Friend of mine, he has a beautiful wife, smart and lovely kids, good job position, but he love to cheated with others women.He told me that he never use his heart when he do that.He only loves his wife.He's 1 of managerial in a best night club in town.I just wondering, what does he still looking for?while everytime he tell to anybody about how wonderful his marriage life....
2007-09-12 22:54:55 · 21 answers · asked by Mell 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That's easy. He may and probably does love his wife and family, he just doesn't respect them.
In the last analysis it is respect for ones mate and the relationship that keeps marriages together, not love.
Respect requires maturity. Love, in a sense, is about being selfish and seeking gratification, respect is about being selfless and doing things for the good of the relationship.
But the male isn't the only one who deserves blame. When women insist on being told they are "loved" as a way to provide them assurance of a continuing relationship instead of being told they are respected as a way of assuring a long lasting relationship, they may unwittingly set up the relationship for failure.
2007-09-12 23:11:25 · answer #1 · answered by fredrick z 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
The reason he does this is because he can. I know it is hard for many to believe, but many men can disconnect sex from love very easily. Yes, I do believe he loves his wife and family very much and if given an ultimatum, he would chose his wife and family. My husband loves me and always has, very much; and he cheated once. He was very honest when I asked him why - have I done something wrong?, Do you love this woman over me? etc. - He told me he only loves me and could never love anyone else; that love had nothing to do with his being with her; it was just something he wished to do; without thinking of the consequences.
I am not saying it is correct to cheat. I believe no one should do so as you end up hurting the one you love so deeply. But, yes - they can separate love and sex. I feel any man who cheats is having his ego boasted and acts selfishly. So, he is looking for sex only and will continue to do so until he is confronted about it.
We have and always had a great sex life and I believe my husband wanted to try something new, something a bit different or to see if he was still attractive to other women as he said they used to flirt with him and they had not been doing that for some time; he was feeling low about his appeal. Not a good excuse, but it is the reason. Your friends wife needs to address this with him; especially with all the STD's out there.
2007-09-13 01:08:39 · answer #2 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
True. People get married for many reasons. A woman doesn't "need" a man to have a child or to be sexually satisfied, but the same could be said about a man. Marriage is beyond procreation, sex, and companionship. It is a synergistic combination of those three aspects creating a whole much larger than the sum of its parts.
2016-04-04 18:29:54 · answer #3 · answered by Heather 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently your friend loves the 'conquest' of chasing other women. It has nothing to do with lust or love, it is just to fulfill his ego. He may also enjoy the thrill of the possibility of being caught - living on the edge - so to speak. The big question is "Does the wife know?"
If not, well the later statement rings true. If not, then the former statement. Either way, he ought to stop before he catches something he doesn't want to take home.
2007-09-13 01:30:34 · answer #4 · answered by sagegranny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I liked Frederick Z's answer....you can still love a person, but not respect them. Without respect, there can be no 'true' love.
I'd also like to add that this guy being a manager in a nightclub and also trying to have the wife/kids deal is not compatible. That type of job is not conducive to marriage and family. I'm not saying he wouldn't cheat if he had any other job, but this job allows him more access and temptation.
2007-09-13 00:45:31 · answer #5 · answered by lookinforanswers 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you do not live in their house you wouldn't know if their marriage is really happy or not. We cannot judge people's lives from outside. Maybe they've got some problems but they are successfully pretending that there are none.
This is not an excuse ofcourse for cheating a spouse. It is totally wrong.
2007-09-12 23:17:08 · answer #6 · answered by Ardelia 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
His marriage is wonderful and him cheating has nothing to do with that that's what men do they cheat on their wives and think nothing of it because they know how to separate their feelings. Sex is just that when he is with another female but with his wife they make love this is how they justify their behavior. He works in a night club with drinking and women looking their best are you kidding anyone would cheat put in that situation.
2007-09-12 23:44:41 · answer #7 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Because he is a manager of night club so he can pick and choose his victims randomly. How do you know he has a happy marriage? Having a beautiful wife, smart and lovely kids and a good job does not make for a happy marriage.
Holy crap all our answers sucked go figure!
2007-09-12 23:00:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋
it all lies with his ego, when he is with these other women it boosts his self esteem, makes him feel special. he is selfish and lacks understanding due to his belief system, he may have seen this kind of behavior out of his father. he has no respect for the wife and he doesn't love her all that much to do this, he may just not want to go through a divorce and loose alot of money. one day it will all catch up with him.
2007-09-12 23:37:01 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A married man that cheats on his wife DOES NOT HAVE A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE!
He cannot cheat on the woman he loves. It's not possible, because if he loved her, he could never do that to her and he could never need it for himself. It's all a bunch of bullsht. He is just cheating her too! He's using her for reasons like, the children, the house, the money, etc. He doesn't love her and you can advice this loser that payback is gonna be a b i t ch!
2007-09-12 23:14:41 · answer #10 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 3⤊ 4⤋