The heteros don't seem to be making much progress in their attempt to preserve the sancity of their sacred marriages so I'd like to propose new legislation to help them.
1. Heteros who marry will be registered with local police and they will be placed on probation for a period of 7 years. If during that time they do not violate their vows they can be released from probation and can join the ranks of "officially" married.
2. During the probation period Heteros cannot collect any local, state or federal taxes or benefits and they must attend "How To Preserve Our Sancity" work shops and seminars at least 1 hour per week. (In the evening when American Idol is on)
3. If a hetero "officially married " couple wishes to mate and produce little rug rats, they must pass The State Beauty Bar to ensure they are fit, trim and pleasing to the eye, otherwise they will be surgically sterilized.
The above is just a few points of my proposed legislation.
What's your opinion so far?
2007-09-12 05:04:19 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Yes, yes, but I think, as always, it is best to lead by example. Perhaps we should just place a moratorium on Hetero-Marriage for say...5 years. During which time they should attend re-education classes. They might learn how to dress, appreciate the arts, skincare, perhaps grammar and spelling, and of course, social skills.
Once re-educated in the proper fashion they would be permitted to return to society, yet remain unmarried, to complete further educational tutelage. They would be able to experience through first hand observation Gay and Lesbian marriage, what makes it work. What makes it tick, so to speak. If you gather my meaning?
After an appointed observational period these people could be tested to evaluate their ability to comprehend the ideas put before them. If they receive satisfactory marks then, and only then should they be permitted to return to the main pool or heterosexual society. Also, at that point might be a fine time to initiate your ideas, most especially #3, #2 and #1.
:-)
2007-09-12 05:40:13 · answer #1 · answered by Glenn P 4 · 3⤊ 3⤋
I disagree with the third one. You cannot regulate beauty in a group of humans, otherwise you're weeding out the genes that actually makes a human stronger. It's like racehorses. The more pleasing to the eye a horse actually is the weaker the legs are and more prone to breakage. let's not genetically alter ourselves right out of commission here.
I do think though that the Hetero Community do need to have their marriages re-assessed at the end of every year until the five year period, then at the seven, the nine and then at the fifteen. They can join the Officially Sanctioned at 7 however, but must continue to be assessed if either spouse complains of "Roving Eye Syndrome"
Having a 27 year Marriage myself, I consider my qualifications reasonable to make such a statement.
(Oh come on, Folks, it's only a joke....... or is it? Legistatures try to pass things like this all the time.)
2007-09-12 05:24:24 · answer #2 · answered by Mama Otter 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
What a crock of BS!!!
WE have the God-given right to be joined in Holy Matrimony simply by virtue of the fact that one half of the union has a penis - and the other half has a vagina. Period. It's as simple as that!
And anyone else who abides by the same rules will be granted the same entitlement and privileges. That's how nature intended, and that's just how it IS!!!
2007-09-12 07:18:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Interesting
2007-09-12 05:07:43 · answer #4 · answered by DEBBY'S BABY 4 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Wow! How about instead of just spreading even more hatred around by taking snide shots at heterosexuals, we actually try and all get on? Nah...that'd be crazy...
Lose the anger. It ages the skin.
2007-09-12 05:19:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
introduce same sex marriage.
UK introduced Civil partnerships 2 years ago, and this year we've had the lowest divorce rate since 1984.
i think a license to have children would be an idea though, there are too many parents today who lack the parental skills to raise a child, and it's the child that suffers.
after all, isnt the idea of "marriage" proffessed to be to start a family?
.. and family planning should be mandatory.
2007-09-12 05:11:49 · answer #6 · answered by §ilver 5 · 4⤊ 2⤋
I would add another probation period of 10 years to be sure they want to be married to each other so they do not get a quickie divorce after 36 hours. I would also add a requirement that both members of the couple are employed so we do not have them sucking up society's resources
2007-09-12 05:11:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋
I believe the Govt needs stop controlling people's lives. Let every one have their rights to marry, and that's it. If you pass all those laws, you will be going against their right to pursuit of happiness.
2007-09-12 05:17:40 · answer #8 · answered by S I 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
The same proposed legislation should apply to homosexual marriages/unions.
2007-09-12 05:23:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Seems like you're under the impression that we are all assholes trying to keep you from getting married.
2007-09-12 05:08:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋