you found out that a friend of you and your husbands (which you met through your husband while you were dating him) has had a huge crush on him and has always had a crush on him and you just found out yesterday after 4 years of being together
this "friend" of ours has been to dinner parties with us and all kinds of differernt gatherings...i had no clue!!!!
i am confused about my feelings right now--how would you feel?
2007-09-12 08:07:53 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
so your husband has a friend who has had a crush on him for a long time and you just found out after 4yrs
and you guys have been hanging out and no one told you about it
i think that i would be confused in feeling also
is this friend a danger or threat to your relationship?
2007-09-12 08:16:49 · answer #1 · answered by Mindy S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm confused... Is it a guy that likes your husband or a lady? Either way, I'd be a little irritated. What has this person done to let your guy know they have a "crush"? Why would they do this or tell him when he's married? You can't help it if you think someone is attractive, but you don't have to act on it in any way. If you are really "friends" with this person I'd have a little private chat with them. Maybe, it's just a misunderstanding. But, I wouldn't want to hang out with them on a constant basis if she/he has the hots for your husband. Too much temptation.
2007-09-12 15:14:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am assuming you are talking about a woman having a crush on your husband right? I would be a little uncomfortable and flattered at the same time. Uncomfortable because I know that she has a thing for my husband...and anytime that we are together...I will have to wonder what she is thinking about concerning my husband...at the same time I would be flattered because someone else thinks my husband is attractive....but I trust my husband....and I wouldn't feel threatened by this woman.
2007-09-12 15:17:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I understand how you must be feeling. I have been through something very very similar. I actually took about a month to figure out my feelings and stopped talking to the person and kept my husband out of thier reach for a long time. I have slight jealousy issues though and didn't know how to deal with it. Looking back I would have confronted my husband and asked him what he felt and then took action from there. It took me almost 3 months to talk to my husband about it causing our marriage to have rocky times because I wasn't communicating with him. Let him know how your feeling about this and ask what he feels about it. The decide on what you should do together.
Momma_Bear
2007-09-12 15:18:40 · answer #4 · answered by the_morris_bears 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I honestly wouldn't worry about it. The girl needs to get over it. When other women are attracted to my husband, I take it as a compliment. Plus, all that matters is that your husband isn't interested in her. This goes back to the opposite scenario (a guy telling his girlfriend, "don't worry, I could never get a girl like that"). It's your significant other's feelings that matter, no one else's. Obviously, he's not interested in her or he would have acted on it before you came along. He chose you after he knew her.
I would like to add, I would be ticked at the friend. She needs to back off. Even if you have a crush on someone, you need to give up the fantasy after your crush has a ring on his/her finger. Even if you still like the person, keep it to yourself.
Again, I wouldn't be mad at your husband. Did he even know she liked him? If he did know, then it would bother me a little bit, but I wouldn't be furious. I would only hang out with her when it is both of you from now on.
2007-09-12 15:18:23 · answer #5 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
How did it come out?
It could be nothing. All a crush is being infatuated with someone. That does not mean anything has happened or will happen. It also doesn't mean that there is anything sexual about it.
It depends on how it all came out. If it was mean then I would be mad, if it came out in a joking way I'd be like what ever, etc.
2007-09-12 15:16:41 · answer #6 · answered by Spring 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would feel somewhat insecure, but not shocked. It's rare that men and women can have platonic relationships (not long ones anyway.) I would talk to my husband about some boundaries. He does not need to have the type of relationship with her where he could possibly "turn to her" when you all get upset with each other. Personally, my husband and I cut some ties with our opposite sex friends when we got married. It's part of safeguarding to keep the marraige together, and our friends fully understood.
2007-09-12 15:18:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
So what? Does your husband has a crush on her? If not, I wouldn't worry about it. I have no control over other people's "crushes".
I had a friend who I suspected had a crush on my ex (while we were still married). It was no big deal. My ex and I have been divorced for 7 years now, but a friend is still my friend.
2007-09-12 15:25:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Get her out of your lives!!!! I would be so upset and I would put a stop to the friendship now. This girl is trouble. Stop it before it gets to be too late.
That is not a good friend at all to wanting your husband.
2007-09-12 15:23:25 · answer #9 · answered by conny 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would say that as long as she isn't hitting on my husband or making any sexaul inuendos towards him then no big deal. It would reinforce the fact that I got a keeper who is good looking enough and nice enough to others, and that makes women like him. I guess I would kindof be proud of him and be proud to be married to him.
Now if she was making passes at him, that would be a different story - I would have to say something to her, and if it didn't stop then I would stop being her friend.
2007-09-12 15:15:01 · answer #10 · answered by SisterSue 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋