Here's one to read.?

Question

everything I do is useless,
every lung is full of smoke.
I am sad, it doesn't matter,
soon it's gonna be much better,
hope it's gonna be a joke.

guess it will be rain today,
head is heavy, slightly aches.
my life is hard, I hardly write,
I should be closing this web-site,
but I just can't - too much it takes.

It's written just 5 min. ago for those who write without the rhymes and consider such writing as POETRY. You are to chose whether write poems or short stories. but don't do the mentioned above. it just makes me furious and mad.

the rain just bagan. fresh air and mood. relaxing!

Answer 1

It's a good poem. Really is.
The last two lines threw me off though. I guess you can consider changing it or maybe making it go better with the poem. Every lung is full of smoke is sorta strange wording too. It's not really important, but consider it.

I like the poem though. Good luck.

Answer 2

well, there's some rhythm to it.
In my view, the speaker sounds low-spirited and crestfallen! Maybe he/she is a smoker, "every lung is full of smoke" and " am sad, it doesn't matter." If so, the speaker feels guilty and censurable. In order to overcome such brazenness, the speaker should not be resentful since it wont "gonna be much better." It may rain but already "head is heavy, slightly aches" and "my life is hard, I hardly write." Hence this shrewed bunkum "I should be closing this web-site,
but I just can't - too much it takes." If I were asked, I'd advise the speaker to loathe Marlboro and succor unpretentious gentility, dignity, and modesty. . . .and then glorify Him in the Highest!



good luck

Answer 3

its f9 but u can improve it try 2 give ur poem some depth some meanings n i am sure u'll get a better result.

All dah best

Answer 4

interesting

Answer 5

Its different.