Me and my ex fiance are going through a break up right now and some days I wake up knowing I can get through this, then some I wake up really lonely and "yearning" for him.
It's hard being strong for our daughter.
what can I do?
2007-09-12 05:21:12 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm so sorry you're going through this!
I think what you're experiencing is totally normal. This man was a big part of your life and you expected to marry him. That sort of thing just can't be ignored or shut off. You have to go through a grieving process for the relationship, just as you do if someone passes away. This all takes time.
Those lonely days, remember that you CAN get through this and that things happen for a reason.
Good luck!
2007-09-12 05:37:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. I'm really sorry you're going through this, but don't you think it would be weird if you were happy all the time? I mean, you and this man have a child together and planned to marry, so there has to be SOMETHING that you admired about him, and will therefore miss. It will take time to get over this, and it should. So enjoy the good days and try your best to survive the bad ones. Depending on your daughter's age, you can tell her that Mommy is sad sometimes but you will be fine in a few minutes/hours, etc. I wish you well!
2007-09-12 12:25:22 · answer #2 · answered by MarshaMarsha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you have a support network that you can reach out when you are feeling this way, friends, family, whomever you can call or talk to in order to get some positive feedback.
Keep busy with whatever you can, especially manual tasks like gardening, cleaning out closets, etc. The kind of things that basically make you tired. That way you will sleep better at night and wake feeling more refreshed.
Also something I found quite helpful was keeping a journal and releasing my feelings by putting them on paper.
2007-09-12 12:32:44 · answer #3 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem I see is in the way you phrased your question "going through a breakup". You are dwelling on the past. You are living the breakup everyday. Finish it already. Dump him and move on. Focus on the brighter future without all the drama. If you need to, get a lawyer and come up with a custody agreement and be done with it. You daughter knows much more than you suspect. Kids are very perceptive. I am sure she would rather have a happy mommy than a strong one.
2007-09-12 12:26:53 · answer #4 · answered by javelin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This feelings stem out of confusion. Also, when you get used to a certain way, it is hard to adjust to something else. There will be days when you wish he was by your side not because it is the best situation, but because you have become used to his company. The need for companionship is strong for humans. What you need to do is deal with the situation as it is and remember that your daughter will come first before all emotions and all men.
2007-09-12 12:30:08 · answer #5 · answered by SuziChi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what your going through. If you have medical insurance go see a therapist. I seen one once a week and it made all the difference in the world. It's nice to unload and get really good advice from somebody who does this for a living.
They give you building blocks that you can use in when you start feeling a certain way. What might trigger that feeling. If you take the time to do this for yourself I think you will be glad you did.
2007-09-13 13:05:31 · answer #6 · answered by pbxgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i truly feel your pain. my fiance and i broke up 7 weeks ago after i found out he had been cheating on me. there are days where i dont want to get out of bed and the only reason i do is cause i have bills to pay and need to go to work. just focus on your beautiful daughter.we do not have any children together so i cant say to much on that subject. as far as the pain and lonelyness you will feel that but i have been told it will go away with time.i yearn for my x too but then i think about what he did and realize that i dont need that kind of man in my life. try to focus on the positive things in your life.i wish you the best of luck and i am hear if you need to talk.there are good guys out there its just a matter of crossing paths with them.
2007-09-12 12:32:06 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ missing a soldier in Iraq ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im going thru the same thing right now..like this morning i woke up so upset thinking about my ex. What made me feel better was driving into work and listening to my favorite music and singing. Singing is my passion and it really helped me out today.
My friends and family tell me there are going to ups and downs...so cry, scream, get angry ..be hurt and get it out of your system just do not suppress or hold back the feelings. Its rough i know...a person that you thought was going to be yours forever.....Its very sad but have faith that in time you will heal.....
God bless.
2007-09-12 12:32:54 · answer #8 · answered by kakeydec 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reading your question and all the responses makes me feel like i am normal. I woke up this morning feeling like its the end of the world, although i wasnt engaged to my ex, we were on and off for about 9 years and he was my 1st love. He was my best friend on top of being my lover. Every little thing i see reminds me of him and every sad love song makes me feel like i can relate....no doubt its hard and feels like it will nevet get better. Time does truly heal all things....be strong for you and your daughter. I wish you the best and if you ever want to talk you can contact me.
2007-09-12 12:50:42 · answer #9 · answered by alina v 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lots of people feel like that even though they are married.... you need to get a life.... meaning, find an activity or hobbie to look forward to. You see right now you have nothing to take your mind off him....
So until you actually get a life for yourself, you will continue to have troubles... and the best part, is once you get a life, you become more attractive......
2007-09-12 12:56:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋