I myself have made this mistake before, more then once. With guys whom I met, we went out for a few times, it was great and we had a good time. I thought there could be something to develop between us. After a few times, I spent a lot of time at his place, and all we did was stay there and you know the rest. I feel once you start doing that, he will get the signal that he has the upper hand. It's fun, and exciting but the price you pay is disappointment, pain, and the fact that he has put you on his 'casual' shelf... the next thing you know is there is no relationship anymore, he will not take the initiative to want to please you emotionally/mentally, he does not cherish you, he denies what you want in a relationship, basically he just doesn't give a S*** about you & YOU LOSE ALL YOUR BARGANING POWER. So my question is, why do some women end up happliy married to the guys they do this with & others get hurt. I know women who are married to a man they slept with on the first date
2007-09-13 05:23:19 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you are wondering why some women have done this, it’s because we know the women who it has worked in their favor, and a part of us feels that it will work in ours until we get disappointed.
2007-09-13 05:24:55 · update #1
I completely feel you, but giving it up so quick never really works in your favor unless you turn his a** out. It has happened to all of us. Having sex with a guy doesnt make him like you.
2007-09-13 05:30:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on the guy and what he was after to begin with. I don't see sex as a "bargaining power" - it is something that the two people share on an equal footing. If the only way you can keep the guy around is by dangling the promise of sex in front of his face, but not giving it up - it's not much of a relationship, is it. Yes, a lot of relationships don't work out - but it has to do with many more factors than the number of days it took you two to jump into the sack.
My personal experience - my ex and I "did the deed" on the first date; we got engaged 4 months later, married the following year, and were together for the total of 5 years before we split up. Our separation had nothing to do with whether or not we "did it" on the first date (5 years into the relationship, it was simply irrelevant); our relationship may not have worked out, but we remain on good terms to this day, 6+ years after the divorce.
My parents went out on their first date in April, became intimate within a week, got engaged in June, married in July; they've been married for 34 years. A truly mature and respectful relationship is not at all about "bargaining power."
2007-09-13 06:04:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well it you should make it understood what YOUR looking for befor that happen.some get married because the found and have a common ground and inbetween talk and walk the common ground.
most dont, they get caught up in the excitment of the action and all conversation are just sexaul.
with no commond ground to walk on other than sex. so you have to speak up people make the mistake that others can read minds or asume the one they are with feel they way they do.
conversate on thing you are into and find out with the person your with is into creat a commond ground befor getting down or.. just leave it as it is if your not looking for more than that. but sometime the heart open up at the time you do not wish it to and you have to express that and be ready for the rejection ot the acception.
2007-09-13 06:16:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because it's all about sex. Some men feel that if they get it on the first date, so did every other guy you went out with. So now you are on the date only list. Never every thing about marriage, because she's too easy.
For the ones that married the guy, well they got lucky. Some guys will marry the girl just because they got some. Or should I say, because she was willing to give them some.
That's the fun of dating, you just never know
2007-09-13 05:44:24 · answer #4 · answered by harold 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a guy, women always have the upper hand. You just have to use it to your advantage. Show him what he can have but don't let him touch, wear something that will turn heads and not just his... , the point is you never lose the barganinng power unless you think you do. If he plays hard play HARDER! Keep him in line and don't let him treat you like ****. If he does then do you really want him? The answer is no so find the next lucky guy!
2007-09-13 05:35:21 · answer #5 · answered by Mark S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could say such a lot men maintain to recognize and deal with their girlfriends/better halves correct it doesn't matter what degree of the connection they're in. Maybe you simply have not met the correct man or woman but. You look to be coming near relationships with matters like "bargaining energy". This probably a self-pleasant prophecy that you simply additionally meet guys who view relationships in phrases of "bargaining energy".
2016-09-05 12:45:43 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you 'give him the package' what else is there? I mean okay you go to his place and it happends. Afterwards leave! Don't setup shop if he's interested in a few days he'll call you. If you act like a doorstop then he'll treat you like one. Get a hobby or something to do after you leave him. Let him work for it! Men are hunters if you just 'feed' it to them they don't have to work for it. You're better than that, all women are.
2007-09-13 05:35:41 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I thought I did it because he was unbelievably hot and I lacked control.
Then again I have never looked at anything in our relationship to analyze whether I had "bargaining power", I just try to make Him as happy as He makes me. Maybe it is because we love each other, a love that grew out of common interests, friendship and true liking for each other.
2007-09-13 05:37:40 · answer #8 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe it depends on the type of guy the man is. Unfortunately, some men just use women. When they get what they want, they just ditch the women. Other men feel commitment after they sleep with a woman.
2007-09-13 05:32:44 · answer #9 · answered by Hi!!! :) 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It work when the guys are doing good. The guys know they cannot do better so they want to get married. You are having sex with guys that are out of your league. That is, you are good enough for sex but you are not good enough for marriage.
Lower your standards and choose guys that think they are doing well and they will want to marry you.
2007-09-13 15:15:21 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋