okay here is my story. I am a newlywed and i love my husband with all my heart. Before me and my husband got together i was seeing this guy for about 4 years(it was never serious because he had a girlfriend) anyways i completely stopped talking to him and everything,avoiding his calls, and tryed to avoid seeing him all together--wellllllllll the other day i bumped into him and his old lady and of course we meet eyes for a hot minute. Now he is all i think about---and i do not want to call him because i love my husband. But on the other hand i want to talk to him just to talk!!!What do I do?is this a normal feeling??and please no mean answers i know it is wrong that he has a girl-so do not waste time judging me--i just need advice on what to do--i am so confused??i love my husband but still i am think about this other man------please help??????
2007-09-12 13:51:48 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if you really loved your husband you wouldn't be wondering what to do!!
2007-09-12 13:59:31 · answer #1 · answered by *mRs.GaBrIeL* 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't go there if I was you. Why would you want to complicate your life right now? You are a newlywed. Sometimes to run away from your temptations is the best medicine. Try not to think about him. I would recommend you to at least give your marriage some time. If for some reason it doesn't work out then you can look for this guy. Think about it. If you truly love your husband, do not call this guy.
2007-09-12 14:08:19 · answer #2 · answered by Ricardo R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its a normal feeling that will go away because you love your husband and know that you would be making a mistake.
Don't call him, just let it be.
Even though you "just want to talk" you know your playing with fire so cut it out. :)
No judging you, your normal but if you call him your just asking for trouble so stay away.
Nothing to be confused about,
You knew this guy and for good reasons things didn't work out. You stopped calling and talking to him and that was a good thing.
You have a husband that will love you for the rest of your life.
Get over the guy you aren't with and for heavens sake you hold your husband tight tonight and tell him how much you love him.
Again, you know you want more than to just talk so stop kidding yourself... Go take a cold shower and get ready to spend some time with your husband.
2007-09-12 14:03:38 · answer #3 · answered by nelppik 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Listen to yourself, seeing him for 4 years but it was never serious because he had a Girlfriend.
He was never serious about you and you were the second string on his bow.
Now he sees you with your Husband, do you think he will ever consider you as anything else if you try to pursue this relationship.
Maybe he has feelings for you but is keeping these to himself to avoid complicating the situation, and so should you.
You have a Husband whom you love, and he loves you.
Cherish and grow THIS relationship that you have, not follow some dream that will turn into a nightmare resulting in hurt to at least you and your Husband.
It's time to get on with your life, if the relationship never grew before, it's not going to now. He was a phase in your life which is now passed, forget about him.
2007-09-12 14:22:11 · answer #4 · answered by Frogman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him be. Let the past stay in the past. You could be starting trouble. Don't forget you are married now and he has a girlfriend. He was no good then because he had a girlfriend and you stopped talking to him. Sometimes we wonder what if, but don't try to find out now. How would you feel if you found out your husband talked to someone from his past that he has a crush on?
2007-09-12 14:14:40 · answer #5 · answered by moonchild 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have to put it OUT of your mind, you are thinking of a memory[feeling] -It will pass, my dear. Do something special for your Man at home, That you will never forget. Cherish your moments NOW. You and your husband may be close to some Big Good thing happening. I do not want the wrong chose to ruin your life. One time , I experinced something similiar----you know what??---It was 't that great after all-it was just a made up memory
2007-09-12 14:05:19 · answer #6 · answered by tree dancer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say you love your husband? Than let this crap go. You know the Right thing and will not find support here to get with this Ex what ever he was.
Would you like it if your man did this to you?
If No, Let it Go.
2007-09-13 03:52:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want to talk to this other guy because he used you for sex?
Why?
Why take the risk what if he wants to talk to you but his motives are a piece of *ss, what will you do?
Do you have it in you to tell him no thanks or is he one of these guys that you can't seem to resist?
My personal opinion is that it is not worth the heart ache that my husband would feel if he found out and the trust would be out the window.
Do you really want that kind of drama in your marriage already?
Do you even need it?
2007-09-12 14:57:51 · answer #8 · answered by Emptiness 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here you are lucky enough to find a man worthy of marrying, someone who actually was willing to marry you and devote his entire life to you..something this other guy was never willing to do and you have to think about it?
Every time this other guy pops into your head think about all of the things your husband is willing to do that this guy would never do!! You were always this other guys second and you want to risk being number one for him??
2007-09-12 14:02:48 · answer #9 · answered by Nickname123 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the feeling is because of perceived "unfinished business"... turn it around... that business was indeed finished. Please remind yourself that you will be re-playing the same old scene with him + extra backlash possibilities in the form of damaging your young and tender marriage.
He didn't leave his current wife to be with you back then, and he will not now... they never do. He clearly didn't respect you or her. Why would you sell yourself short to hang out with this groady old goat?
I would suggest channeling all this "hotness" into your own marriage.
2007-09-12 14:21:15 · answer #10 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're just wondering about what you can't have.
It's like cold feet before the wedding,,,but it's AFTER the wedding.
Leave him alone and just stop torturing yourself. Think about the present...Find something to keep you busy.
Remind yourself WHY you chose your hubby instead of the EX.
Good Luck!!
2007-09-12 14:07:05 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋