ok, here's the situation: i have been married for just a little over a year and apparently my wife has absoloutly no desire or interest in sex at all. i'm only 31 and she's only 29, yet we have sex only once a month, twice a month if i'm lucky. i am always the person to initiate sex. when we do have sex, she has difficulty achieving lubrication, no matter how long forplay is involved, we have to use lubrication to have sex. neither one of us were virgins, yet she was very ademant about waiting until marriage until we had sex...so, we dated for about a year and a half before we got married and this is apparently what i get for the wait. this is my first marriage, but she has been married before. her first husband cheated on her. other than our lack of a sex life, we get along great. it's difficult for me as a man to live in this unfulfilling sexual relationship. is there something i'm doing wrong? is there something wrong with her? i have never been with a woman like this
2007-09-12 18:29:58 · 8 answers · asked by helpwanted 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
And I'll bet she promised she'd be worth the wait too, huh? Now you know why people want to test drive before they buy. When a woman insists on waiting until marriage that should be a big red flag! Particularly since this is her second marriage too. It's not as if she were trying to preserve her virginity after all. And of course her first husband's cheating should have been another red flag.
When a woman exhibits no regrets about waiting until marriage you need to ask yourself why it's so easy for her. If she doesn't appear to miss sex before marriage what makes you believe she'll want it after marriage?
It sounds like your wife could go indefinitely without sex. Clearly your two libidos are mismatched. It isn't fair to you to continue this way. Get a divorce and marry someone compatible. Learn from this mistake.
2007-09-12 20:53:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with needing to use store bought lubricant. I love sex, but sometimes my partner and I just use it either for fun or because I do need it sometimes. No biggy. Hormonal birth control can cause this problem. It can also cause a lower sex drive. Your wife clearly is having some sort of problem. Her sex drive is not normal! She should see a doctor and may even need a therapist to get this sorted out because she is really missing out!! Did you know her sex drive was so bad before marrying her?
2007-09-13 01:47:23 · answer #2 · answered by skunk pie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon,she flat out trick you into marring her didn't you think it was a little strange her wanting to wait to have sex unit you were married after all she was married once. Now you know why her husband really cheated on her lack of nookie my friend.I'm sorry but i would not want to stay married to someone i did not trust. You said yourself (this is what i get for waiting)Unless your from another country divorced women just don't wait to have sex to after the wedding.There is nothing wrong with you other then being to naive.As for her she had know business keeping her dislike of sex from you,a woman her age that's been married wouldn't want to wait to have sex with you. You do know that was a red flag ? Looks like the only way you are going to have a sex life is cheating on her just like her first had to.
2007-09-13 02:08:44 · answer #3 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you mean to tell me that your the only man in the world that didnt know that sex ends when the marriage begins?
LMAO just kidding.
If you feel the love is there from her part, then the problem may be that you are more sexually active than she is right now.
In a marriage you have to look at sex as a bonus check from work. hope you get one but know sometimes you won't.
Concentrate on your relationship more than sex. if you concentrate more on sex, then your love will turn into lust as soon as you get some. Then you'll end up lusting your wife more than loving her. Your going to want the sex more than her love.
Have a heart to heart with her. Tell her how you feel and what your needs are. If she loves you she'll work with you.
Good luck man! Gotta go. my girlfriend wants some sex now.
Just kidding again. lol (o.0)--b
2007-09-13 01:46:17 · answer #4 · answered by Lilkryptonite 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the problem is with her. Something isn't right for her not to enjoy sex. Ask her about this and perhaps the 2 of you should seek counseling from a sex therapist. I'm not being a smarta** either. This could be a pretty serious problem for her.
2007-09-13 01:37:40 · answer #5 · answered by Kathy R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her to go to the doctor, something is wrong. My mom had the same problem, finally she went to the doctor and I think they gave her some kind of homone pill or something. Anyways, it saved them from getting a divorce, dad was having trouble like you are. No, they didn't mention this until after I was in my late 20's.
2007-09-13 01:48:38 · answer #6 · answered by pony 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she needs to go on a check up and find out what she can do to fix her problem. maybe that's the same reason why her first husband cheated on her. you can also askher what you can do for her to get her ready
2007-09-13 01:38:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure what to tell you other then talking to her. Maybe she has a condition of some sort mentally or physically.
try this.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/search/search
2007-09-13 01:44:36 · answer #8 · answered by M.D. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋