About 8 months ago, I told my husband of 6 yrs. during a pretty bad fight, that i didn't love him and hadn't for a long time. I was trying to hurt him at the time and I knew it would because for a while before hand, he had been questioning my feelings for him. We made up, and a month later, found out i was pregnant with our 2nd child. Recently we've been fighting alot, and his feelings towards me seem to be fading. I was talking with a friend of mine yesterday who reminded me what I said to him, i had forgotten about it because i really didn't mean it, but now i realize how much it must have broke his heart. I feel awful, and want to apologize, but we just had a fight 3 days ago, and aren't speaking, plus i don't know if he'll believe me. he's always been very sensitive about it.
2007-09-12 10:56:46 · 14 answers · asked by aries4279 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Speaking as a guy. You've burnt the bridge.
When someone hears, they're no longer loved, they will never trust hearing "I love you," from the person again.
2007-09-12 11:08:04 · answer #1 · answered by gromit801 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who ever came up with that "sticks and stones" rhythm was fill of sh!t! U have apologize and make him believe you. U 2 have 2 learn to fight fair - no name calling, and think abt the words you say. My ex husband ruined our love because he was so hateful with his words. You've got babies and they don't need to hear Mommy and Daddy degrade each other. I been there...the mean words are easy to just let fall out of your mouth, but if you both can commit to fighting fair you can make it work. I believe YOU can if that's what you want. Forgive each other for the past and start fresh. No bringing up the past - FORGIVE and let it go! Then you can start filling up each other Love bank with good things and after a while there won't be any room in that bank for the mean stuff. You have to put each others feelings before your own! that's what loving someone means. Congrats on the baby, they're blessings, fix your words so you can share your blessings with each other. Good luck!
2007-09-12 11:20:18 · answer #2 · answered by Big Red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love: What occurs when humans fall in love is the levels of a protein molecule called “nerve growth factor” (NGF) increases significantly. Also, the brain consistently releases a certain set of chemicals which include pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin. Love is a result of evolution and a way for people to mate and reproduce. Sense of smell plays a part in attraction. Biologically, love is seen as a mammalian drive (like thirst and hunger). Love can be seen by actions geared towards certain people's happiness and well-being. The brainwaves can be analyzed and are different when a person is in love and when (s)he is not.
2016-05-18 00:24:06 · answer #3 · answered by elisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YEA, having your spouse say something like THAT is VERY hurtful - especially since you "love" him enough to have sex and allowed yourself getting pregnant - no doubt he feels like he has just been "used" - -
I STRONGLY suggest you find a GOOD counselor and start going together ASAP - he might believe you still CARE about him, but he will find it hard to believe you LOVE him, as LOVE does NOT seek to hurt or destroy - - that was a VERY bad choice of words that will take lots of time and patience on your part to remedy. PLEASE stop the fighting - the stress is NOT good for any of you - especially the newest baby!!! I sincerely pray you all can work things out - good luck!!
2007-09-12 11:12:16 · answer #4 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The two of you are both slowly killing your marriage by the way arguments and stress are handled. The focus should be to listen and respect each other rather than to win. Put aside your pride and talk to him. Don't let too many more days pass before telling him that you love him. Learn to use this challenging period of your marriage to strengthen it not to rip each other apart. If you don't learn to communicate differently, he won't care whether you love him. He'll decide that he no longer wants to be with you. What will winning arguments leave you with then?
Suck it up and talk to him. Then GROW UP. One more thing... Did you just read what Niki wrote? Key word: EX-wife.
2007-09-12 11:23:42 · answer #5 · answered by Jasmine808 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's sad that you felt the need to hurt your husband in a fight. You sound like my husbands ex-wife you need to learn how to walk away form a fight before it gets that bad you should never say something that you know you will regret later on. You need to talk to him and make amends for what you said to hurt him if he doesn't believe you then let you actions speak for you they say actions speak louder that words
2007-09-12 11:19:50 · answer #6 · answered by nikie_atkinson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, you and he need some serious therapy if your going to make this work. Fighting is not loving and loving is not fighting. Start with figuring out the difference. You can ONLY work on yourself, and from the sounds of it, some serious Soul-searching work is needed, or your marriage is headed south. Even with therapy, and Soul-searching, there are no guarantees. But you gotta start somewhere and do YOUR best for the sake of your children.
2007-09-12 11:14:24 · answer #7 · answered by shine_radiantstar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have done this before....and the best way to mend things is to show him that you love him through your actions and not by what you say. Go the extra mile to do things for him that he likes despite the fight you have had. It may take him a while to rebuild his trust that you do indeed love him. Through time...he will begin to SEE that you do indeed love him. But you can not just give him the words right now. After you SHOW him that you love him through your actions....THEN begin to tell him how much he means to you....he will be able to take what you say and belive it. Take care and I hope everything works out well for you and your husband!
2007-09-12 11:05:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and tell him how awful you feel for saying whatever it took to break his heart. Assure him that it wasn't and isn't true and that for now on you promise to fight fairly. Beg for his forgiveness. That was terrible and you have to show him daily that you didn't really mean it and NEVER ever do that again.
2007-09-12 11:05:47 · answer #9 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go up to him and give him a hug and let him know you love him.Words are words alot of times , you need to prove it.I do not go to bed mad at my husband,what if something happened to him over night or vice vera....Yall have a child on the way,stop being stuborned and let him know you love him.....If you want this marrage to work.
2007-09-12 11:26:58 · answer #10 · answered by lady bug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋