How do you respond if things in life just seem to go downhill?

Question

This summer has been one of the hardest time in my life. Lonely. Disappointment. Confusion. Sadness. It's too much. And at times, it feels like no one really cares either. And I'm not talking about significant relationships...I'm talking about the hardest parts in life. Things I don't understand. How am I supposed to respond?

Act like everything is ok and be cheerful? I'm generally happy on the outside, but deep down in, my heart sometimes breaks. No one really knows what I go through and yet they ocassionally take advantage of me. How are you supposed to respond when life is just not in favor of you?

Answer 1

Life may seem bleak at the moment and it's clear things feel unbearable for you right now, but it's important to realise you do have options and you don't need to go through this on your own.

By talking about how you feel, and identifying the issues that are making you feel so bad, such as the loss of confidence and self-esteem, or the paranoia you describe, you may find yourself moving on from feeling suicidal. Or, you could consider seeking some form of support, to help you look at your situation and the things that are making you question your life. It can often help to look at the underlying issues that cause these difficult feelings.

When people feel as low as you describe, it can be hard to see things in life as anything but negative. Especially when you say your personality has changed so dramatically over the last couple of years, from being outgoing and popular to feeling shy and withdrawn.

You say your mum has said you are weird, and feeling misunderstood can be very frustrating. But, unfortunately, not everyone knows how to help someone who is feeling so low, or people may not even realise because they are so distracted by their own lives. But this doesn't necessarily mean they don't care. Talking to someone you know may help them understand you better, enabling them to support you more effectively.

If speaking to friends or relatives doesn't seem like an option for you at the moment you can speak to someone about how you feel, without judgement and in confidence by calling SANELINE on 0845 767 8000. Or you might like to consider calling Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90, if you're not ready to speak to anyone yet you can email them on [e-mail].

It might be worth considering speaking to your local doctor (GP). Suicide, for some, may seem like the only option. But given time and the right support to explore your situation and feelings, a treatable issue may well be uncovered. For example, feelings of despair, sadness, low self esteem or panic could be indicators of an underlying condition such as anxiety or depression. Such symptoms could be relieved through medication or a form of talking therapy, helping you to focus on what is making you feel so low and ease some of the pressure. Your GP will be able to advise you of the options available and help you seek the right form of treatment or support.

Answer 2

No. Then again, we waited to have sex until our wedding night... But the only time (so far) that it has slowed down was when we bought our first house. The house was a dump when we moved in & we were constantly busy & exhausted working on it. But everything is fine now. Maybe you should try showing her love in other ways. I personally *can not* function like that if the house is messy. Maybe I have OCD or something, but if there is stuff on the dresser or the hamper is full, it's all I can think about. Maybe she just feels like there are a million things that need to be done & she can't relax. Be proud that she's your wife when you go out. Open doors for her, hold her hand, kiss her forehead, etc. Make her feel special. Don't make her feel like the only thing she's good for is pleasuring you. Sex doesn't begin the minute you come together... It's an all day thing. Showing her you love her all day (which helps if you really, really do).

Answer 3

Im sorry to hear that things havent been going well for you lately but theres always a bright side to things. I suppose you really just have to suck it up and be cheerful. I mean theres really no way out of life so ... might as well live it happily. I know how it feels to feel that no one cares and things just arent going right but i always tell myself that it is going to get better and that i just have to wait it out. Life isnt always fun and full of joy, if you dont experience some down time then how will you know what happiness is.. right? When things do turn around for the better then youll be really happy and enjoy life again! Good Luck !!! Just try not to think about the bad things but the good things in life =D

Answer 4

First, know that you are not alone. Even though I'm sure it seems like it, there is nothing that you are going through that millions of others haven't already gone through since the beginning of time. Seriously. Sometimes it helps to know that other people have hard times.

Second, you don't have to be "up" and "happy" all the time. We're living in a very superficial era culturally right now... everybody has to look good and feel good all the time (hence so many people are on anti-depression meds). If there are days when you just say "I'm over it!" then so what. You're entitled. Don't beat yourself up for having normal emotions and reactions to life's stressors.

Third, I believe in taking as much control of a situation as reasonably possible. I stress 'reasonably'. If you are surrounded by an environment and people that make you unhappy and you can limit your time in that environment and/or with those people then do so. Life is short. Don't sit and wallow in something when you don't have to.

Fourth, talk to people you are close to and trust. If people like that are not abundant in your life, then go get yourself a counselor. All a clinically trained counselor is going to do is sit and listen to you -- give you time to vent and get stuff off your chest -- and possibly help you with behaviour patterns in thinking and acting. A counselor might be able to get you to see a problem from a different perspective... they may be able to help you dissect it and possibly diffuse it so you can better handle it. Don't ever be ashamed to seek out counseling when necessary. Check your healthcare coverage or if you're still in high school or college look for anonymous counselors in your area through a google search or something. People are out there to help you.

Fifth and finally (lol), while people may not change so much, circumstances change all the time. Sometimes they change with little to no effort on our parts or sometimes we need to get up and make a change ourselves. Most things in life are constantly moving and changing... shifting. Things may seem bad now, but eventually through your efforts and others' things will change. Like Scarlett O'Harra said in "Gone With the Wind" "after all, tomorrow is another day."

Good luck, my dear.

www.elderwisdomcircle.com

Answer 5

Often times it is those moments of suffering where the most strength is required, where the most testing of self and the opportunity to truly work on yourself, I mean the shadows that remain hidden until the reversal, cyclic nature of life makes it like a negative photo and shadows become those areas which stand out. The negative invokes consciousness, when everything is going your way, then you are mechanical. Their is strength in perseverance, you can't fail the negative, YOU CAN'T as long as you try. For you must understand, my Christian friend, that it is not the event in ones life that causes suffering but rather your approach and understanding of it, that does. This is what separates the children from men/women.

What was said in acts? "Through many tribulations one enters the kingdom!"

What doesn't kill you can only make you stronger. What did Jobs example show? That there are laws which are cyclic and every polarity be it negative or positive invokes its polarity.

Answer 6

I would let things go downhill, because the lower you go the higher the chance that you will go back up. It does get dangerous sometimes when you go too far down, but many get out of it.

In my case, my pessimism was the main reason that kept me locked in my cage. I wanted to fly and be free, but at the same time I thought it would be useless. However, as time went by, things got better. It took me two years that felt like twice as long.

My history teacher once said to me when I confessed to him that my life wasn't so good lately. "Life is like a wave... If you're at the bottom, then you'll be most likely to go up again. Don't worry, you're going to be heading the good way." I don't always go by his saying, but it is true sometimes.

There is also one important thing to know. If you have problems, the only one who can solve them is you. People who help you simply support you, and you can't expect for an Angel to come by and "save your life". When my boyfriend first taught me that, I thought it was harsh. But now I know what it means and that it's true.

Things like this take time to improve. I got over it with my own strength, so I bet you can! Good luck.

Answer 7

I know what you're going through, I've been down that road myself. The trick is to tell yourself that you are in control, and believe it too because it's true. It doesn't matter how you act on the outside as long as you remind yourself inside that you are in control of it all. These things you speak of are within your grasp. You can either crush them or let them loose. No matter what happens, you always have that choice. Besides, time heals all wounds. You will never encounter a problem that is permanent. Even when it feels overwhelming you are still in control because your troubles are only a bump in the road. You have control, choice, and time on your side.

Answer 8

You sound like a couple of years ago. What helped me was a book a professor recommended to me. The book is called "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway" by Susan Jeffers. It is really a good book on the outlook of your own life and a way to change your thinking. I found the book very helpful.
Hope the book helps.

Answer 9

The same thing has been happening to me lately.. I feel like I'm falling back to my old state of depression-after all of that hard work, too.

Usually I just take a long shower, drink some warm tea.. And just think. I try to think my way out of it.

If I really need to I try to find someone online to talk to [real life friends don't help that much usually.]

Answer 10

Stand aside and allow the "bad times" to move on through.
The world is cyclic, if you "jump up and down" about the bad times and swoon in the good times, this is not seeing all "things" as equal.
All times are equal, you can not know joy if you haven't experienced sorrow.
Roll with the "punches"
You will move through it more easefully.
Allow all matters to pass, good or bad
Be, do not be an act.
Be real, but know all things pass, the "good" and the "bad"
And this is the same for all people,
that is why we can not judge.
It is the wheel of fortune in play.

With our wounds come wisdom

Answer 11

I think that has happened to me... What I did was, I prayed.. Asked God for help, and guidance... I know He has something good for me... Life is a cycle.. And remeber the old but true saying, "sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down. But when you're down, you can always look up and hope . And when you're already up, you will have that great feeling of accomplishment because you made it through even when you were down."

Good luck and God Bless! :-)