I no longer want to be in love with anyone. It's so painful and self-destructive. I know that it takes TIME to move on from people and broken hearts but what can I do to not be in love? I want to fall out of love with someone. I've recently started thinking about all the horrible things she's done to me and I just start to dislike her. Should I just think about all of the bad things she's done instead of why the HELL i love her? Or even replace those things with how "special" she is. Why is it that we always fall for people who treat us like **** when we should appreciate the ones who love us the right way? I'm so sick of this...
2007-09-12 08:36:24 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
i'm sorry for what you're going through. i've been there myself. it does take time to get over the hurt and anger that you have for the other person, and it sucks. but all i can say is dont let one idiot ruin your life. dont put love behind you, cos everyone needs it. you'll find someone that actually appreciates you and wouldnt want to hurt you. dont throw love away, cos when you do find the right person, what will you have for them? you'll get through this, sweety.
2007-09-12 08:42:50 · answer #1 · answered by SportyT 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This isn't a smart a** answer.
Some people just can't help but "fall" for people that don't treat them well or treat them like garbage. I know several people who "don't like" people that treat them well and love those that treat them badly. Yes, they constantly complain about how bad they are but they keep going back (or stay with) them.
I could go into all sorts of possible reasons for this behavior but I don't have time and it depends on the person and there experiences. Perhaps you should take a hard look at yourself and ask your self if these people (one that don't treat you well)are the type of people you are attracted too.
If so, and you want to break away from this. I would suggest professional help.
Good luck to you.
2007-09-12 16:31:20 · answer #2 · answered by tamarack58 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey girl, how's it going not to good from the question, I take it. I don't think you need to go as far as to fall out of love with this person. If she is the kind of person who just wants to stab you in the back, then don't even acknowledge her existence. I mean, just start hanging out with other people and occupy your time with other things, and don't even include her. Don't hate her, but you don't have to like her either. It's better to forgive her for all the wrongs she's done to you, because believe me it's far better ammo, to forgive and forget than it is to hate and be miserable. If you forgive her and forget what happened, then sh will hate that more than anything. Don't let it bother you, your young yet, and things will get easier. Don't get yourself so confused.
2007-09-12 22:14:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doubting your judgment in having loved her in the first place, and that hurts like the dickens. Trust me, I know about this kind of thing. What you need is to examine your own values and judgment, do some self-study and get back your confidence. What I found was that I believed I had good "instincts" on who to trust, but it turned out it was not the case. My lust was clouding my vision: I did not see dishonesty and artificiality because I did not want to have to turn away from them. I decided the next time I'd trust my sense of caution and let myself have time to get to know the person before I was so trusting.
I didn't actually carry out that plan very effectively, but I tried.
2007-09-12 15:43:56 · answer #4 · answered by auntb93 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same position with my ex. I try to think of all his negative traits, but I don't know if its working.
Doesn't it kinda make you feel worse? Because if you really like them and you only remember the bad times you've had with them, aren't you conditoning yourself to believe your ex hated you? And you're gonna feel bad thinking you had feelings for someone you believe hated you.
I don't know the details of why things didn't work out with your ex, but if she hurt you in the worst way, just take it as a life lesson and move on. Go out and have fun, date. I wouldn't make a big deal about dating cuz of course right now you still want your ex, and if the dates aren't great, you might wanna run back to your ex in a heartbeat. So just try to find distraction: parties, work, school, running, lol.
2007-09-12 15:49:46 · answer #5 · answered by ~Tiffany~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DONT GIVE UP ON LOVE SWEETIE... think about how great it is when things are good... I know it doesnt seem like it now, but you will get back there someday, maybe not with this person, but definitely with someone...
when my boyfriend was first going away to college I got so angry at him for leaving me and I started to make myself hate him by concentrating on the things I did not like about him... It only made me not like myself when I realized how much I loved him and what I was making myself think about him.. our minds are very powerful things and you have to be careful how you use them.. even today, when i am the maddest at him that i have ever been i know how much i love him
i am not saying you should stay with this person if they are treating you badly... but dont blame love for it... be thank ful that u have the ability to experience something as amazing as it and continue your conquest to find it truly
2007-09-12 15:55:19 · answer #6 · answered by DONE & DONE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're in love with someone who doesn't love you back, that's reason enough to get out.
Make a list of how the person has wronged you/made life worse.
Then make a list of all the qualities you'd like in a friend or partner.
Then get a life. Get busy and do things. Don't sit around moping.
2007-09-12 15:41:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋