Should a stay at home wife have to cook, clean, etc.?

Question

If a women decides to be a stay-at-home wife, but doesn't cook and clean, is she falling down on her job? My mom did this for a while, (she has a great, high-paying job that allowed her to do this if she wanted, so no, I didn't come from a family with a stay-at-home mom normally) and she said that while she was home, that stuff WAS her job. When she had a job outside the home, THAT was her job, and all the home stuff was divided between her and my father. So what do you guys think? Is it sexist to require a stay-at-home wife to cook and clean, if she decides she'd rather stay home than hold a job? If you do think it is, than what should a stay-at-home wife do?

Okay, fair enough free-angel. But if you think a stay-at-home wife shouldn't take care of most of the home stuff, but doesn't want to have a job, what should she do?

By the way, I'm 18...I'm not a wife! Just curious about your opinions.=) By the way, I do think if you're a stay at home wife, your home IS your job. So there.=)

Answer 1

Of course, that is what the stay at home job is. The cooking and cleaning, etc.

Why would a husband let his wife sit on her wide load and not do a thing all day? He is making an income, buying food, paying rent, buying her clothing. If she doesn't cook and clean than she probably doesn't love him or respect him. Then she should be kicked to the curb.

Answer 2

If you are on a budget because you are staying home to care for the kids (and yes, this is a worthy sacrifice) then yes, it only makes sense that the stay at home wife should be caring for the house, doing the laundry, and organizing the domestic end of things. In my home, I am a part-time stay at home Mom and wife, and it is basically up to me to care for the inside of the house, which is fine with me, I have more time to do these things, and I like and enjoy having an orderly, clean home. However, I do have a cleaning service that comes in twice a month and does the heavy duty cleaning, because I hate doing it. Hubby is fine with that...

The only issue we've really had over the years has been when he cooks....I said to him several times, why is it that when I cook, I clean up, but when you cook I still clean up? He's finally taken the hint and now cleans up after himself much better! LOL

Answer 3

I am not technically a stay at home mom I work 25- 30 hours a week if i feel like it but sense I chose to work and don't have to and because I want it done right the first time. I do the cleaning laundry and cooking I can get him to cook sometimes. I also bring all 3 kids to all there doc appointments I get my daughter up and out to school. I make all school functions. Any sports I get them to. So I am sorry but if you are a stay at home mom their houses should be cleanier then mine they should always have hot meals kids should be cleaned they should be able to do it with no problem if I can. It is not a sexist thing cuz believe me if I was making most of the money he would be doing the stuff I am doing now.

Answer 4

not only a stay at home wife but a stay at home husband too. I make the money and my husband stays at home and watches our kids. He takes his job very seriously as in the HOME job he makes sure that the house is clean and dinner/supper is cooked. I help out some also with the cooking and I clean when I can, or when there is something that needs to be done ( ususally he has everything done beofre I get off work) I cook breaskfast for our family.... It isn't as though my husband doesn't have income he is 41 and on disability and I work as an insurance rep I'm 24

Answer 5

well feel free to hire someone to do it if you can't boil water without burning it and have an allergy to cleaning products - but what a stay at home wife shouldn't do - is expect the husband to come home from a long day and have to clean or cook.

Yes, it would be your responsibility to clean the house - because you are the one in it the most and more than likely the one making the majority of the mess. Some people just can't cook, so that may or may not be a requirement in your case - but simple meals shouldn't be a problem, it isn't like you would be expected to become a gourmet chef.

It isn't sexist - you made a choice not to contribute financially, you should be contributing somehow - and not just sitting on your rear quarters watching tv or socializing.

Answer 6

Personally, I believe a mother and wife should do these things with being asked. Of course, the hubby could be helping out. A lot of people do not agree with me, I know. But if the husband is out working to keep a mortgage, car payments, etc.. why not do your part in making life easier? I am not trying to be mean but what do you do with your day?
I was raised with a stay at home mom, she did everything, but now that I have to work, I can see how my husband helping me would come in very handy. I think every marriage is different, some days he does the dishes and the dinner. Some days I do, mostly I do, but I try hard not to do it grudgingly. I think the way you look at the situation shapes how you feel. I tend to think if the guy did the laundry and all the cleaning stuff, would you go behind him and do it better, or fuss at him for not doing it better? You have to decide what is best for your relationship. I don't think housework is a big enough issue to get in a fight over. But that's just me. I hope you figure out what to do ..

Answer 7

Of course that is her job, nothing sexist about it. It is her decision not to work out side of the home, so the home is her job. It wouldn't be very fair for her husband to work 40 hrs a week, pay the bills, and cook and clean. While she sits on her butt and does nothing, that is just pure laziness and being a mooch. I stay home with 5 kids, and I know I don't put in any where near the hours my husband does a week. And I also don't believe and man should have to "help" once he gets home with cleaning or cooking. It should have been done during the day while he was at work.

Answer 8

It's between the wife and the husband. You have to figure this: *someone* has to cook, clean and take care of the house. So, we have several possibilities: mostly wife, wife and husband equally, mostly husband, or hired help. How these responsibilities are divided is up to each individual couple. If the wife can afford to stay home, and the husband doesn't mind taking on the burden of the housework, or if they can afford a housekeeper, then there's no reason for the wife to do housework. However, most of the time it's a practical thing to do for the stay-at-home wife to take care of the home - not because it's some kind of law, but because she's the one with the time to do that, and her husband is the one responsible for making a living.

Answer 9

It's not sexist, it's about cooperation in a partnership. If he is bringing home the money to maintain your lifestyle, then the least you can do is have a warm home cooked meal when he arrives from work. You're not a princess, you don't deserve nothing if you don't earn it.

If you don't want to clean or cook, then get a job and a) have him be a stay at home husband, or b) hire a cleaning lady and a cook with the money YOU earn. Don't be lazy, and don't be spoiled, this may just ruin your marriage.

Answer 10

I have a full-time job...repossess cars at night when I get off and still have to clean and cook and do laundry etc. It's a matter of the couple as to whether that is a workable solution for them. I have a very helpful husband, but in answer to your question...if I were a stay at home mom, then I feel that would definitely be my duty to take care of the home.