problems with father?

Question

I am 25 years old having issues with my father. I dated a man for 10 months and broke up with him in May because he hit me. He had full custody of his 4 year old son. My father and stepmother got to know this child in the last three months that we dated. After we broke up, my father came to me asking what I thought about him continuing to see the child. I told him that it didn't make sense. However, my father disregarded my feelings and continued to see him. Now, 4 months later, this is tearing my family apart. My brother doesn't approve, either. My father knows that we do not approve but takes it to extremes (will not even call us when he has this child). In the past month this has become every day. This child is mean just like his father and continuously disrespects everyone. I currently have a new boyfriend who my father won't even try with. This child has a grandmother to provide care. Now I hear my father is going to try and get custody because my ex is in jail! what to do?

Answer 1

I can understand how you feel.

My son was dating a girl with a child, he also has a 3 year old with this same girl. After they broke up, I found it very hard not to be a part of my (step) granddaughters life. I have known her since she was 4 months old, now age 5. My son has primary custody over his son.
I realize my circumstances are different because my grandson is a sibling to the little girl.

You brought this little boy into their lives and it looks like they fell madly in love with him. Since his dad is a bad parent and a loser, your father and stepmom have taken upon themselves to save this child from a life of misery.
It wasnt the childs fault that the relationship didnt work out.
It may not seem like it is the most appropriate thing for them to do, being that it is your ex. and you feel like they should move on..Because you have. It looks like they have already made up their mind.
Fighting with them over this is not going to solve anything.
At least try to understand their feelings over the issue.

On another note: I know it would have been hard for me to accept this situation if it was me, with my parents and ex.

At least for the best welfare of the child, I hope he gets a good home. I honestly think that your father trying to get custody is a bit over the top.

Is the child's mother not in the picture anymore. Because even though the ex has full custody, the mother will get the son since the father is in jail. Or even the Maternal or Paternal Grandparent.

Try your best to not let this divide your family.
Good luck, faith