My 5-year-old boy plays with another 5-year-old all the time but the problem is that this boy is too rough and we are not sure weather to approach it with the teacher or the boy's parents. Our child has said that he doesn't always want to play with him but the boy threatens to tell the the teacher if he doesn't.
2007-09-12 10:53:37 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Primary & Secondary Education
self defense training... explain to your son that the best place to smack the little devil is right in the throat. Pop him a good one and tell the little SOB to back off. If he dies then your son is safe from him forever... if he lives he will still be so afraid of your son that he will leave him alone.
2007-09-12 11:01:19 · answer #1 · answered by IG64 5 · 2⤊ 4⤋
In my opinion I would bring it up with the teacher first. Don't make a big deal out of it at first. Nothing puts a teacher's back up like a parent storming in all guns blazing. But teachers are normally only too happy to help reasonable parents. Explain that you know young children do play rough games but you are a little concerned that this one boy doesn't always know when to stop. Ask if there are any systems in place at the school during 'playtimes' such as a teacher who organises games for some children, or older children who act as buddies. Either your child or the other boy could be asked to play in the teacher's group or with a buddy for a little while, to give them both a break from one another. Often, children play with those they sit with, so if the teacher has set places for the children in the classroom he or she may be able to change the places around so that the 2 boys are not sitting together, and this might help them to forge other friendships. Also, when the teacher knows of the problem he/she might be able to use the situation in 'circle time' sessions to talk to all the children in the class about appropriate behaviour. I am a teacher, and when there are issues with children in the class I often use toys to act out situations, and the children talk about them, and what the toys should have done instead, etc. This helps them to realise consequences of actions, and to develop good morals. Turn the boy's threat round on him by encouraging your child to tell the teacher if he doesn't want to play with this boy. If you tell the teacher you have told your child to do this he or she will be better able to simply provide both boys with other activities to do and not make a big issue out of it, so that the boys can continue to be friends even if they don't always play together. If you ever do speak to the other boy's mother so it an a 'I'd really appreciate your advice about how we can help our sons' friendship' manner, rather than getting cross, because it's quite unlikely that she would want her son to hurt yours, and if she thinks you do still want them to be friends she'll be more likely to try to sort her son's behaviour out.
2007-09-13 07:11:19 · answer #2 · answered by abihigginson 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not go to the child's parent this will make it worst remember he is their little angel too and will not like anyone saying anything about their son. 9learnt that the hard way).
You must arm your son with some good advise and tell him to tell the other boy he does not want to play and when he threatens him tell your son to ignore the threat as he will not carry it through your son has to learn to stand up for himslef.
I would most definatly talk to teacher away from your sons view if he can see you the other lad can and may cause more problems. They are trained in this area and can be a great tool towards helping with this without anyone getting hurt.
I once had this with my daughter made the mistake of confronting parent and good god I was scared then. So I told daughter to stand up to the bully as bully's are cowards remember he has picked your son to play with why? bet no one else wants to play with this lad.
I ended up sending a note into teacher and it was sorted she phoned me in her break.
Good luck he will be ok
2007-09-13 14:36:03 · answer #3 · answered by momof3 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to the teacher for sure. Also suggest that they are watched by an adult during "free play time." Do not approach the parents of the boy because he may be punished and he will then really get hard to handle. Now, he may be unaware that he is playing rough. Suggest that the boys play with an enlarged group of kids so that your son can duck out of the activity if he wants.
2007-09-12 18:05:44 · answer #4 · answered by sharon m 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If it's at school, then tell the teacher. The problem is that other people will judge your son the same as the rough boy, the teachers might think he WANTS to be with him, and other children are unlikely to want to play with either of them, or other parents may tell their children to keep away. Also, he might get into bad habits. The teacher can keep an eye open if she knows it's a problem.
2007-09-12 18:00:43 · answer #5 · answered by proud walker 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
as a parent myself i would first arrange to discuss your concerns with the teacher. this way the teacher knows to keep an eye on things and see how the situation stands. at this early stage there is no need to approach the parent and it is probably best not to as you dont know how they might react (they could cause problems for you) as parents like to believe there children are not in the wrong.
everything really should be done through the teacher. he/she will assess whether there is a need to talk to the other party and it will be best if the teacher does this as well as they can do it all confidentially so that the other parents neednt know who is concerned.
hope this has helped you.
2007-09-13 14:24:16 · answer #6 · answered by jennifer f 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a teacher of 3-5yr olds, I would want toknow if something was upsetting a child in my class. I would tell the teacher very discretely so your son is unaware, they may have already picked up on 'rough' behaviour, if not they can then watch out for behaviour in the class.
Hand some choices over to your son. Encourage him to stand up for himself - tell the other boy he doesnt want to play. Reassure him that he wont get into trouble because he's not doing anything wrong.
All kids have the ability to be 'rough'. you might be surprised but your son could be as rough at school - giving as good as he gets, and enjoying the play at the time, but worrying later.
Dont make to much of it. Most 'bullying' type of behaviour at this age is not vindictive/nasty. Its just a small kid wanting his / her own way. Its up to parents and teachers to help children learn to respect / accept the views / needs of others. And at 5 that doesnt happen alot.
2007-09-12 18:19:39 · answer #7 · answered by safclass 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes address it with the teacher. He may become dominated by this child and be too scared to say. It's a pretty common problem. The teacher may move him away from this child or try and introduce him to a new set of friends. He's still so young it's a good time for him to move around and make new friends overseen by the teacher. I would certainly do this if my childen were that young.
2007-09-12 18:04:48 · answer #8 · answered by helen p 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Talk to the teachers. This is a type of bullying if the other child is threatening your child. The school should have a policy and a course of actions to approach and solve the problem.
2007-09-12 18:02:24 · answer #9 · answered by snowy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
then something needs to be done about it as i would say it is a form of bulling.the fact that this child has con troll over your child he could make your son do a lot of things he may not want to do.the teachers would be the best way round this as to not to get on the wrong side of the other boys parent/s.
2007-09-13 06:54:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
have a quiet word with the teacher, then they can look out for any rough play, and tell the other boy to quit it. that way it doesnt look suspicious on your little one.
good luck!
2007-09-12 18:02:30 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋