there is someone else that i care alot about, and every time i am around him or just talk to him it makes me fell happy. when i am around my husband i am depressed and not happy. what should i do. my husband says he loves me and he is relly trying. he has started doing things in the house and treating me really well, it is like he is trying too hard. if he had always acted this way maybe i wouldn't be un happy now. i am just scared that this will ony last a month or so just long enough for me to say i am staying. it still doesn't make me happy that he is doing all this, maybe it is just to late. what should i do. this other guy that makes me happy says that he cares for me too, there has nothing sexual happened between us. but we enjoy being around each other. help....
2007-09-12 05:54:44 · 16 answers · asked by stacy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know what you mean about doing all the right things now after you have exhausted all that you have in you trying to make it work when he didn't. It is "too little too late". It sounds to me like your feelings for him are truly over, and you are emotionally drained at this point. If that is the case, then it is time to end the marriage. But don't do so with the intention of running straight into this other man's arms, because that's not good. Sure he makes you feel good and you have fun together. But don't make the mistake of falling in love with him when you are just going through emotional upheavel of a divorce. You need to give yourself time to be by yourself and come to terms with what went wrong in your marriage before you go giving your heart to someone else. Best of luck to you.
2007-09-12 06:18:42 · answer #1 · answered by meagain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this is a case of too little, too late. By the time my husband realized I was serious about leaving him and started really trying to do better, it was just too late. I had tried for so long and I was just too hurt and too tired, to try any more.
The bottom line is that you both deserve to be happy. If you're not happy in your marriage, then he won't be either.
You really need to communicate and decide what it is you want to do.
As for the other man, you are still married and any feelings or relationship you have with him will complicate things and make decisions more difficult. Put him on the back burner while you try to decide what to do, you owe that much to your marriage and your husband. If it is meant to be, the other man will be there when you finally make a decision.
2007-09-12 06:04:37 · answer #2 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you realize that the grass may be greener on the other side of the fence but it still needs to be mowed?
Grow up. Stop running from YOUR problems. You are selfish and nothing is ever good enough. You always want more from the poor guy.
I feel sorry for your husband. He married a selfish b***h. Get some therapy before you destroy more peoples lives.
Take a really good look at yourself. People are not disposable and replaceable.
2007-09-12 06:18:03 · answer #3 · answered by Tadpoler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure of all the circumstances, but sounds like you have already made up your mind. You aren't giving your husband or your marriage a chance. Marriage is only successful if it is a 2-way street and you are both working to make each other happy. It isn't fair to either of you to remain in a relationship that is doomed to fail. Just remember ... the grass isn't always greener on the other side! This other guy may seem like the answers to your dreams, but you aren't married to him. And you must have seen something in your husband at one time to marry him??!! ......Who is to say that you won't be dissatisfied with this new guy once the new wears off?
2007-09-12 06:05:41 · answer #4 · answered by squidsgirl97 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like you are bored with your hubby, well join the club!
of course the new guy knows how to make you feel good and you enjoy being around him, but guess what, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. you need to sit down and talk to your hubby without mentioning the new guy......let him know that you aren't happy. let him know how you are feeling. tell him that you really do appreciate that he is really trying to be a good hubby. as for the new guy, stay away from him. you can't get into something new when you haven't ended the old. trust me, i was in a similar situation and it is best that you be honest with your husband...good luck.
2007-09-12 06:11:26 · answer #5 · answered by Common_Sense2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to concentrate on your husband and praise his good work and encourage him to keep it up. Be careful with this other man. You probably only see his good side and you need to stop thinking of him in a romantic way. Your husband is trying and you should give him a chance before you make a major mistake. This other guy probably has hang ups too and you just don't see them.
2007-09-12 06:45:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you fall in love with him in the first place. Think of those things. And if he's trying then that means he's open to hear what you have to say. If you have the nerve to see someone else then have the guts to tell your husband the truth.
2007-09-12 06:00:26 · answer #7 · answered by Shel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you just blamed your husband for TRYING TO HARD.....are you kidding me....
you make yourself happy, not your husband, not this other guy...you do, your mind, and whats in your mind goes to your heart, so quit kidding yourself, you are becoming a joke.
you are the problem not your husband....take a look in the mirror, quit being unfaithful with your emotional affair and take your vowels seriously...you are dishonering not only your husband but yourself as well......and yes I am a psychologist.
i hope these harsh words wake you up before you become divorced and alone, because that other guy doesnt want a girl who has been unfaithful b4, even with him...get it!!
2007-09-12 06:09:12 · answer #8 · answered by amayseng 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a child or children with your current husband, you owe it to THEM to give your husband the benefit of the doubt and stay and try to make it work. You complained that he didn't try, and now that he is, you complain that it's too much! PULEASE, you just want a good excuse to leave.
2007-09-12 06:16:06 · answer #9 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being around the other guy. You're confusing yourself. Give the marriage a few months, and if he goes back to his old ways, then leave. My wife always said she'd change, but she never did. I gave her 3 years. I knew it was over when Capt Winkie went soft on her.
2007-09-12 06:03:58 · answer #10 · answered by TXboy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋