Before anyone calls me a dirty name, we are seperated and have been for the past couple of weeks but I met up with this guy at work who is also seperated from his wife and we started talking about how horrible it is to be apart from our spouses and one thing led to another. This is the second time I've done something like this in the past week, the othe r time I just did something to a guy I hardly knew at a club but this time was different because it was full of emotions. I know I kind of cheated but now I'm thinking rather or not I should tell my husband because I'm really attracted to the other guy.
2007-09-12 17:33:53 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your husband won't know if you keep it to yourself. And if he did find out he could use it against you in the divorce. You're already separated and getting a divorce anyway so don't let it bother you. It's good you're starting to move on with your life.
2007-09-12 17:54:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Seek help. This is not normal behavior, nor is it safe. Just because you and your husband have been separated for the past couple of weeks doesn't mean anything, that man is still your husband. You didn't say whether or not you were in the process of getting a divorce, so it's kind of hard for people not to call you dirty names, even though they shouldn't. Get into counseling asap and find out what your underlying issues are. Should you tell your husband? I don't have enough information about your situation to say yes or no. If you have no plans to resume your marriage, then what would it serve for you to tell him? Nothing. If you plan to resume your marriage, you don't want those two secrets between you, you should tell him.
2007-09-12 17:42:52 · answer #2 · answered by grace95838 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i cannot call you names because all i really think you are going through is sadness and depression. You did not cheat because you are dirty but just to keep sad feelings at bay. I am sure of this. The first time was just to show yourself you are strong and can live without your husband the second time it was more intense because you actually felt complicity with this guy going through the same ordeal. You were able to feel the sadness and share it with him. I think the decision if you should tell your husband depends on what you are going to do with your marriage, if you are divorcing I do not think he needs to know, after all he may have cheated too in these past weeks. If you are planning to return you should tell him because hiding it can only further the crisis.
2007-09-12 21:21:34 · answer #3 · answered by silver wings 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, regardless of being seperated or not - you did cheat. Not only once, but twice. This has more to do with your self esteem than anything. It does say that you don't have much, and need to work on that rather than being so needy and crawling into bed with men you don't even know. You need to be honest because its the right thing to do, plus your husband deserves to know if you are putting him at risk for sexually transmitted diseases. Even if you don't tell him, it will eat away at you until it ends up ruining your relationship anyways. Let your husband know, file for divorce and move on.
2007-09-12 17:47:05 · answer #4 · answered by Sweetness 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first initial response would be YES! TELL HIM!! But that's without weighing the consequences and stuff first. Do you still love your husband? Is he the type of guy that would be able to forgive you? And if saving your marriage isn't even an option is this guy someone you could have a real future with? Either way I still think you should tell him because otherwise you'd just be a liar but then again.... what he doesn't know can't hurt him. In the end it's totally up to you. Good Luck!!
2007-09-12 18:02:02 · answer #5 · answered by sweet short and sarcastic 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hello? Separation is not an excuse or a free ticket to do your own thing. The divorce paperwork is though. You couldn't wait until you got a divorce? While I can understand that you are probably stressed behind your marital problems, sleeping with other people, especially people you do not know is flat out wrong. You didn't "kind of cheat" you DID cheat. It is not my place to judge you because I don't know you. But in MY opinion, you are wrong for whoring around after two whole weeks of being separated from your husband.
2007-09-12 17:44:14 · answer #6 · answered by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, you didn't kinda cheat. You DID cheat. Call a spade a spade. You may be separated but you are still married and you had no business with another man no matter how upset you both were.
What concerns me is that you've done this twice in a week's time. You have a serious problem. Having random sex with strangers is dangerous for so many reasons, and it is certainly not going to fix your problems with your husband.
This is not a good thing you've done and I feel like I am on a counseling recommendation kick tonight, but you do need counseling. What you've done is a bit scary. Please stop trying to make yourself feel better with other men and try to work with the one you committed yourself to when you married him...and go see a good counselor.
2007-09-12 17:43:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You "went all the way"? What are you 13 years old?
You did not "kind of cheat", you did cheat. You are married and you had some kind of sex with 2 other people, so you are an adultress.
You need to tell your husband so he can find a real wife who knows what loyalty is.
2007-09-12 17:38:34 · answer #8 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Will not call you a dirty name, because you already
dis-respected yourself, and your marriage. You
were seperated, but still married, so you cheated
and now you want what, admiration. One day you
might realize what marriage life is about as now
you seem to like messing around, and you fall
too easily, and you have to be careful because
one day you could fall and not get up. Take life
and marriage seriously and you will find that you
don't have to have one night stands.
2007-09-12 18:25:33 · answer #9 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a hoe bag. You should go to a club, get wasted, and let a bunch of guys "go all the way" with you, in the mens bathroom on the floor. Where you belong. geez. He probably has been doing the same thing as you, people like you usually roll in packs anyways. Packs full of VENEREAL DISEASE.
2007-09-12 18:22:45 · answer #10 · answered by M M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋