ANSWER HONESLTY and please reply?

Question

ok lets say you have a bf who already has a son from a previouse marriage and than you had a son with the same guy ok right i have a question its reagarding christmas a holidays that you buy gifts for would it be fair to spend more money on one son than another the baby will amost be a yr round christmas time and the other son is 7 years older than his baby brother i just want to know if it would be fair to always spend more money on the older son adn not the younger son and if not fair do you think that it is showing favratism toward his older son bc he is his first i dont think that its right to spend different amounts on kids on holidays for one it isnt right and not fair and two you should spend a even amount of money on the kids the same amount like you spen 100.00 than it should be for both what do you all think bc i am caught in a qestion that needs some answering ya know please reply

ok but i know in a way he som waht treats his first son better for instance he was going to the store and i asked him to bu the baby some diapers and he said i dont have any money but yet he jsut gave his son some money to buy a game so there are instances that have happened that make me ask these wuestions it is not being childish ok whats more importnat a game for a 7 yr old or diapers for a baby so please take in to consideration that i want to know tha point of view on things but since pple said i was being childish i will have to put this on there and maybe they will see that i am not in a way

ok good one on the longest one on there that was really a good point think about my child hood well i grew up that way where my step dads daughter got everything she wanted and he treated me and my brother unfair being a father to us never happened and money wise ne thing we needed me n my brother had to get it ourselves with our money adn some of you dont know i have been tru the situation before that is why i ask these qeustions ok so for those f you who never grew up in it dont tell me how to react to it bc my childhood was not that great due to the step dad and his real daughter its not that we was jealouse its that we knew we was beiong treted unfair and i dont want that to happen to my son and i already see it happening ok when i was pregnant my bf he my bf he never bought ne thing for the baby ok i bought everything myself but yet he still bought toys n games for his first and i was struggling ok i told him and its like youi hepled make it and we are together so help me out

i woudl like some help here the baby needs the neccesaties that every baby needs when they are born i had to ask other ppl efor help wich he should have helped me out but foound it more importnant to buy his sona playstation and games and so on and so on yoiur guys arent there for everything that i had to go trough so i see that he treats his son better as to things they need but not as a loving father well maybe you all can see my point now and its not beiong childish ne thing that kid wants he gets but its a problem when it comes to the baby wich it should not be ya know and also that kid is so bad also and he still get away with everything like his dad cannot control him he smarted off to me like 8 times in a week shut up and i can go on and on does his dad do ne thing to him no he dont he lets him smart off to me when ever so i said one day if our son smarts off to you you best not do shi t to him ok i am done venting

oh yeah about the diaper thing i asked him before he gave his son the money to him to buy the game so he wuld not be a indian giver

Answer 1

I can sympathise with your feelings on this subject. You need to have a discussion and maybe a budget planned with things that are a necessity for your family such as diapers and food, bills that need to be paid, rent etc.... When you see how much money you have left you can then divide between you and your husband as spending money. Children don't need every game and toy out there but if your bf wants to spend his spending money on the older child then that is fine and you can then decide if your younger child notices or even needs all this garbage. Kids get too many toys I think sometimes. Talk with your husband and say if he buys something for the older you really wish he would buy something for the younger child as well ( kids don't have the money concept of how much things cost as that age so even something 1/4 of the price would please the child I am sure)

As for Christmas, with my 2 children I don't go by price but by what they want or need and get them the same number of items in similar form. For ex. if I got one a bike I could get the other a basketball hoop or something for outside, or each some clothes. I hope this helps you. People seem to put too much pressure on the money issue when it really comes down to what you truly need and can afford. Kids will appreciate your sacrafices and what you do for them later on in life - the gifts and material items will all be forgotten - it is the home and happiness that you provide that will always be remembered......think back to your child life.....

Answer 2

Well i don't think there would be a problem if your bf spend less for your 1 yr old son. What matters is how the kids will appreciate your gift.Of course, you won't buy a bike for your 1 yr old son, a musical toy or a teether will do better. However, diaper thing is another issue. It's a necessity i guess and should not be taken for granted. I think its about time that you ask yourself about your man...is he a husband to you and a father to your baby or...he's simply a bf....that makes a big difference!!!

Answer 3

I have 2 children of my own, and 2 step children. We all live together. I know exactly how you feel. I try to tell myself that it is not the dollar amount spent that matters when they are that young. My kids love opening gifts, and lots of them. If I get them a new game system, I will wrap a couple of games indiv. For the younger kids, the more the better. If you get them a set of books (Harry Potter) then wrap in groups of two. The older the child gets the more of an understanding about dollar value they know. Explain, to them that even though they got 2 gifts, and their younger brother got 8 the value is the same. It is just that a new Xbox cost 300 and 8 games for Nintendo DS cost 300 also.

Answer 4

Not to be rude, but this would have been much easier to understand if you would have spelled things correctly and used some punctuation!

I think you are focusing too much on the monetary value of the gifts and not enough on if the gift will make the child happy. A gift perfect for a 7 year old may not be in the same price range as one for a year old. It may not be fair, but sometimes life isn't. Besides, I highly doubt the 1 year old will even know the difference.

Please stop being so petty. Don't teach your children to be materialistic by putting so much emphasis on the dollar value. The kids will pick up on this and not appreciate the actual gift.

Answer 5

Honestly, I don't think its the "amount" that you spend on them. My parents didn't always spend the same exact amount of money on all of us, but they asked for a list and got some of the things we wanted. However, if one is a bigger gift, i.e a playstation 3, something that costs a LOT, then that gift and a couple games would've been the only things we had gotten. Since the baby is well, still a baby, you really shouldn't have to spend a whole lot of money on em because it's usually the boxes they want to play with, not the toys lol. I would know, my son did it too. Just use your gut instinct with this one and talk it over with your bf. If he respects your concerns, then y'all should come to a nice agreement on the gift arrangement.

Answer 6

I do agree that if the baby needs diapers, they should come before a game for the other child. He does need to have his priorities in line.

Now as far as Christmas, I could see where it would take a little more money to buy for the older child. They like more expensive things. But there does need to be a boundary line. I do agree to setting one limit for both children though. But I would also remember that the oldest kid does have two families buying for him instead of one like the youngest son. So if the oldest child wants something more expensive, split the cost and stand your ground.

Best of Luck

Answer 7

I agree with you when they are older but right now I think you are being silly. A 1yr old doesn't even have a clue and his "things" are much less expensive then a 7 yr old. I dont think it's favoritism at all, I admire your husband for continuing to be a good father after the divorce. Many times men act like they divorced the kids too. Respect that and know your son has a good father also. You are both blessed, learn to love your stepson as your son and your life will be complete.

Answer 8

So a one year old really needs or cares to get 100 bucks worth of baby toys? Or are you not going to buy the 8 year old a new bike for 100 bucks because you only spent 25 bucks on the 1 year old? The gifts for a 1 year old and an 8 year old are way too different to be comparing monetary value.

I think the bigger issue here is your obession with this.

Answer 9

If all you have to worry about is how much money is spent on the children at christmas, consider yourself very lucky.

Then try to understand a couple of important things--Christmas has nothing to do with money and presents. A 1 year old baby has absolutely no idea what is going on so why worry about how much is spent on him--he will be happy crinkling the wrapping paper.

When you are more worried about money than about hearth, home and family you have sold out more than you know.

Answer 10

OMG. You better get a hold on this right now. You sound like the typical step-mom. You know deep down inside that if that was your 7yr. old you would even blink an eye. I can say this you shouldn't even think about having any more children with this BF. It's just gonna get worse. Don't forget this 7yr. old doesn't have his parents together so his dad might occasionally give him a little extra. You don't know if he has a whole other family giving him stuff not everybody is that fortunate.