How TRUTHFUL are we of ourselves with the FRIENDS we make in CYBERSPACE?

Question

What keeps a person true and honest when it is so easy to lie and deceive here? How much of the virtue of truthfulness do we uphold when we know that no one would know any better if we tempt a deception?

"Perhaps nobody yet has been truthful enough about what 'truthfulness' is." - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Care to share?

p/s – forgive my capitalization, a la Enki. I simply miss seeing his questions here.

Thank you, all, for coming to answer this question of mine. I appreciate the honesty in each your answers and your thoughts have given me much to think about these past few days.

Anonymity does offer a myriad of approaches that one would take in portraying themselves to the people they “meet” here. One could be anything they wish to be, unhampered by the limitations that bind us in the physical world.

But surprisingly, as our brother SinTM here has revealed, many would rather present themselves just as they are. Sometimes, I truly wonder if in fact, we become MORE of ourselves here, and that the anonymity factor of the internet simply brings out the best in us, where we are able to become who we truly are.

I came to realize this when an ex-colleague of mine, whom I remember to be very shy and soft-spoken, wrote me an email after she has left. What had surprised me was not the fact that she has written, but because she seemed to be a more blossomed version of the person that she had been, sitting quietly and almost mouse-like, beside me at the office. She wrote brilliantly and was absolutely amusing in her new stories, in a way I had never thought she could be when she was here physically.

So what does that mean? Hence, my question.

Don H – thank you for dropping in, I am truly honored. Everyone, meet Don H, our own Top Philosopher…

Praire Crone – Does the truth have to be that painful? I believe it becomes painful if we have things to hide, maybe.

Polly – Thank you. Is it because one lie often leads to another, and in the end, we’ll have trouble keeping up with all the lies we’ve told? Is that what you’re saying? How true. Much simpler to just be ourselves that to have to keep up the persona that we have created.

Valac Gypsy – Well I’m glad Enki’s back with us now. And yes, we do seem to be more truthful here, don’t we? It’s the anonymity factor at work, I guess.

Jach – thank you. You are a “baik” friend too. You accept your friends however they present themselves to you…Thanks for sharing.

I truly appreciate all your answers for me. Thank you so much for your time.

Until my next...

Answer 1

At first glance, the anonymity of the internet provides us a clean slate and opportunities for friendships that wouldn't normally exist in the structure of our real lives.

In a 2007 study of the effects of motivation in online chatting, it was concluded that our motivations play a significant part of why, how much, how deep, and how honest we are in our self-disclosures.

There are three main types of motivations in online use when interacting with others: Relationship, Entertainment, and Information. (You'll find varying degrees of all three types here on Y!A). The scales of self-disclosure (Intent, Amount, Depth, Negative-Positive, HONESTY-ACCURACY) varied by motivation.

What's interesting though is that HONESTY-ACCURACY still ranked highest amongst the scales for users regardless of motivation. This suggests that although the Why, How Much , and the Positive-Negative aspects we tell of ourselves can vary depending on our motivations, the fact that we are still honest and accurate about who are are (despite the anonymity) remains. In answer to your original question of how truthful we are of ourselves with the friends we make in cyberspace, I can only say VERY.

By the way, there's a functional theory out there that suggests people use self-disclosure for strategic purposes. I find this to be true, also. People who use the net to form relationships or friendships have a greater need to convey positive impressions of themselves than do people who use the net for information.

What keeps a person true and honest, Shah? Our selves.

"Being a different person might be hard, but taking on a different name is a cinch.". Who said that? LOL.

Answer 2

Hi,
Some great answers to a great question. Truthfully, we could be anyone on here. We could even be a number of different characters if we so desired, each one having their own persona. Could get really inventive! This wouldn't appeal to me though. I haven't got the time!
Also it's my philosophy to be TRUTHFUL. I hate lies and deception. They cause too much pain, hurt, misunderstanding. The weird thing is because of this, I tend to notice when people contradict themselves and aren't the person they previously made themselves out to be.
It would be easy to lie and deceive here but why? Some might find this appealing or it may fit in with whatever game they are playing so really, everyone will have their own personal answer to your question.
As to me, I am always truthful. As it is, my daughters know I am here (since one of them got me onto this site). I still keep my anonymity with the cyber world but I'm honest with it. I have to set a good example and if I lied (which I never would) my family wouldn't let me get away with it. Because they've been brought up to tell the truth!!!
Polly

Answer 3

As for myself, I am truthful, to an extent. If its sharing something I know, somewhere I've been, in other words, inconsequential things, there is no reason for me to lie about it. I'd only rake myself over the coals if I did.
As far as my personal life, I can't say I've ever lied, but I have side-stepped the truth. No, not a little white lie, more a lie of omission. I feel great...I'm doing fine....I'm lying, but since I don't really know you, don't talk with you face to face, why should I lay ill health or personal problems on you?
The only thing that keeps a person "true and honest" as you ask it, is the person themselves. Its oh so very easy to be more here, in nowhere land. Its so easy to be young, beautiful, wealthy, smart, self-assured, etc, somewhere that you don't have to look at the people you speak to, and can go back and review over again the things you've said before. Especially when your concrete life is so fraught with insecutiry, strife, worry, defeat, all the small negatives that happen daily. I guess, for some, its nice to be here so they can be what they have always wanted to be........

Answer 4

Does being truthful necessarily mean "putting your worst foot" forward? (By the way, I'm an astronaut and work for the CIA) ...just kidding

-edit- yeah, i agree with some of what others wrote also. I think I stay fairly ambiguous, but mostly because my problems would bore people. You don't want to know my car is a constant source of grief or whatever... other than that, I don't try to represent myself as being someone I'm not.

-another edit- also, does getting in the habit of being truthful force you to develop a conscience? You might be less tempted if you'll have to lie in the future, you know?

Answer 5

I don't usually open up details of my life to everyone here, but I don't feel that is being deceptive. If it's appropriate, I'm not shy about telling people that I'm married a grandmother, and a bit overweight. Most of the time though, they're probably not even interested in hearing about it. If I want to talk about something quite personal that gets under my skin, I am often somewhat vague.
I miss Enki too.

Answer 6

"Truthful" or "Factual" ? (Marshall ?)
Well, Our Yahoo "Cyberspace Theatre Of Forms" Bids You
Welcome - How Many Names Are You ?
Here We Remain Actors & Actresses Of The
"Fascinating... penned with an obvious Addiction to the Delicious little Details of History Whimsical, Outrageous and [Whatever With permission SVP]"
Washington Post on the Front Cover of:
A Brief History of The Boxer Rebellion - @ Diana Preston
1999, 2000, 2002
Constable & Robinson Ltd
3 The Lanchesters
162 Fulham Palace Road
London W6 9ER

Diana P. " To my Husband,
Michael"

Answer 7

True as it may seem, cyberspace is one huge portal filled with cyber stuff for hungry cybersouls. Everything in all parts of the world could be found here: Reasons and effects, views and interests, thoughts and beliefs, questions and answers,... and even 'friends'...cyberfriends.
The question of how true we are with the people we meet here in this half-real, word-dependent framed space who have somehow allowed us to make friends with, is a stimulating one. We could be true, or could be not, or just partly true, but does it really matter? Could we not just rest in the thought that we've come this close to strangers we never really knew before?..And in whose coded aliases we've found wisdom and pleasure expressing ourselves with?
I can truly say I'm a friend even with my personal identity all sealed in privacy. I can assure a helping hand to the best I could when needed even with my data all intact in mystery. And it won't matter who you are, or where you've come from, or what you've been through,..as long as you're a friend, then I'm a friend to you.

Answer 8

I very much suspect we are far more truthful here than elsewhere. If someone doesn't like who we are, or is critical, we can snuff them out like a candle. I've made wonderful friends with whom I email, & I can tell at once if they're sincere. They usually are. I believe that the only times I speak of personal experiences is when I feel they will give a perspective, or better understanding to someone with a problem. I also give my source, that is, my profession, when the credibility of my experience is relevant.
There's nothing to forgive about your capitalization; many of us miss Enki. & it still makes me sad that people sometimes answered only to be critical of his use of caps. I was just going to look at his 360 to see if he entered a new blog...
Personally, I see no point in being less than truthful--there's nothing to gain if one pretends they're someone they're not, & nothing to lose, either--except--integrity?

Answer 9

I don't know if I think of myself here in terms of how honest I am, it's more that I see myself as being rather 2 dimensional here, by virtue of the limiting medium. Consequently I don't take things very seriously and am liable to say things I don't really mean, sometimes, just for humourous effect or sometimes just off the cuff carelessness.

Answer 10

Perhaps not at all, as a rule. I'm lucky enough to have found myself exchanging emails on a daily basis with a number of people all over the U.S.

We've been doing it for several years, and while it all started because we had the same political leanings, we've become very good friends and share all the important -- and silly -- things in our lives. I consider them all my best friends.