Ok, I knew my boyfriend cussed like a sailor when I met him. He uses every name in the book (mother f--ker, s-o-b, bast--d, f-you, and the worst one G-D---. I told him the GD word really bothered me and I ask him not to say it around me. I also told him he cusses way too much and it makes him look uneducated. He told me he was a grown man and if he wanted to cuss he would. Also he told me some of his friends he just has to cuss to. Over the last year however he has refrained from using GD around me unless he is really mad then he does. It's just getting to be so bad, I gringe everytime he cusses. It's not like the occasionaly oh sh-- or da-- it. He uses them A LOT in every sentence. What could I do...if any. Thanks.
2007-09-12 09:03:38 · 11 answers · asked by Doubtful 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't do a ******* thing. It's his ******* mouth. He is the one who looks un ******* educated. Why does this **** bother you? Don't be a *****, stop trying to change your ******* man.
2007-09-12 09:15:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
The bad part is that you knew this when you hooked up with him. To insist he changes now, is useless. You took him "as is" the same way you'd take a used vehicle "as is". You probably loved him so much that you tended to "overlook" red flags that waved in front of you. Number one mistake of a LOT of women, including me. Let him know it really, really bothers you. Sounds like you did, and he said basically he was going to do it anyway. That puts the ball back in your court. You cannot CHANGE anyone. All you can do is change YOU. Do you want to keep living with it? Because a good indicator of future behavior is repeated past behavior.
Marrying him won't make it stop either, and if you are not on the same page now, then you won't be when you're married. If he couldn't slow down, and it really bothered me, I'd probably decide it was up to me, to DEAL with it, or move on...and save myself even more drama on down the road.
Someone that does that excessively, sounds a little immature to me. Something to think about...but you cannot expect change from him. If you want change, you're in charge of your own life, and have to make it happen for yourself, with or without him.
2007-09-12 16:22:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a morality debate. You should never give up on your morals to be with someone. How can two walk together unless they agree? You probably don't have as much in common with him as you think. Don't try to make yourself have stuff in common because you've been with him a long time, or because he's fine, or because he has alot of money etc. If your're single, you have options. IF you're married, stay committed and keep the communication open. Best wishes.
2007-09-12 16:27:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably learned it from his parents and doesn't even know how bad he sounds.
If you guys are close in general..get a tape recorder and let him hear how it sounds.
I used to know someone who was the same way, but I was too afraid of him to do something like taping him..It's nice to not be around him anymore though..I'm lucky..but my son inherited his foul mouth and I have to stop him all the time!
2007-09-12 16:10:52 · answer #4 · answered by ♫ Melody 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, vulgar language might make someone seem uneducated. But, you also have to consider his audience. If he is around you and his friends, he is in his comfort zone and more free to be himself. The fact that he is making an attempt to censor his language around you shows that he cares.
2007-09-12 16:10:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your choice to be around him. We all pick our friends, you know. I can't stand cussing either and I don't hang out with anyone who uses it freely. The occasional slip is one thing, but in regular conversation it's disgusting. So, again, it's your choice. Either accept it and live with it and know that your (possible) children will probably model their father.
2007-09-12 16:21:04 · answer #6 · answered by Wendy B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing that you can do is get a new boyfriend.It is very unlikely that he will change.He has probably been using foul language all of his life.
2007-09-12 18:56:23 · answer #7 · answered by Julius C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do because like he said...he is a grown man.
2007-09-12 16:17:37 · answer #8 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Vulgarity is like a primary tongue for many men. Like it or leave it, its up to you.
2007-09-12 16:18:13 · answer #9 · answered by Hitheeeeer! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it really bothers you, you can tell people that he has turrets (sp?).
2007-09-12 16:18:21 · answer #10 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋