honestly i am a mother of 4, but all my life ,my so called husband has never been around seeing the kids growing talking of shouldering his responsibilities as a man . whenever need arises , if i called him for assistance is either he complains about the children school fees is too much or he is saving for their future. do you think the kids might need his savings later or is there something wrong with him. Rightnow i am fed up and i needed somebody but before doing this i need answers from you .Actually i am 41year old mother
2007-09-12 03:51:40 · 10 answers · asked by cheryl k 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why in the world would you then have 4 kids - if he didn't help with the first one you maybe thought the second one would be different - ok - but 4, selfish irresponsibility. There is nothing you can do unless you can afford to raise them yourself. Maybe he is too busy working to support all of you to help.
2007-09-12 03:57:53 · answer #1 · answered by Sirena 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's important to provide for the family and many men can easily do that, but the real challenge is to be a present role model for the children. There are many families like yours and the children grow up with feelings of resentment, loneliness and no father figure - and don't give a crap whether they have a savings or not.
Talk to him and give him an ultimatum because he could ruin your children's life. They need him, even a few quality hours a week means a lot to a child. He needs to understand being a family man is not only about having a career.
2007-09-12 12:00:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are your kids? Are they in school? Perhaps you can get a part-time job earning money to help aleviate his worries of income and savings. Unless you had the full time responsibility of securing the financial future and current financial needs of your family; you have NO IDEA what pressures are on him that cause him to act the way he does.
The key is going to be in understanding HIM and respect for his position. You see how the "me, me, me" he does just sets you on fire (with irritation for lack of understanding in your position) so why do are you reciprocating his "me, me, me" attitude when you know exactly how you feel about his?!
I don't mean to down play your work as a mother (I'm a mom for a long time too with a few kids) I know how "insane" it makes you and how under appreciated and unrespected the job is. I also know what it's like to have the financial pressures of their needs day to day as well as their futures.
2007-09-12 11:01:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand how you had four kids before figuring this guy out.
If he's such a slacker, why'd you marry him or continue to have kids with him?
Now it's your responsibility as their mother to make sure they're taken care of now. Your kids need to be provided a decent life now. They will appreciate that more than a few extra bucks in their future.
Sorry it's harsh, but it is what it is.
2007-09-12 11:11:20 · answer #4 · answered by American Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Saving is ok, but if he is not helping support the family now why worry about their future ...The have to be taken care of now so that they have a great future ahead..He may want to show them love now so that they grow up learning how to show others love..
2007-09-12 10:58:25 · answer #5 · answered by JustGuessing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. It seems that you are certainly in a difficult position, especially if you are relying on him for financial help. You may have to think about taking him to court for some child support.
2007-09-12 11:02:27 · answer #6 · answered by George 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invest in a good lawyer to make sure he does financially what he's supposed to do.
However no matter how hard you try you can't make him a good father.
It's too bad it took 4 children before you realized he wasn't worth your time.
2007-09-12 11:08:37 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can complain all he wants, but the bottom line is this...he created the children and he needs to step up to the plate and pay for them. If he won't, then the courts will!
2007-09-12 10:55:18 · answer #8 · answered by Deb 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He needs to think of the present too.
2007-09-12 10:57:45 · answer #9 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WHY are you still with him?
2007-09-12 11:05:58 · answer #10 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋