my husband and i seperated on bad terms i got a pfa against him protection from abuse and we are not aloud no contact i was really thinken about him a few weeks ago it was near our anniversary so i went and seen him at a local bar hes a dj on the side i hugged him talked to him and even kissed him and told him how sorry i was for the pain and grief i caused him there was no cheating involved he told me he would be my friend if i dropped the pfa but he does want a divorce it did bring closure for me i think but i still care about him i think about him everyday do u think if i did drop the pfa he would call me and maybe would could date ???? thanks guys for your input jewels
2007-09-12 18:40:53 · 16 answers · asked by jewels 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Okay, so I know that sometimes you feel lonely and sad and wish you could just have things the way they were in the beginning or whatever, but I am here to tell you a hard lesson that I had to learn -- are you ready?
ONCE AN ABUSER, ALWAYS AN ABUSER!!!
I hate to say something so horrible, but it is true. He may say all kinds of wonderful things and be all sweet and lovey, but one of these days, he will go back to his old ways. It could be days, weeks or even years, but it will happen.
You are better off to just get the divorce and move on. Please know I am not saying this to be cruel. I am saying this because I want you to be safe and happy. Yes, you may think getting back with him will make you happy, but it won't last. You will end up right back where you were before.
Please don't do it. You are better than that. Move on. Live your life. Someone wonderful will come along when you least expect it - really!
2007-09-12 18:50:12 · answer #1 · answered by animal lover 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's a smooth guy who knows exactly what you want to hear.
By going there, etc you have played into his ego about how he owns you...if you drop the PFA he will have even more proof of how he can take advantage of you.
You broke up for really good reasons - don't go back to the bad. You are weak right now and need to keep the PFA.
Everything in life should be this simple.
Don't think...just do...just keep the PFA.
2007-09-13 01:50:31 · answer #2 · answered by Stan W 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO! Don't go back to him, don't date him and don't drop the pfa. He's an abuser, and a leopard does not change it's spots. If he does come back, he will do it again, and you will waste even more of your life with an abusing jerk. In one years time guarenteed, you will be in the same situation you were in 6 months ago, with you regretting taking him back
2007-09-13 03:05:50 · answer #3 · answered by Penny P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not drop the pfa if he abused you. Don't violate it yourself again either! If he wants a divorce, there is no point in dating him. Go see a counselor to talk through your feelings; don't regress into an unhealthy relationship. He knows how to play you.
2007-09-13 01:49:24 · answer #4 · answered by skip_pingstone 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Say you did go back and everything was wonderful for about a month the two of you would be right back where you are now.Pain and hurt don't go away it gets buried deep down and it surfaces when the auguring starts. Think real hard before you do something stupid.What you are going through is normal you are reliving all the good memorizes but what about all the bad.It's funny how that works we always remember good things never the bad why do you think that is.
2007-09-13 06:06:25 · answer #5 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you drop the pfa that you would be making a not so good decision. I think you need time to heal and then move on with your life. Don't make this mistake and go back with him. Don't do it. You will look back and be so glad you didn't.
2007-09-13 02:11:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just being nice so you can drop the pfa. Don't fall for it. You should have never gone to see him. Some women just don't learn. That's why men get away with abusing women.
2007-09-13 01:48:53 · answer #7 · answered by mamabear 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to go back to an abusive man? Sounds pretty dubious to me. Don't drop the pfa. Move on with your life and don't let this man back in it. YOu will regret it.
2007-09-13 01:45:39 · answer #8 · answered by Kathy R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How can we know when we don't know the reason for the split. It sounds like you caused the split so he might not be ready to forgive. It sounds to me like he just wants to get the PFA off his back.
2007-09-13 01:46:37 · answer #9 · answered by gma 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its a battered woman syndrome......You long for him again not minding of all the hurts he had caused u.
Its all up to u. Good Luck. May u never fall this time around
GOD BLESS
2007-09-13 02:28:52 · answer #10 · answered by mia v. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋