Responses wanted from Men and Women: What causes a man to stray in a relationship? Neglect? Disrespect?

Question

If your woman made you feel like you could slay dragons and that you were the world's greatest lover, would you even think of looking for someone else? If she cooked delicious meals, pampered you, never refused sex in general, respected your veiws, gladly gave you reign as head of the house, made your opinion more important than her friends or family, would you want another woman? If she took care of herself and worked on her appearance to remain attractive to you through the years, would you ever consider cheating?
My point is that I think women have become domineering, selfish, and blind in relationships. It's all about the 'woman's' feelings. I'm not saying to let a man walk all over you, I'm just saying give him the respect, love, and nurturing he deserves and he will cherish you like no other. Some women will say 'you are crazy', but these are the things they did while dating and trying to get their guy, so why stop?
Wanted to see the response to this, especially the guys.

Answer 1

From a woman's perspective, and from a lifetime of experience, some men will stray no matter what you do, and some men will not stray , no matter what you do. It is all part of the character of the individual, not a reflection on what his mate does.

Answer 2

Disrespect will drive him away. Having said that, being put on a pedestal could also do it. If his wife makes him out to be perfect, in every way, he can find that image hard to live up to. It also shows that she doesn't think as highly of herself. Therefore disrespect again (for her, not him).
These could be reasons, but nothing justifies straying.
I do agree though. Both men and women tend to change after marriage and go into cruise mode. I guess they feel that they don't have to impress anymore. It's not right really. False advertising really. You end up getting less than what you signed up for. Maybe some people want to test if they can still impress, when they stray.

Answer 3

I disagree - you're not always going to be beautiful or have a great day, there are going to be times you don't feel like cooking, then what, does that give a man a right to cheat? What is happening is two fold. Women don't respect themselves, and so then men don't respect us. As a wife yes, you are supposed to be virtuous - and take care of your children, home and husband -- but what about women that do this for men that can't keep a job or support their kids-- then leave us holding the bag financially as well as carrying the family? In fact, how many women do you know that are single parents, holding it down - we sometimes have a reason to be selfish and domineering cause we've been forced into situations where we have to wear the pants --- Cause let's keep it real, a lot of men aren't real men anymore, and no matter hot plates you serve up, or how many times you make love to them, how great looking you keep yourself, they're still going to let their penis rule their actions? I mean, after all, there's always someone better looking than you. This generation is selfish by nature and cheating is a selfish action - I want what I have, and something else too --and like I said -if you don't respect yourself, how can you respect someone else? I think both men and women need to step up the plate -

Answer 4

Plain and simple... a man NEEDS to feel respected and a woman NEEDS to feel loved... generally speaking. We can all make excuses for infidelity but it boils down to how we are "wired" physically and emotionally by our creator. Morals play a large part but I can tell you from experience even a man... or woman... with the highest moral standards can stray if not treated properly... it's not right it's "just the facts ma'am..." I was told once that driving a 4-wheel drive instead of a 2-wheel drive truck just gets you stuck further from where you want to be... morals will keep most on the straight and narrow for only so long. As a footnote... the less confident your guy feels the more he will look to you for that "I can slay dragons" feeling.

Answer 5

I totallly agree we (women) have bought into the the "i am woman hear me roar theory". The fact is in some cases we have become imasculating to our hubby's.We need to stop and look at what we want from our men and go for it. Men are basically simple they want to feel special well so do we. So start with the Golden Rule treat others as you would like to be treated. In almost every case a woman will see a difference in her man. There are some jerks out there but by and large most guys just want a woman that loves them.

Answer 6

A lack of morals. There really is not other reason for it. It does not matter what the woman does or doesn't do there is no excuse for infidelity because you always have the choice to leave the relationship.
I want a woman to show me she loves me. Respect is important but it's a two way street. I don't require delicious meals but hell you can't complain if they are. My opinion is always mine but doesn't mean it's right. I do want a woman who will take care of herself and I think that is important to her own self respect in most cases.
I do agree that a lot of women show the things you have mentioned and then stop doing them once there is a commitment to the relationship. Bait and switch I guess.

Answer 7

It's difficult to say. I've been in relationships where I've done all of the above and the man still cheated. I think whether a man cheats or not is based on his willingness to commit and his level of maturity. Either he will take advantage of a woman like that, or he will cherish it. In cases where they take advantage, it is usually because at some point they loose interest.

If the guy has any morals at all, he'd just stop dating you and move on or he'll be upfront about his intentions in the first place.

Answer 8

I think you hit the nail on the head and couldn't agree with you more. All of my friends are always griping about their husbands and yet, my friends have this "entitlement" syndrome that nauseates me. Marriage takes work. It's NOT easy, and too many women today think that a ring on their finger entitles them to everything their way or the highway. I guess I'm just an old fashioned girl....but then, wait....most of our grandmothers who had old fashioned values were happily married for 50+ years! Go you! Great question!

Answer 9

What causes a man to stray in a relationship -- neglect? No.

Disrespect? No.

If your woman made you feel like you could slay dragons and that you were the world's greatest lover, would you even think of looking for someone else? Yes.

If she cooked delicious meals, pampered you, never refused sex in general, respected your veiws, gladly gave you reign as head of the house, made your opinion more important than her friends or family, would you want another woman? Yes.

If she took care of herself and worked on her appearance to remain attractive to you through the years, would you ever consider cheating? Yes.

The fact of the matter is that no matter how perfect you are, the decision of whether or not to cheat on his wife lies within his sense of values. If you are married to a man who is immature and lust-driven, selfish and keeping a poor sense of perspective, he will cheat no matter how awesome you are. If you marry a man who is emotionally mature, who understands the meaning of commitment, and who possesses strong personal values, he won't cheat on you no matter how badly you treat him.

Ultimately, the only person whose behavior you can definitely control is your own. It's a dangerous line of thinking to believe otherwise.

Answer 10

You gave the perfect example on how a woman should upkeep herself in order to maintain that attraction to her man.

I think if my gf neglects sex to me, then I will stray. You are completely right about it always being about the woman - ME, ME, ME. But what about the man? He feels the need of affection and love from their woman and it should be equally returned (treat others how you would like to be treated).

If I feel my gf stops giving me affection then I will do the same. I know this may sound immature but it is my only way of communication to her. (It's not like I'm going to go & biitch to her "I need more attention!"). So then she'll slowly realize she is lacking in that dept. and work on it again. Men don't go to women to ask for things the way women go to men. So you need to understand that.

I adore my gf endlessly because of her expressions and actions that she makes towards me & I do the same. I may be the initiator to hold her, carress her, etc. & she'll follow, but sometimes it needs to be the other way around so you don't always feel your the one doing, doing, doing & that she actually is still attracted to you, by kissing, holding, etc.

Now this is not to say some people just have f8cked up morals and values and can care less how they treat their other. Maybe they were brought up in a broken household and don't feel the need to love or were never taught the signicificance on loving one another, but some people break out of this & are the opposite.

I would say it depends on the individual first (if they respect themselves, they will respect you), then needs to be the equally of affection and love towards one another.

Answer 11

I believe that the way you start of in a relationship should remain that way because if your being all nice to get this man than you need to keep it up to keep the man .

This goes for men and woman a like if things are not the same when you started the relationship and your not getting what you need from home then you will look for it else where so everyone needs to satisfy their mate.

best of luck