HOw important is a name? Does my step son get picked on because he has a girls name?

Question

I do not understand why my husband and his 1st wife named there son a girls name, but they did. He is now 13 and for the past 3 years he has been picked on in school for just about everything, I personally think it has to do with him having a girls name. I read that things like that happen, kids get judeged because of there names. He is also a big kid, about 100 lbs over weight (nothing I can do about it, no one listens to me when it comes to his eating habits) but I think if he had a manly name that he would be more successfull in many things, what do you think??

Answer 1

I'm a step mom too and my step son is also over weight. if you are serious about him being that much over weight that is crazy y'all need to get him help fast, if he isn't already diabetic then he WELL be soon. if not that then he heart will b shot before he is 25 that should be your and in other parents many concern. that's probably why he gets picked on + you didn't even tell us the name so i could tell ya what i think.

Answer 2

Well, you didn't give his name, so I'm assuming it's a definitely feminine name. That, along with being extremely overweight, probably is going to make his high school years miserable because no matter what, there's always the kids who think they're superior to everyone else and that it's their job to make sure everyone else is aware of their personal flaws. Is he an athlete? Is he tall as well as big? Football teams need some pretty big boys sometimes so maybe that would be a way to help him. For some reason, football=popularity in high school, no matter who you are. You didn't say if he lived with you, but if he does then there is something you can do about his diet. Take control and resist any efforts to undermine your attempt at better health. Could he go by his middle name or maybe initials? How about a nickname? Whatever happens, it sounds like you care very much for him and that is going to be the biggest help for him in the coming years. Good luck.

Answer 3

First, you should be concerned about his weight. Children only learn their eating habits when they are growing up. Then when they become older and on their own they will make the same decions. So he has a very high chance as of now being always over weight and never picking the right food because his parents didn't teach him right.
Second, a name is a hard thing because that give kids the first thing to pick on someone about. It really has nothing to do with his name it just gives them something to pick on. It probally mostly his weight. Also, as he gets older he could have a nick name. That might make him feel better.
Also, always remember, I grew up with a step mom and you can never fill the place of his real mom. So make sure you always treat him with respect and love and make sure to never yell at him or tell him what you think, only tell your husband. And from that you will always have a good relationship with him.
good luck to your step son and I will pray for him!

Answer 4

Tell us the name! Is it really a girls name, or is it an original boys name that the girls have "taken over" such as Ashley, Leslie, Shannon, etc?

Names can cause teasing, of course. That's obvious, but they don't cause a child to be mercilessly teased for everything. It sounds like your son is dealing with bullies, who, at this point, are probably teasing him out of habit, and not specifically because of one thing (his name or weight).

I would recommend speaking with his teachers or guidance counselor, he should not have to put up with teasing in school. 13 is too old for kids to be teasing, they know better and should be spoken to before they hurt any other children's feelings. Bullying is a serious issue that deserves a harsher punishment than it usually gets.

Also, not to pick on you, but I hope you are aware of how dangerous your son's weight issue is, both physically and mentally. No one listens to you? Your husband ignores you? I doubt that. Stop buying junk food, serve healthier meals, and get your son into some sports or activities to keep him busy. Not only will his weight loss be good for his body, but I'm sure it will help his self esteem and stop some of the teasing.

Good luck to you and your family.

Answer 5

what's his name

Answer 6

Despite so many people wanting 'unique' names, kids really just want to fit in.

Your poor stepson has a double whammy. Overweight and a girl's name.

Try to find a nickname that suits him but don't go oveboard in the 'manliness'. Something like Brock (while it can be a fine name) would be seen as too much of an attempt. Other alternatives include using the male version of his name or having him go by his middle name.

And please do something about his weight. An obese child is faced with tons of health problems. Even if you feel mean by helping to modify his diet and exercise, remember that you are doing it for HIS current and future well-being .

Answer 7

There are many unisex names; some are used more for boys than girls, and others more for girls than boys.

I don't mean to sound unkind, but without knowing the name (I mean, is it REALLY bad?!), my first inclination would be to suspect that your stepson is picked on because of his size, not **because** of his name. I would guess that they use his name as a means of picking on him because of his size. In other words, even if he had another name, they'd probably still pick on him - they just wouldn't pick on him about his name.

The other thing is that he doesn't have to use his girly-sounding name - he could go by a nickname or his middle name, or if he really hates his first name, he can change it legally when he's an adult. But his weight issue cannot be so easily remedied or hidden, and his size will most likely inhibit his future success, if only because (I'm guessing) that he's very shy and withdrawn because of it.

The biggest gift you could give him would be to help him get his weight under control. Talk to your husband about your concerns. There might not be anything you can do to change the way the child's mom handles the issue, but you should be able to persuade your husband to see reason.

Good luck to you both.

Answer 8

The name might not be doing him any favors, but odds are there's more at play. If your boy named Sue was an all-star athlete, chances are the name would be less of an issue. (Remember the military guy, Kelly, who won Trump's Apprentice early on? Doubt he took a lot of teasing for having a girl's name.) But at 100 pounds overweight? Yikes. As stepmom you might not be directly responsible, but anything you can do to help improve his health will probably have a positive impact on his self-esteem ... and that can only help him survive the rough teen years.

Answer 9

It could be because of his name, what is it? Or it could be because of his weight, you mentioned he is significantly over weight. At his age, kids are mean and will find something, anything to make fun of. I know your hands are tied as his step mom, but try your best to build his self-confidence and encourage him. Maybe you could suggest to him better eating and exercising habits for health reasons or as something new to try, don't make him feel "fat". Ask him to play ball with you or go for a walk. As far as his name, there is nothing you or he can do about it now, just don't let him hear you say he has a girly name.

Eharrah1: Reread the question, 13 and big at 100lbs OVER weight, not weighs 100lbs.

Answer 10

Kids can be very cruel. It doesn't take much for them to choose someone to pick on. I do think parents should keep this in mind when they are naming their children. If the name is the problem with your stepson, there's probably nothing that can be done about it now if it's been going on for 3 years. You may want to consider moving him to another school where he doesn't have this history, and hopefully the new kids won't be as cruel & immature.