, of course, they aren't dressing like that for the usual "pig" who just hoots and hollers at them. But they are still wanting to be wanted. Many women are addicted to sexual power and use it often to get attention and some other things. And at the same time they're probably hoping to catch the eye of the classier guy.

Answer 6

Wanting to attract a mate, or wanting to be attractive and wanting to be a sex object are two different things.

Why is it that dressing in an attractive way is seen as marketing ourselves as a sexual object? Why isn't seen as trying to market ourselves as a potential partner?

As for dressing for ourselves...that is true to some extent. When I dress up in feminine, sexy clothes, I feel more confident and out going. That doesn't mean I exist for your personal sexual pleasure.

Let's turn the question around...why don't men like being considered a source of money, when that is how they market themselves with their earning potential/salary/expensive cars.

Or the oldest trick in the book...using someone else's bank reciept to write your number on??

Use your brain guys. I know you have one.

Answer 7

Which would you prefer, women who try to look attractive or women who cover up completely, like those in parts of the Middle East? What's provocative to one person might not be the same to another. At one time, women showing their arms or legs was considered to be obscene and that's still true in some parts of the world.

Answer 8

Great point!

When women dress for other women, it is not in an overtly provocative manner. And when they dress for themselves, it is in comfortable clothing. The styles worn by (primarily) young women today are designed to be 'sexy'...and truly, what other reason would you want to dress in a sexy manner than if it isn't to attract attention?

This is NOT to suggest or support the idea that women should be held responsible if they are raped when dressing in that manner.

Answer 9

Of course, before I was married, I dressed in a manner to be appealing and sexually attractive. However, I draw a line between what appears sexy and what is clearly smutty. A smidge of cleavage or upper thigh is one thing. Having your butt cheeks hanging out is another. I am married with children. I am not going to show up to pick up my children from kindergarten or go to the grocery store looking like a hoochie. I don't think it is acceptable for mothers to portray that in front of their children's teachers, friends and classmates. When my husband and I go out, I am more likely to dress like I did before we were married, but it's not to be attractive to any man except my husband. He is proud to have me on his arm looking sexy.

Answer 10

Stylish women dress for other stylish women and gay men, not straight men.

If that happens to include showing off my fabulous breasts, so be it. It's not women's job to police the morality of men.

LYCRA: I put the word "Stylish" there for a reason. Any woman who wears little hoochie polyester shorts or white sandals or acrylic nails is dressing for straight men, absolutely. But she's not stylish. Straight men don't "get" fashion - women and gay men do, so any woman who is into fashion dresses for women and gay men. Just the fact that you thought that "stylish" meant little hot pants and miniskirts with tanktops and heels (big fashion faux pas) proves that you know nothing about style, so why pretend like you're some sort of authority on it?

And that is what I meant.

LYCRA: Nope, style is not subjective. We're all brainwashed by Vogue and Elle and LouLou and FT and Marc Jacobs and Holt Renfrew etc etc etc. And I'm sorry that my statement came across as sexist - I didn't mean it to. Some straight men do get fashion, but honestly, most don't, and yes, it's because being into fashion isn't considered the pillar of masculinity, so you're right about that.