My husband says he doesn't love me anymore and wants a divorce. He wants to be free to see other women. We have a child together. I still love him even though he is a selfish jerk. Any advice out there? I am desperate at this point.
2007-09-12 16:55:46 · 20 answers · asked by wickedfreakinawesome 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he wants a divorce give it to him. Once a partner wants a divorce it can never be good. The problems are still there, why would you want to be with someone that doesn't want you. Find a better relationship and enjoy life, it is too short to waste it on someone that doesn't want you.
2007-09-12 17:02:20 · answer #1 · answered by 400lbtwins 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need to accept a couple of facts and then make some really hard decisions. He wants to be free to see other people means he's going to be sleeping around very soon if he isn't already. Ask him to please respect your feelings enough not to get involved with anyone yet. Don't bet on it happening but we'll hope that he's decent enough. Now take a week and let this sink in. I was numb and dumbstruck and I understand a lot of people feel this way at first. After a week or two decide what you want. If you want the divorce then agree and I'm sure he'll get things moving along. A divorce can always be stopped later. If you don't want the divorce.... I'm not sure what to tell you here. I can tell you not to beg him. That pushes them away and causes all sorts of self esteem problems later.
2007-09-12 17:24:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you need to do in order to get him back is become someone different then the the way you were.Men get bored very easy with the day to day routine. We wives lose ourselves in taking care of everything from the kids to cleaning to cooking our plates are so full that we sometimes forget about our husbands. We look at it this way if we cook for them iron their clothes have sex once or twice a week that's being a good wife and he should be happy with what he has and because he isn't complaining then he is OK. Then it starts you notice he isn't calling to let you know he will be working late or he has more meeting then before.He starts to go to happy hour with some of his co-workers and don't get in until 2:00 am knowing he will be getting up in 4 more hours. Sex stops completely and anything you say he turns it around on you.Does any of this sound familiar at all this is what happened to me and thousands of other women. My husband did move out and it killed me to see him leave for the last time but i had to let him go you can't make someone love you or stay with you if they want out. Husbands never ever leave without having another woman waiting for them.I worked on my husband the whole time he was gone,we had a son so that made it a lot easier because i knew he would be coming back to see him. It took me 21/2 years to get him away from her but i did it that was 10 years ago. We have been married a little over 28 years now and he has shown me everyday how sorry he is by what he did,he does it through his love. He came back to me because i became a stronger person more compassionate toward others.When your husband leaves you you have time to take a good long look at your life and things you did wrong and why your husband would turn to someone else. I took blame for my part in him leaving me,yes he was the one who cheated but i help in ways i didn't realize until it was to late.I'm sorry for the pain you are going through but it will make you a stronger person and that just might bring him back to you.
2007-09-12 18:34:42 · answer #3 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going to throw one of Ann Landers' and Dear Abby's age old remedies at you: you need a good marriage counselor and if your husband won't go, go without him.
You need to understand why you are in this relationship, how you got into it, and if you should try to hang on to it. Can't tell you that here because I don't know the whole story. For example, has he always been this way or is this just a recent thing? Is it the marriage he wants out of or is trying to bail on fatherhood also?
A good marriage counselor can help you look at things realistically and make the right decision. If he does walk and wants a divorce, they can help you transition.
The bottom line is this, if he decides to walk you are not going to stop him, but at least try to get him to go to the counselor first. At least then you'll know you tried your best.
2007-09-12 17:07:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did he ever give a reason that he was finished with you....Ever? Until now??? If so, Then maybe let him have it and move on... Get a life with your child and, sooner or later he may grow up.
divorce is a final step to ending a relationship... Make sure this is what you want.
If he is saying it's over, and wants to see other people... Honey let him go.... He's done with you.
2007-09-12 17:11:43 · answer #5 · answered by Petunia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I`m sorry to hear this.My dad told my mom he wants to divorce to a week ago.Poor her she is still in shock-they`ve been married for 25 years.
Anyway, this is what i think.If he is a man enough he should suck it up and stay togheder for the child.Even if you arwe not the perfect wife, or he isn`t the perfect husband, try to give it time.I do not believe in divorce-i do believe in freedom -NOT CHEATING-, i think that every problem can be solved but you have to work for it and not give up.
He vowed to be your husband until he dies so he should respect that.
Try to give him some time-i know the ideea of your husband dating other women is difficult even if he enjoys it-try talking to him .
Even if you 2 get along well after the divorce the kid will still be traumatized.He needs to stand next to his kid all the time and make him feel safe and loved.
I really wish you the best
2007-09-12 17:10:34 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Something in the wise old expression of holding a hand not a heart. He has given you no choice. Funny isn't it.Love can end when someone decides they don't love you. Comes out of left field sometime.
You have to let him go to try to hold him. Will hurt you more and delay your healing and moving on. It will be difficult since you share a child. But someone I loved once described it this way " I love my parents but was happier when they were not together. They were happier without each other."
Good luck
2007-09-12 17:16:50 · answer #7 · answered by Woman in Red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make someone love you if they don't. I know it is really really hard and your husband is being a selfish jerk when you have a child together but what are you going to do? I would let him go. Set him free. Maybe some time away will make him realize that he is wrong. I know you are hoping for some magical words but there aren't any. Hold your head up high and move on.
2007-09-12 17:04:46 · answer #8 · answered by Desiderata 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Let him have his divorce as its time to move on and if you try making him stay in that relationship, you'll regret it.
Next time find a male who isn't so selfish and don't be in a hurry, as this is when you pick the wrong person.
2007-09-12 17:22:40 · answer #9 · answered by Live_For_Today 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You realize everyone queefers, some during more inappropriate times than others. Although I have never heard of anyone divorcing over queefers. But, I assume if you had been eating queefers producing foods that you would be more apt at producing larger queefers that may have offensive odors. So allow your swallow husband his wish, there will be many other men who appreciate your queefers and love and respect you no matter the odor or the size of your queefers.
2016-05-18 02:58:28 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋