I have been with my husband eleven years, married only one year. I am starting to regret the fact that I got married. I can not get him to pay me any attention. We do not spend any time together has a couple. We are force to spent less time together because I work during the day and he work at night. When the weekend come we sit in to different rooms watching tv waiting on the other to make the first move. I need help or suggestions on how to get my husband to pay more attention then the tv.
2007-09-13 04:30:43 · 19 answers · asked by sanna 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You say that he's not paying attention to you.....
Sounds like you're not paying anymore attention to him either..
You make the first move!! Stop waiting for him to do it!!
2007-09-13 05:43:04 · answer #1 · answered by jezyka 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You two have entered into a ho-hum life. Meaning that you both have entered into and accepted the life that you have created yourselves. It's now time to liven things up a little bit. It may be a little hard since you both are working different shifts, but it can still be done. Make plans early on in the week to do something un-ordinary during the next weekend. Try to think of something that you both may enjoy, but also try to make it something that either you haven't done before or something that you have rarely done. When walking with each other in public, try taking your husbands arm. This will show him that you are not only proud to be with him but also will give him a sense of intimacy issues from you. Look at him in the face when talking to him and make sure that he notices. Maybe throw him a wink or two while you are out somewhere. You have to show attention in order to get attention. Play your cards right and I think that you'll see a brighter future for your relationship.
2007-09-13 04:54:59 · answer #2 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to honestly take the bull by the horns and tell him what is on your mind. Come right out and tell him you are lonely and miserable because you don't spend any time together. You need to let him know that you love him and it is not his fault, it is just the circumstances of your mixed schedules (he may be feeling like you do not want to be with him either if you haven't talked - you never know). If you are going to succeed you both need to look at your schedules and plan to spend some time together and make it a priority. It may be a little weird at first, but if you truly like each other, you will look forward to you time together. It can be taking a walk, going to a movie, staying in bed, whatever you choose.
The truth of the matter is that most couples get so wrapped up in earning a living, they forget how to create a life with their partner. Part of this is not forgetting to enjoy the moment. You NEED to find the moment if you have a prayer of lasting.
You need to be in control, take responsibility and make it happen for the two of you.
2007-09-13 04:46:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been with your husband for 11 years, married for 1 year, be sure that you are not making the mistake of thinking that once you both got married that things would be different. You both sit in different rooms waiting for each to make the first move indicates there is no real closeness and communication between the both of you. To resolve conflict does not mean you strive to win, because if one loses, you both lose. To resolve conflict constructively is to make sure you both come off with feeling validated and understood with a compromise that benefits the both of you. Sounds as if you both are being stubborn with not wanting to be the first to make the first move towards reconciliation. The goal should not be who gives in, but to do what it takes for the benefit of the relationship. Why don't you go to your husband and just sit by him, hold his hand and then tell him you love him. Tell him you respect the time he wants to spend alone and let him know that if he desires your company that you will be more than happy to spend time with him. And then just wait. Wait wait wait. In time he will come to see that you truly do validate him and his need for time alone and he will come to miss you and desire to be with you. Rememer, you can catch more bees with honey. I do hope you both will be able to knock the walls of conflict between you and be able to come together as husband and wife and you both vowed to be. Best of luck to you both!
2007-09-13 07:01:49 · answer #4 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She wants to have the attention for herself and if another girl gets it she will be jealous. She also wants to prove she is the best girl in the office. The best thing to do is just ignore it. Things will fall in place. Just wait. Her husband will find out. All those men crushing on her aren't any good. They should know she is married. If you like one of them I suggest you start looking for a better man, not a man that's just wants to fool with you and leave.
2016-05-18 07:11:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him this and ask him what he would like to do in order for you guys to spend more time together. Suggest a date night or pick movies you can watch together a couple of nights per week. Plan dinners so you can eat together. There are lots of things you can do but make sure he is willing to make it a priority too. Good luck!!
2007-09-13 04:46:34 · answer #6 · answered by Shelley L 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Men are very visual creatures, we respond to what we see as opposed to anything else. I say you put yourself in his sight, but not just a normal you. Have you considered maybe a new hair-style, some new clothes, some Victoria Secret maybe??? There are also some good books on lighting that spark back in your marriage too. Maybe you two should talk about it and decide on a course of action together.
2007-09-13 05:25:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been with my husband 12 years and married for1 year also. If you are both sitting in the house just go to where he is and sit in his lap! Watch tv with him. Make plans to go to dinner. Rent some movies! Just plan something!
2007-09-13 04:49:33 · answer #8 · answered by Meichelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"When the weekend come we sit in two different rooms watching tv waiting on the other to make the first move."
You make the first move!
2007-09-13 04:39:33 · answer #9 · answered by why ask 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
UMM i would change jobs to be on the same shift! Doing the same thing you are doing before and almost lost my marriage. We worked separate shifts and hardly seen each other and he found someone else to give him attention at work. May want to seriously consider other options or take the initiative!
2007-09-13 04:45:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋