Is that so wrong? I am going to be getting a divorce and I am afraid that I will be like this. I have alot of love to give and after living with nothing but grief for 17 years I'm ready for the real thing. How can I keep myself from just settling for someone that pays me a little attention?
2007-09-12 04:25:36 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm not looking to date right away. I just want to know how not to go for the first person that shows me a little attention.
2007-09-14 05:18:58 · update #1
Maybe thats what "girls" want but trust me women know better. And experienced woman as yourself know the best.
2007-09-12 04:34:01 · answer #1 · answered by Maria 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't get involved with the first (or second) person you meet.
if you are getting divorced after 17 years, you don't have any business jumping into another relationship right off the bat. Rebounding is very unhealthy...
Take the time to readjust to live, grieve and get over your loss... for most it takes 1-2 years
this doesn't mean you have to live like a monk -- it's ok to socialize with friends, go out and do things, take up a hobby, join a gym or group that interests you.
AFTER your divorce is FINAL, it's also ok to date, but don't commit until you explore your own world, and figure out what kind of person you want. Getting into a relationship soon after you are divorced, isn't fair to you or the other person... because emotionally, you won't have a lot to give for a while.
This is based on my own experience and facts. Check out REBOUND RELATIONSHIPS and also LIFE AFTER DIVORCE by doing a yahoo search. you will find plenty of sound, and sensible advice.
all the best
2007-09-12 11:33:07 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's just a saying. There's another saying: Men don't care about being loved, they want to be ADMIRED. Meaning that if you compliment a man he'll fall all over you. These are both trite sayings. Most people are not that shallow. Don't let yourself fall for the first guy who tells you you are special. You KNOW you are special, you know you have needs. But you also know you need the RIGHT man next time. So take it slowly and be very, very careful.
2007-09-12 11:31:27 · answer #3 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would recommend getting some counseling. You already recognize the fact that you think you MIGHT be emotionally needy....why not find some help to deal with this issue before it becomes a HUGE problem?
There's nothing wrong with wanting attention...its when you'll kill or die for the smallest scrap of recognition that it is a problem.
2007-09-12 11:30:43 · answer #4 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to keep your options open. Of course you don't want to pass up the love of your life, but be selective. Let the new people in your life know what you have been through. The right person should be understanding of your feelings and fears. Good luck!
2007-09-12 11:32:12 · answer #5 · answered by Alli 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I used to be like that, and it is bad because it is a symptom of the lack of love you have for yourself. We are never alone, I am always with myself, you are always with yourself, and when we're "alone", it is the precious time we have with ourselves, to pamper us, to talk to us, to be honest, etc. A person that can't stant to be alone is a person that can't stand to be with himself/herself.
This is also bad because it makes you settle with just about anyone, guys without job, values, plans for the future, etc. and usually leads to dependency, where you even come to realise there is no love, but you can't leave this person because how will you make it through life on your own?
It's better to face this in therapy before you follow a path of mistakes.
2007-09-12 11:45:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
when you are going though a divorce you dont care who it is you just want all the time you can with someone so i guess so
but you dont have to feel in love with just any one you know
i have been thier and done that. but i dont like just anyone who pays me attention sorry
good luck
2007-09-12 11:31:12 · answer #7 · answered by suepooh23 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're already headed down the wrong path if you think you need another relationship before you end this one.
2007-09-12 11:48:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please get some professional help and they will be able to help you through this
2007-09-12 12:00:41 · answer #9 · answered by PrettyAKA 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋