Ok, my husband and I were on our way home from a bday party tonight, and we were discussing intimacy... so I'm wanting to know whats your opinion of foreplay in the bedroom. What's your suggestions to making things more intimate and not duty-like, how can you get things a little spiced up romanticly with someone (not kinky) who was raised SO conservative?
Thanks...
2007-09-12 15:29:31 · 21 answers · asked by marcie1997 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
LOL Yeah I have the "romantic rock" LOL
There's not much room for creativity with my husband, very conservative, trying to get him out of the mindset that it's only for pro-creation. He's not one to do the little nothings, not a hallmark kinda man by ANY means. He says, "I show you I love you by going to work everyday"... We're a christian family, so I wouldnt do anythihng to offend him or degrade either one of us... thanks
2007-09-12 15:44:00 · update #1
The whole role playing thing...wont work with him...LOL I'm a nurse, he's a firefighter/paramedic, and TONS of our friends are cops... LOL Just doesnt do it for us lol
2007-09-12 15:46:43 · update #2
Remember that foreplay isnt neccesarily just physical play. sometmes just planting a sead of thought in the morning before work and then calling or writing to water that sead in the after noon will make good foreplay. reminding him all day that you want special time with him might really excite you both. Also mayb you could try doing something everyday in a fun way like you could cook in nothing but your apron, or you could use the self timer on your camera and print some tasteful photos of yourself in your panties, and then put them in his lunch bag in place of desert, so when he goes to lunch he want to come home to you instead. :) you dont have to preverse to spice things up. Finally you should point out thatsex was a gift from God. He meant for us to enjoy it not feel dirty about it with in the confines of marriage. God expects us to enjoy one anothers bodies.
2007-09-12 16:06:40 · answer #1 · answered by specialmama 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't think you're going to get very far with your husband. His attitude is somewhere between Neanderthal, and Cro-Magnon. I think the best you're going to do is to set a quiet intimate mood one night, and just be in each others arms. a little stroke here, a caress there. Show him what feels good to you, and find out what does it for him. Experiment with your hands, and don't worry about toys or other stuff. Talk softly and intimately with him, and learn his boundaries. then enjoy yourself inside them. Once in a while see if those boundaries can be stretched a little but don't get hurt if he says no.
My general opinion of foreplay is that I'm all for it. In fact I think it's sometimes the best part of an intimate encounter. Any man that skips foreplay and just does his duty so to speak is missing out on one of the great joys of life. Not to mention he's not fulfilling his wife's needs either.
Being a Christian Conservative doesn't mean you have to be a boorish old prude. Family values is supposed to be a hallmark of Christian Conservatism. A family is only as strong as the couple who heads the family. And if their intimate lives is not fulfilling to either one, that family is on shaky ground at least.
Tell your man to lighten up. Hew can still hold to conservative values, and take care of you at the same time.
2007-09-12 18:34:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To have some foreplay it doesn't have to be offensive. There are many tactics that can be implemented. Like a mutual hot oil massage, it is very erotic, yet not offensive. A nice bubble bath together is not only romantic, but very arousing. Have you ever let you hubby put a little bit of honey on your body so he can then lick it slowly. Whip-cream and strawberries are also good. A powered massager is very erotic and yet not offensive.
2007-09-12 16:04:59 · answer #3 · answered by Ricardo R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't give you an exact answer, because I don't know either of you. But I can tell you this: Something that would be SPECIAL for him!
If it's music or a special dinner or a trip to a concert or movie. Those little things can make or break the moment. Be observant to reactions.
That's the differance between having sex and making love! Good luck!
2007-09-12 15:39:52 · answer #4 · answered by SARswimmer95 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is conservative in this area, then i think you might just have to take initiative. You could try to spice things up with a sensual massage of enjoy a dip in the bath together. I personally enjoy foreplay more then sex sometimes so its really important. Keeping things fresh in the bedroom also helps to improve your overall relationship.
2007-09-12 15:34:55 · answer #5 · answered by crofton 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
find out what turns each other on. Yes that means talking. Try candles, lotions, or start out with a simple body rub down. try taking a shower together. just because you're conservative don't mean that you can't be open with each other. your married and know each other the best. Read this book "tickle his pickle". It helped me alot to open up with my husband.
2007-09-12 15:37:06 · answer #6 · answered by bengalchick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be open to new things and have fun with it. My Man always puts a rose on my pillow before I go to bed and when I wake up in the mornings. It's simple but I just love it. He is so sweet and caring and it means the world to me.
2007-09-12 15:35:22 · answer #7 · answered by Jai 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go get some toys and roleplay. Play doctor and patient. That is fun. It doesn't matter if you were raised conservative. Just have fun. It all stays in your bedroom anyway. Next time you are driving home from somewhere, lean over and tell him
"I don't have on any panties."
2007-09-12 15:33:25 · answer #8 · answered by Julie H 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i don't know about the toys and porn..seems to me if he is conservative that may be overwhelming...try some things you have there in the privacy of your own home...wine and oils...oh and candles...that will loosen him up and tell him what you want ...not too aggressive though...or better yet show him where to touch/kiss...he may be better of just doing it with out being told what to do....actions speak louder than words!
2007-09-12 15:47:34 · answer #9 · answered by tiffany 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry, but i just can't do foreplay, it's not in me. i want to get to it and forget about all the rest. i like it aggressive and not very romantic. i know i'm a woman and i'm upposed to want all thatother stuff but i just don't. and even when my husband starts with a little foreplay, i'll go along for a minute and then i just tell him to give it up or get off. he's like...ok ok, i know. he don't care, he's about as romantic as a rock anyway, and i tell him that so i guess we work together pretty good.
2007-09-12 15:36:01 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋