I am in a situation and I don't know what to do. I have been with my kids father for 6 years, and we have two kids together. He constantly accuses me of cheating, every man that comes around me, he thinks I want them. I am so miserable, he never wants me to go anywhere, he calls me 20 times and hour. Everywhere I go, he thinks I am going to meet a man or find a man. There have been times that I have told him that I will leave him and find someone else. But I feel like I don't have the strength, I don't have any family or anywhere else to go. The good things about him is that he works, he makes good money, he help me with the bills, and he take care of his kids. But he makes me feel like crap. He always call me a b*tch and he makes me feel really low. I am tired of being unhappy and miserable, but on the other hand I stay because we been together for so long and we have two beautiful little boys together. But I don't have any freedom. Can someone please give me some advice?
2007-09-12 13:04:37 · 12 answers · asked by Ms. C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like he comes from a very controlling back ground and one or both parent cheated on each other.It comes from somewhere he just didn't wake up one day and he was like he is.Not trusting women means one or two things,first his mother or aunt some female he was around while growing up cheated and he saw this and it interfered with his emotional growth and as a result he became what he is. Or second he is the one who is cheating and he thinks you are doing what he is. It's not right what he is doing to you ,you know what they say if you are being accused of something you are not doing you might as well go ahead and do it and have fun.
2007-09-12 13:47:09 · answer #1 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should leave, no doubt. Thats great that you have beautiful children and all but think about what they are learning from you staying? You are worried about money... thats what alimony is for.
And one of the others who responded said that maybe your husband is the one cheating....... People with a guilty conscience blame everybody else for the things that they themselves do wrong. Any man can work and make good money. Money should never be your reason for staying. Be strong and put your children and yourself in a better situation. You shouldn't feel like crap, love is not supposed to hurt or make you feel low. He has you on the same level as the kids, keeping such a watchful eye on you. Then he has the nerve to disrespect you, the mother of his children, the woman he says he loves and call you out of your name?! That is not a term of endearment!!! Leave that jerk and don't look back like Lot's wife in the Bible. If all goes right, he can see them every other weekend and you can get your child support and alimony check. Let that jerk go be by himself like he wants or else he wouldn't be pushing you away with his crazy accusations. He only does that because he knows that you are a good woman and knows that someone can and will take better care of you than what he is doing. Its hard but be a strong woman and do the whats right for you and those kids. Pray about it and I wish you the best.
2007-09-12 20:31:42 · answer #2 · answered by Lil Momma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ring a woman's shelter , then your local social security office and arrange an income and food stamps or what ever the situation is in your town , put in a claim for child support from him , the shelter will help you with this.
You have 2 beautiful little boys , if you want them to stay that way and not grow up to be abusive like their dad then you'll do the best by them by getting them the heck out of there , it doesnt matter how much money a man makes its how he respects , loves and devote's his time to his wife and children (vice versa on the woman too) , seriously do you want your sons growing up to hate you because you stayed and put them through this? NO , so do it and do it now.
Thing's will be hard financially but at least your boys stand a better chance of growing up to be respectable caring loving young men , and get a restraining order on your husband right away so if he does come after you the police can teach him a lesson real quick , and dont go back to him.
You love your sons? well prove it , save them.
2007-09-12 20:26:28 · answer #3 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You deserve someone that will treat you right,and you really need to take a step back at your own self worth. Life is way too short to be with anyone like that. And just think how your kids will turn out later in years hearing there father disrespect you like that? I know from experience that usually the one who accuses you of cheating all the time is usually guilty of it themselves. As far as you not having anywhere to go, dont worry about it. Get with a social worker and get on assistance and dump that loser. If you stay with him you will only have regrets. But, all the time that you have been wasting on him you could have already found someone else that is grown up enough to handle a relationship.
2007-09-12 20:24:07 · answer #4 · answered by jack_black_91 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you leave. Your beautiful little boys have to know that it isn't OK to treat mommy like that. He's a control freak, and very insecure. this isn't your problem to fix, it's his. He's out of control. This is having an impact on your boys, weather you see it or not. Sooner or later, they will develop the same habits, and treat you the same, not to mention their future girlfriends/wives. Your boys need to be taught to respect a woman, and what they are seeing from their father is control and disrespect. Leave, make a plan, and leave. He is obsessed and it is emotional abuse for you and your kids.
2007-09-12 20:17:37 · answer #5 · answered by jezuzgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Leave. If you have no place to go, and no one to stay with, try a homeless shelter, or stay at a hotel. There is no reason to live like that. That is emotional abuse, call an abuse hotlline and get help and suggestions. Or ask your doctor for help in suggesting a therapy group, perhaps they can get you to move on.
2007-09-12 20:24:30 · answer #6 · answered by ChemoAngel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he makes money....... start putting some away on the sly. When you save enough get you own place and divorce the control freak. He will have to pay support for the kids and make sure you tell your lawyer you want alimony. Don't make excuses for his behavior or that he is the kids Dad...BULL. This is abuse. Get yourself and the kids the HE&& out.
2007-09-12 20:15:06 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay he might be the one cheating if he is accusing you for no reason or he knows he hasn't been treating you right and a better men might come your way so he is afraid...anyway please remember what you want out of a relationship if it is not being meet ask yourself do you want to be like this for the rest of your life? I don't think so. Life is too short honey you've gotta make the best of it you've gotta be happy better yourself you deserve better. cheers
2007-09-12 20:12:52 · answer #8 · answered by Versacetica 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you are with a controlling man. Do a bit of research online about controlling men. I will post a link below to a good forum for help with abuse. There, you can learn a LOT about controlling men and recieve support.
2007-09-12 20:13:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds as if you are in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship and chances are excellent that he is the one cheating!!!!! Counseling is your only answer.
Good Luck
2007-09-12 20:13:21 · answer #10 · answered by Springtime of my Loving 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋