My child is almost 4mth old. I was about to go back to work when he 6wks. He was in ICU after he was born. The doc. recommended for me to wait. Since he is doing much better. The doc. told me he will be fine & I can go back to work. The problem is his father. He not a man of his word. I did my best to work out a schedule with him so we both can take turn to watch the child. When I had feel he didn't want to do this. I told him I will have 1 of my friends to watch him. He told me &my friend will be under the ground. He said this morning at my place. I am thinking about not letting him come over again except to pick/drop the baby off. When he gets off of work he takes the baby to his place. I have to work also to pay my bills also. He isn’t willing to meet me half way. I don't have any family in the area. I feel like I have no other choice but to have a friend watch him. His dad say he don't want nobody to watch him. If I do get someone he might cause harm to me or them.
2007-09-12 04:25:12 · 12 answers · asked by tasha 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
It sounds like you two are not married; in which case you need to go to Court to establish paternity/custody/visitation agreement and child support.
If he has not been on time in the past, likely he will not be on time in the future and go ahead and get a reliable friend to watch the child on the times you have to work and arrange for visitation during times you do not have to work so it will not be an issue.
It would be better if you can make the father realize that it is in the best interest of the baby, having been in ICU, that it although you would love for him to watch the baby, he needs more intentive care that most babies and you need someone better equipped and consistent to handle the baby while you are working, but you would be happy to arrange visitation when you are available in case the father needs your extra assistance (I had to do this with my ex and he felt better about it as to him the baby was basically a lump that cried and was not sure what to do with him).
If the father threatens you, your friend or the baby, file a police report and see about getting a restraining order.
2007-09-12 05:04:46 · answer #1 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Finally Bottleblondemama got to the relevant point.
From the facts presented and your presentation I can assume that you do not have any court order or administrative determination regarding paternity / support / or custody.
If that is the case, File a police report asking for an order of protection and then it's over. This child does NOT have a father (if the assumption above is true) and therefore, you are the ONLY parent.
Biology does not confer legal rights in any of the 50 states to a couple not married at the time of birth. Neither does an acknowledgement of paternity signed at the hospital. The AOP only confers the RIGHT to assert legal rights, nothing more.
2007-09-12 05:12:15 · answer #2 · answered by hexeliebe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So is this territorial behavior on his part? Is he trying to control you? Sounds like it to me.
If you're not married you are still entitled to child support from this guy. Get a lawyer or call free legal aid and file a request with the court for him to pay child support.
Do not believe his promises that he's going to help you. He sounds abusive and abusive men, unless they get professional help, tend to always escalate their abuse. Now he's threatening you----next he may hit you or the baby.
You could file a restraining order against him just on the basis on his statements that he is going to hurt you and your friend. In California, that's enough. I don't know how it is in your state. If you get some dufus judge who doesn't know anything about abusers then you may not get any help from the court so CALL LEGAL AIDE.
Do not let him enter your home or apartment. Take the baby out to his car when he comes to pick him up. That way, if he goes crazy and tries to hurt you he will never be inside your apartment where no one can see what he's doing. ALWAYS meet him in a public place.
He can't tell you who can and cannot watch your child unless that friend has done something harmful to the child.
He is not allowed to control you. That's harrassment and it's against the law.
Please call legal aide and get some help.
2007-09-12 04:58:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not leave your child alone with a person you feel threatened by, even if that is his dad. If you are truly scared of him than you need a restraining order, not a father figure for your son, think of your sons safety. If your truley not threatened by him than If he cant watch the child when you need it than you should find someone else, you need to work and pay your bills so you got to do what you got to do, if you and him are not living together and are not raising the child in the same home than he has no say on who yo have watch the child. and vise versa if the child lived with him and you didn't want someone watching him, just be sure that you are leaving your son with a person that is good with kids, and knows how to care for them.
2007-09-12 04:38:51 · answer #4 · answered by CHUTKA 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Make it clear to the father that this is un-acceptable and you will be seeking legal action if he does not keep to his word. If the threats continue go to police. Also keeping a diary of what he has said can help if the police should need to take the threats any futher.
Hope this helps =).
2007-09-12 04:31:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
bypass to relatives centers, get a criminal expert, any moron that only happens to have the XY chromosomes and threatens women human beings and little ones isn't a guy, he's a spoiled little brat this is pissing himself via fact his play ingredient have been given taken away. He desires to be locked up with a guy named Bubba so he can learn precisely what style of Be'ach he rather is.
2016-12-16 18:09:21 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and the child's father need to go to a family counseling center and get a third, neutral person to act as a mediator in order to bring about a plan that's acceptable to both. The father needs to learn the need for compromise instead of doing the macho mambo. If he won't agree to mediation, then you need to go to a Child Services agency and ask for legal help.
I like other answerers' ideas of keeping a diary of your encounters, and meeting with the father in a public place with witnesses nearby who could corroborate your statements in court if it comes to that.
2007-09-12 04:31:55 · answer #7 · answered by TitoBob 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sound like you have good grounds to shut this thing called a father out of your sons life and it will probably be for the better.
What gets me is why you have a child with this fella in the first place - you sound a little mad!
I suggest forgetting him and move on, probably best to move out of town and make some new, decent friends.
Good luck
2007-09-12 04:30:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Report that schmuck and his threats to the authorities! Id get a restraining order and no dont allow him back at your house! You have every right to have someone watch your child for you while he works!
2007-09-12 04:29:01 · answer #9 · answered by kimberly M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to get his but in gear, otherwise file for full custody.
He should be making payments to you. If he does not want anyone else watching him, then he should cover your bills and rent.
2007-09-12 04:33:45 · answer #10 · answered by Celebrate 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋