Not a question. Just felt like telling someone. He did call from his business trip yesterday and tell the kids to make me a card. So it's not that the date slipped his mind.
He waited to call home tonight until he knew I would be out of the house at a meeting.
No I didn't want a gift. No, I didn't get him anything or say anything to him.
It is just such a farce of a marriage. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I think he is afraid of me. I wish he had the balls to say "What is wrong? Why don't we speak? Why don't we have sex?"
But I think he is too afraid that I will tell him the truth. That I don't love him.
So we just continue with this dysfunctional dance. Me waiting for him to say something, him hoping it will all be o.k. as long as it is never spoken about.
Twisted, huh?
2007-09-12 16:28:30 · 13 answers · asked by candy'sroom 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To Beaches/Volley Uhmmm He didn't even say Hi. Never spoke to him today.
2007-09-12 16:33:26 · update #1
For the record, I am not withholding sex from him. He hasn't even mentioned it once in 2 years. When we did have sex it was 2-3 times per year. he's just not a very sexual person.
2007-09-12 16:37:06 · update #2
Yes, I did use to plan things. In our ten years he has never planned a single date. I'm not blaming him for our problems. they are OUR problems not mine or his.
2007-09-12 16:40:37 · update #3
Yeah, this is bad. I wonder how long you want to continue with this unhappiness. Take a good look at your life and ask yourself, do I want this forever?
2007-09-12 17:34:39 · answer #1 · answered by Sondra 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Just let go of all your anger. What is the problem? That you think he's inconsiderate? Just stop blaming and finding fault. Forgive him. I don't think it is so much that you don't love him, but you have become numb and shut him out. Ask yourself what part you have in this, honestly. And stop playing games. Stop waiting for him to say something, he doesn't know what you want! Talk to him, tell him what you want and how you feel and how you've put up this wall and you feel the love is dead. Tell him how you think it can be fixed. Give him a chance, and give him some sex! He just might open up a lot more after getting some. We tend to think, after the problems are fixed then we can have sex, but men's minds get clouded and don't function as well without that release. Suprise him by showing some affection and giving it up, then try tackling one of the issues you have with him. He MAY just apologize on his own. He probably feels that no matter what he does he can't please you, not so much that he is scared of you.
2007-09-12 23:55:10 · answer #2 · answered by im sure 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some people tend to think. That when there are personal problems in a marriage. As in lack of sex and all problems that have to do with it. It is do to the wife. When the reality is that many times it's do to the husband. Society sees men as the ones with high libidos that we can't keep up with. Any idiot can put it in once or twice and eja... They expect us to be all hot a ready. Though they don't bother to put much effort into getting us there. I have a bad marriage to. So I sympathize.
2007-09-12 23:47:20 · answer #3 · answered by Red Rose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like most of your problem is a lack of communication with lots of anger and hurt feelings built up as a result. More then likely he is waiting on you to make the first move, and you are waiting for him. Meanwhile your relationship keeps drifting further and further away from happy. Marriage counseling is about teaching couples to communicate so they can understand what the other needs and give it to them. It also teaches couples better ways to handle anger instead of holding it in or attacking with it. If you want to keep your family together and have something real again you should talk to your husband about therapy. Your insurance will probably pay for at least part, if not all of it.
2007-09-12 23:37:40 · answer #4 · answered by mafiosu 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, you sit there and blithely point the finger at him and let him carry all the blame (whether he's aware or not) but think....
What are YOU doing to help your marriage? Have YOU opened your mouth and asked the same questions you accuse him of being too insensitive to ask? Have YOU suggested that you just sit and talk? Have YOU suggested a night out or a weekend alone?
Please don't make an addendum and say, "Well, of course I did these things...he's unresponsive!" I don't buy it for a minute. If you TRULY care about your family, your man, and your marriage, you will FIGHT for what's important.
2007-09-12 23:37:38 · answer #5 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
So your mad at him and your witholding sex and affection...nice. Whos the bad guy here. You not in love with him because you do not try to love him. You my dear are in a rut and if you would stop looking for the adrenilin rush of first love, and respect the man and try to love him you would find he would not be so " afraid" of you. Yes its twisted to complain about someone if you make them miserable.
2007-09-12 23:34:50 · answer #6 · answered by Kelly A 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Could it be u both fell out of love years ago.. and continue the fa-sod??
both too insecure to leave..???
you been playing the game this hold.. hang in there.. if he want go to counseling there is no hope for it to ever turn around for u..
good luck..
2007-09-13 00:15:37 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ Blondie ♥ 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, just typical passive aggressive drama BS. Get yourself and your husband into counseling and learn to start talking to each other.
2007-09-12 23:34:43 · answer #8 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Love is a choice. You should do your best to make your marriage work. Stop being so selfish and give your love to your husband.
2007-09-12 23:34:45 · answer #9 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You need to think why you don't love your husband???? Did he do anything to you or is not that your love has fallen away????????? You ask yourself and you will find the answer.....
2007-09-12 23:34:28 · answer #10 · answered by Stephanie A. 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋