How do I tell my wife that I'm not happy in our marriage, but I would like to try and work it out?

Question

Let me add some things...I am not sure that I'm in love anymore. I feel more like we're roommates with kids than husband and wife. I don't find myself attracted to her physically either. These feelings have been going on for over a year.

Answer 1

give her this link:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AgThtlxZmsZAVGC4xYzMZTrB7BR.;_ylv=3?qid=20070912144426AA95KSH

Answer 2

Good for you that despite what you are feeling, you still what to pursue this marriage! Your wife must be truly blessed to have a husband like you. May I suggest a few things:
1. What's your measure for a happy married life? Having a wonderful spouse, great children and a happy home? Sometimes we have the tendency to take the little blessings we have that may be the cause for us to feel "empty". Count your blessings then contemplate on what really makes an individual happy.
2. Initiate an open discussion to your wife. Maybe you are both hesitant to talk about this - afraid you might hurt one another. But you just have to take the risk of letting your wife know how you feel before it is too late. Remember, you cannot mend anything if she is not aware there is a problem in the first place.
3. As the husband, maybe you can add spice to your marriage by initiating out-of-town trips for you and your wife. Schedule once a week date or relinquish the romantic times you spent together when you were just boyfriend-girlfriend. Sometimes being married for some time leads to routine activities and being complacent about the relationship. You do not have to spend so much - what's important is that you and wife share the same comfort/loving feeling when you're together.

Answer 3

You need to tell your wife that you feel that you 2 have a problem and explain to her how you feel, you know couples can get into such a rut especially if there are kids involved,
Let her know that you want to work this out if possible and try to recreate a time that you two were really happy and in love take her to a place when you both have such good memories
and were so in love, leave the kids with the in -laws for a weekend and both you just put all your attentions on making each other happy, Listen, you loved her once and if you are willing to work on this you must have some feeling that are left for her, so be honest with her allow her to be honest with you.
make reservations for a weekend to take her out of town and give her everything that you are capable of giving with your heart and see where this will lead you, It may not work and if it doesn't work then you know your marriage is in trouble, the next step would be to seek a counselor if this is what you would want to do. I hope the both of you will be able to get the spark back and I hope I was able to help you in some way.
Good Luck and I will be praying for you.

Answer 4

Well first of u have to figure out where the problem lies.
Have u met someone else that u r attracted to?
Has she quit making an effort to look pretty, is too busy with kids and housework to have the time to pretty up?
When u figure out the problem u r half way through.
The work on solving it.
IF its another woman figure out if shes worth ur marriage & kids.
If its ur wife, u can sit her down and explain what u need from her, help her with house chores, kids etc, take her out at least once a week, leave kids with a babysitter.
Talk more, communicate, make love more often.
U can work it out if u still love her.

Answer 5

Do you think she totally ignores the problem? Probably not. Don't quit very easy cause it is normal to have those feelings once in a while, definitely that is something you both need to work out and you have to be honest without hurting her feelings, don't tell her it is probably the 40 pounds she putted on lately, or something like that...lol try to do things that you usued to enjoy before, take sometime for the two of you only, try new activities and try to have fun again, life is stressful and rutine makes it boring, divorce its always the last resource, it should be avoided as much as you can. Talk to her at a special place with no kids around her, make something special and tell her you both need to get TOGETHER again.
Good luck, and God bless you.

Answer 6

First of all communication is always important in marriage this way each one knows how the other is feeling and get answers to help their marriage. My question to you is that are you still in love with her, you have children and you want to try and work it out don't you know that children can tell what is real and whats not real. So lets not use the children to stay together find out where things went wrong you have had some reason for marrying this woman try to figure what happen that has given you thoughts of divorce.

best of luck

Answer 7

You need to be open and honest. Tell her how you feel. She really needs to know. Apparently you do still love her if you still want to work things out. DO NOT stay in the marriage just for the kids. In time, the kids will see and feel what your going thru. Alot of times, after a couple has kids, they get wrapped up in their responsibilities and forget each other. Then before you know it, the marriage seems like a "chore". Just remember the little things that made you fall in love with her in the first place. Set aside time for you both. Take a day out of the month just for yourselves and take her out on a date. Bring back the spark in your marriage. Best of luck with your marriage. I really hope it works out.

Answer 8

Tell her exactly what u wrote here. If you are not happy there is no reason to stay, but if you feel that maybe deep down inside you can work it out give it an other try. maybe you need a weekend away together and the whole not been attractive thing maybe she gain a few pounds and you don't like that on her let her know in a nice way so she can start taking care of her self again

Answer 9

First of all, sit down, keep yourself calm, because when a woman gets mad you don't want to make it worst, then start asking her questions about how she feels now in your marriage, if she also feels the same as you are feeling. Try to talk with a lot of respect towards each other. And give her the ideas that you have of how to work things out, specially to feel again like newly weds, i know that's hard when you have children but if you still love each other EVERYTHING is possible. Good Luck!!! Best Wishes!!!!

Answer 10

sometimes in a marriage, we tend to feel this way. Taking steps to resolve the problem is a challenge but with communication and openess on both parties, there may be a chance for the marriage to work.

You do not have to tell your wife that you are unhappy in the marriage just yet. Try and rekindle the flame that once brought the two of you together. A freind of mine struggled through this as well and what he did was play music that reminded him of his wife. Took her out to dinner and spent time getting to know that woman he feel in love with. Trust me when I say that this man was about to leave his wife for another woman but with my encouragement and prayer he decided to stay with his wife. This was five years ago...I'm not saying that his solution will work in your situation, I am saying that giving your marriage your everything is very important...

Answer 11

i agree that u need to sit her down and tell her exactly what u have just told the whole world. however i think it is also important that u realize that the everydayness of marriage and the hectic(ness) of parenthood are contributing factors in the way we feel about our spouse. i would bet there is not much u do together as a couple (not as parents). take time to remember what u both loved to do and see how those things can fit into ur lives. even something as simple as a 30min evening walk can help u rebond.

also u say its been going on a year. what was going on in ur life at the time and did it contribute in any way to the way u feel now?