My husband and I have been married less than a yr and recently moved because of his job. I've given up everything to be with him and keep our family together (we have a 3yr old) As we'll be moving quite alot I gave up the option of having a secure job, friendships, seeing my family, settling down to buy the house I've dreamt about buying since I was 15. My husband has been acting incredibly selfish lately with no regard to my feeling at all. He seems to think our lives should be all about him all the time and our relationship has done a complete 180. I know he's keeping something from me as when I bring it up he just leaves the room or brushes me off. We used to be really close but he's in hospital at the moment where i visited once and then he told me not to bothor comming in the next day. His excuse was he didnt want to burden me. I find that incredibly insulting that he even thought that. His friends can visit all day long but his wife cant!
What can I do?
2007-09-12 17:27:08 · 14 answers · asked by rhaevyn 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok this is for hammy i should clarify that I was more than willing to give up everything to be with him and would do it again. I have no regrets. I also have no problems making friend nor keeping them it is just difficult to maintain really close friendships when you've only had 6mths with them.
The problem's I'm worried about are to do with my husbands treatment of my and his complete disregard of me. He says something hurtful then when I call him on it and tell him not to treat me like that he blames me for what he said. Oh he's not that sick either just has a sore foot.
2007-09-12 17:52:56 · update #1
You say I know he's keeping something from me. How do you know this? If you asked him about this more than twice then I'd understand him leaving the room. No one wants to be accused of something over and again. I'm sure you are intuitive and there probably is something. But without proof questioning him is like pissing into the wind.
You do seem frustrated with your situation. You mention a number of things that you've left behind and it comes through loud and clear that you're not happy about it. Are you giving your husband grief over the move and future moves? You don't have to give up friendships. That's a defeatist attitude. You just need to learn a new skill or two. ;-) The art of making friends quickly. You still need social circles and time to do things you enjoy.
You do need to talk with him about where things are headed. The hospital thing shouts that he's pushing you away.
2007-09-12 17:43:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is feeling guilty about all that he has put you through, but like a lot of men, he is striking out at you because he loves you the most. Is he afraid about his health?
You need to go back to talk to him. Let him know that you love him and that what ever the problem is, you can work it out together.
You have only been married a short time and are still adjusting even if you lived with him before, things change once you are married.
You also need to look at your reactions to what has been going on. Have you been inadvertently punishing him because of the move?
You may need to seek some kind of couples counseling.
Good luck and GOD bless!
I will pray for you both.
2007-09-12 17:41:18 · answer #2 · answered by moonlight_is_harmonious_1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel bad for u but if ur making all the effort into the marriage then its time to leave, its a 2 way street when it comes to being married and just saying from expierence its over. might be 1 yr might be 15, but its not going to get any better because one persons selfish and rude. hey get out of there and i'm sure that someone out there would defenitley appriciate an effort in a relationship. i know cause i'm one of them.
2007-09-12 18:06:10 · answer #3 · answered by robert d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it could be a couple of reasons, you should tell him all that and see what he says. he may act like that cuz he feels like he let u & his son down by not being able to provide u with what u want, could be that he's cheating, a man gets selfish when cheating, and then the person that cares the more is the one to get hurt. i.d try to establish a social network where u r and maybe c about a job to have backup money
2007-09-12 17:37:16 · answer #4 · answered by pretty black 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and make a list of all the bad things that are happening and the good things. If the good out weight the bad then stay but if the bad out weight the good then it is itme to go. When writing the list remember your child.
2007-09-12 17:32:02 · answer #5 · answered by toyapooh03 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of prayer and a good marriage counselor. Go without him if he is not willing to go. God bless!
2007-09-12 17:33:28 · answer #6 · answered by I do 26.2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This would be the best time to move out....go be with your real family and raise your child in good company....
2007-09-12 17:32:54 · answer #7 · answered by thats me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya.. u hit the nail on the head..
his behavior is very obvious..
U never put in ALL THE EFFORT.. it is a marriage meaning 2 .. a couple..
you need to get a job and become independent in case he leaves u..
if it has got so bad u are thinking it..
chances are he is doing it.... !!!!!!!!!
2007-09-12 17:34:31 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ Blondie ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
pack your clothes and leave, no body deserves to be treated like that, what the hell is his problem, it sounds to me like he's got a good woman.
is he cheating? maybe you should do alittle investigating while he is in the hospital.
he don't deserve you.
2007-09-12 17:34:49 · answer #9 · answered by tabatha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your husband fair and square.
Tell him exactly what you are feeling.
Tell him you can't go on like this.
Seek counselling-by yourself if he's not willing.
2007-09-12 17:37:12 · answer #10 · answered by ocean_girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋