He works night shift and I work day shift, it seems like all he ever does is sleep. And if he does wake up he is in such a grumpy mood. We end up agruing and fighting in front of my four year old daughter and he goes into the bedroom and goes back to sleep. I don't know how to fix this situation. And to make matters worse, I'm eight months pregnant with his first child. I don't want to be misrible anymore but don't really know how to communicate with my husband. And don't want to live in an divided household.
2007-09-12 14:28:02 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
me and my wife started out that way, me on first shift and her on second. We worked it out, if you guys love each other like i know you should only being married for a short time, things just seem to work out, the biggest key to marrage is talking to each other, good, bad, when your happy and when your not. You guys are married now so the games have to stop. He needs you and you need him, If notheing ealse you have to tell him the problem.
2007-09-12 14:43:19 · answer #1 · answered by zip 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're in that adjustment period of your marriage so I wouldn't worry too much. On top of that, you're pregnant and you may just be sensitive as well. As for him, he's either just very tired or scared that he's going to be a father and he's no longer going to have as much attention from you. This is normal for new fathers to feel this way.
Just give each other space first. I do suggest that since you are both busy at work to put a side one day a week just for the family to spend time together. If you feel like you can't communicate with him without ending up in having an argument, I suggest for you to write him a letter. Don't put blames on the letter but instead, you say something like when we fight it hurts my feelings and I wish we could communicate better.
I wish you luck and I'm sure things will be okay.
2007-09-12 14:54:04 · answer #2 · answered by ods 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This while relationship is rocky, and I am guessing it will get worse -- not better. U R so young yet and have your entire life in front of U. It is very hard an a girl to be taken away from her family and friends, If U get pregnant U will miss your mom. Without sounding too harsh I would not recommend what U R about to do. U will be stuck with an immature boy on a military base. It will be like prison for U. With all that swearing he does not respect U as a person. I would never want to see one of my daughters in the situation U R getting ready to put yourself into. Too bad U got married so young. Your only chance at happiness is if he changes, and sad to say human beings rarely do. Good luck.
2016-05-18 01:48:52 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's always difficult when you first get married and start living together you both are used to things being the way that you liked when you lived alone and then to top it off your hormones are probably off the charts and that doesn't help. my husband and i will be married 30 years in june knew each other less than a month when we got married. for 10 years we both worked different shifts but isay thats why we stayed together so long because if we together to much we fought. give it some time it takes work and patience and lots of love to make a marriage work. good luck and don't give up
2007-09-12 14:42:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the real world. Your husband is grumpy because he is tired. People are not made to stay up working all night. I have been married for 24 years. We worked different shifts many times, and for many years. (He got grumpy too.) Try to do things to make his life easier. Let him sleep. Try talking about pleasant things when he is rested. Leave him notes that express your love for him. I know all of that sounds old fashioned and mushy, but believe me, it works. Being pregnant causes all kinds of hormonal changes that can affect your emotions, which makes things harder for you. Try finding a friend to "dump on" when you need to. Let your husband know how much you appreciate the sacrifices he is making for your family.
You will always have conflicts and problems, but I can tell you that after being through all the things we have been through together, our bond has become very strong. Hang in there, it's worth it!
2007-09-12 14:44:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he works a different shift it is very hard b/c you guys are sleeping at different hours of the day. About 7-8 hrs should be all of the sleep he needs. You two need to take a night on the weekends to yourself to get back on track. Talk about the week, upcoming baby, just have a Date Night once/week.
2007-09-12 14:33:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know its a difficult situation for the both of you... it needs a lot of adjustment, understanding and compromise... obviously your husband needs some sleep because he works on night time... when you are free on the daytime and your husband needs rest, let him be... but if you want to spend time with him, do it in a nice way like cuddle with him on the bed... be loving and not demanding.. if you have a hard time communicating, then try to communicate through body language... be sweet and caring around him and let him know how much you appreciate him... im sure you can work this out... just be patient and believe in your relationship. if you truly love him, then you will stick and try to stay put even when trials arise.
2007-09-12 15:08:17 · answer #7 · answered by brazenlove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why didn't you learn how to communicate with your husband BEFORE you got pregnant and BEFORE you got married? It's obvious you didn't communicate much BEFORE you became sexually involved with this guy and you probably didn't even know him all that well and to top it off you've involved your daughter in this mess. From the sound of it neither one of you are mature enough for marriage and yet you're bringing innocent children into this mess. You both need to grow up and act like adults rather than spoiled brats.
2007-09-12 15:22:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get used to it if you are going to stay together. It will get worse before it gets any better, because you are in the first stages of learning all about each other, for better or worse. And think of this, is this something you can live with and will laugh about later?
2007-09-12 14:33:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
everything changes after marriage. and it takes allot of hard work to make it work, by both people. sounds to see like your going threw allot rite now. and it should be the happiest time of both of your life's. but sometime marriages have to be rocky before they get better. remember you have to take the good with the bad.
maybe his job is stressing him out. and maybe your nagging to much, pregnant woman do that. just let him be he'll come around. but also let him know you need him.
good luck
2007-09-12 14:46:19 · answer #10 · answered by tabatha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋