My best friend of ten years has been cheating on her husband (their marriage has always been a violent one) over the last year and has gotten pregnant with her lover's child. Her husband finally found out just recently and says that he wants to start over again (though he thinks the baby is his) considering they have two young children together (one 4 and one almost 3). When her husband found out and confronted her lover (who was a long time coworker of his and hang-around pal) and demanded to know if he (the lover) loved my best friend and if so, was he willing to marry her and be good to her. The lover, of course, said nothing and refused to step up to the plate.
2007-09-13 01:31:19 · 17 answers · asked by Kitten 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My friend is completely shocked at this behavior because she truly believed that her lover would man up about it. The whole situation is a big cluster**** and I told her she ought to wash her hands of the whole situation and try to start over somewhere else. What do you think? As her best friend I want to be supportive but I think the whole situation is pretty screwed up. Suggestions?
2007-09-13 01:31:27 · update #1
To answer your question about why I'm involved. I'm not, not really. My best friend and I tell each other everything and I've known about her affair since day one but I didn't feel it was my place to inform her husband. I'm asking because I love her dearly and she's asking for advice and help and I wouldn't be much of a friend if I didn't offer her what I could.
2007-09-13 01:53:33 · update #2
i think you gave her the right advice she needs to move on if she was cheating she didnt love her husband and if the lover didnt step up he dont love her. Hubby wanting a second chance if she still has feeling it might be worth a try most men would have left her. BUT if it is violent get her out...
2007-09-13 01:39:27 · answer #1 · answered by jes_j78 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
first of all why are you so involved and why are you asking this .. The husband needs to know the truth, you're not doing anyone any favors here, you're just as deceiving as your"best friend" Tell the guy the truth , he'll find out sooner or later anyway and be looking to kick your a** too. You both are stupid aren't you?
I would kick her stupid a** out on the street and try my hardest to own every piece and part of everything we had together. Get a paternity test and if it truly wasn't mine wash my hands of her for ever. The stupid Bit** cheated more then once with this co-worker and it will happen again with him or someone else.. she needs to get her head on straight and stop f**in every guy that says shes cute..
2007-09-13 08:47:39 · answer #2 · answered by slim 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think she definitely should dump the baby's father....He doesn't love her and never did....She would be better off without her husband because they have a history of violence. This is a terrible mess! Obviously your friend didn't use birth control.....was it her intention to get pregnant by this other man? In the hopes that he would step up to the plate and be a husband to her and a father to the baby? You know what they say about people that assume things.
2007-09-13 08:43:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Her lover could have not said anything bc of her husband being the one who confronted him and asked him about it. It may not mean that he will not step up to the plate. Whatever she decides to do, support her all the way. You have stated your opinion on what she should do, so now just sit back and be there for her when she needs you. I agree with you, I believe she should start fresh without either of them. Especially without her husband bc of the violence. The children do not need to be around that either. She is hurting the children staying with him and putting up with everything she is.
2007-09-13 08:40:14 · answer #4 · answered by Angelic Valentine 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well, at least her husband showed her that her lover was just a waste of space!
It just goes on showing that having an affair doesn't solve any problem, just adds more to it.
She should try and see if she can salvage her relationship with her husband and if not, then well, I guess it'd be a good idea to start afresh.
Good luck to her.
2007-09-13 08:45:07 · answer #5 · answered by Kc 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That is pretty screwed up and if I were her I'd wash my hands of the whole situation and concentrate on being a good mother. That is all that really matters anyway.
2007-09-13 08:53:08 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should get away and make a fresh start, she cant carry on her whole life with a violent relationship, it'll eventually collapse and the so called lover's just a dog, shes better than him.. Technically hes cheated with his friends wife, he should get batterred.
How saddening, do men just want the bed? Yeah okay women must also be playing a part in it, dont just blame the man.. Who gave me a thumbs down? Lol!
2007-09-13 08:41:20 · answer #7 · answered by im_aCrazyCat 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
It is screwed up and I'd try and stay as far away from this train wreck as possible. If you keep getting dragged into this though I'd re-evaluate your friendship with her and decide if you want to keep switching seats on the Titanic or you get out. I don't know if I could deal with a friend who caused such a mess. It's not your problem, don't forget that.
2007-09-13 08:39:33 · answer #8 · answered by Shel 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
this is tough... I have a friend who cheated on her hubby, he was abusive/violent as well... she got preggie by her "lover"... the lover didn't want anything to do w/ the child and her husband wanted to work things out... he is no longer violent/abusive... and he accepts the child as his... they both go to church now... so, God is important, too... =) tell her good luck! =)
2007-09-13 08:55:34 · answer #9 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah. Her husband ought to kick her butt right out of the house - for cheating and for being dumb He should also ask for a paternity test after the baby is born - no reason he should have to pay for her mistake.
Seriously. How stupid do you have to be to incur an unwanted pregnancy today?
2007-09-13 08:39:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋