What would you do if your husband confessed that he helped a female co-worker get a car because she had problems (credit, financial etc.). If your husband was supportive, loving and took care of you and the household would you divorce him if he had done this with this female co-worker? He did not pull monies from the account you all had but from a small checking account he has.
2007-09-12 03:17:57 · 37 answers · asked by stergre1975 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My title was wrong. I meant to say "what would you do". To answer some of you alls questions, a good guy friend of mine is going through this and his marriage is on the rocks. His wife believes there is more to the story but according to my pal, he was only helping this woman out. He is on the brink of a nervous break down because he is about to loose his wife. As for the woman he co-sign on the car with, she is delinquent in paying the bill so now he has to pay or have a damaged credit report. I agree with most of you and the responses are great. Continue on.
2007-09-12 04:03:49 · update #1
I would leave him...He had no right making that decision without talking to his wife...This is wrong on so many levels, even professional...If i was the wife, the coworker would lose her job before i was done with ever thing...
2007-09-12 03:26:51 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I would be mad that he is taking funds out of MY household for my family and helping a female. I would look at it this way, why is he helping someone of the opposite sex buy something as big as a car. Besides, with the way things are now, you shouldn't buy what you can't afford. She is working and can pay for a car, I'm sure she has family that could help, I'm also sure that there is financing, even if you've had a repo. You just have to pay the price for what you've had gone wrong with your credit in the past. Also, you have to look at it this way, if she doesn't pay, she has not only taken money away from your household, but has ruined your husband credit for future things, like buying a house (or a better one).
To be totally honest, he should discuss this with his wife, I mean this is pretty big. I would probably be more hurt over him not talking to me about it, than doing it.
2007-09-12 03:30:55 · answer #2 · answered by Beatngu 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, the number one question that comes to my mind is.
Did he confront his wife before he did it?
If the answer is not than it is understandable why the wife is upset. Especially when it comes to other females. Men have to start understanding that when you do a big thing like this females will than ask themselves WHY and WHY didn't I know about this. And WHAT kind of relationship do these two have for him to do something so big.
As long as the husband confronts his wife before he makes a move like this, there is no problem if the wife says it's OK with her. If he didn't than the wife has all right to be upset, but to consider divorce shouldn't be coming into play unless the husband and the other female appear to have a relationship with other things involved than just the car.
2007-09-12 03:28:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If my husband was a good person and we had an overall good relationship, then I may not go as far as divorce but I would wonder why he felt the need to help a female co-worker. I would also wonder was there anything romantic going on with them because helping someone get a car is nothing minor.
2007-09-12 03:26:37 · answer #4 · answered by Shay 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Firstly i would want to know why it wasn't discussed before hand........ That is not a decision that should have been made by a husband or wife alone.
Secondly, it would raise some suspicion as to why he did it and without first discussing it. Men tend to buy things for other women when they're sleeping with them.
My biggest issue would be that it was not discussed with me and i was given no chance to have an input into the situation.I would not be happy.
It would not be divorce however there would be a lot of explaining and proving going on.
Chi Chi x.
2007-09-12 03:39:11 · answer #5 · answered by Chi Chi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is serious. Divorce ummm, maybe once I find out what is really going on or went on with him and this woman. He made a serious and bad move regardless of him taking care of home. There are women out there that doesn't mind breaking up a home and who knows, she may use this against him to break up the marriage. Not sure, if I would divorce him (yet) but it would be considered. If he confess about something like this, then what else would he do.
2007-09-12 03:51:05 · answer #6 · answered by Who me? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to be w/ this guy... a lady we worked w/ bought him tires for his car... later on, I found out she slept w/ him... =(... many times...and she was married, too! all this happened while he was supposed to have been faithful to me =(... he should have told you first, telling you later makes him look suspicious... forsaking all others is the vow, and he broke that vow, even if it was about money... I'd be furious!!! and I would go to his work and talk to people and find out the whole truth...! and I would talk to her... =(... hiding it is the same as lying, what else is he lying about? I won't even let any man use my phone or help any man out in anyway... I won't give my husband reason to even wonder how I feel about him and our marraige... ps...I just read what you added about her not making the payments... obviously her friends and family know she don't pay her bills...and he should have suspected her being like this... he was niave in helping her out... so what if it messes up his credit, he needs to let this car get re poed so this woman learns a lesson! and that's that... =) that, or take the car from this lady... he has that right if he is going to pay for the rest of the car =)
2007-09-12 04:23:05 · answer #7 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be very concerned as to why he would go to such great lengths to help a 'female' co-worker. I would be suspicious that there was more to the relationship than just a fellow employee.
I wouldn't think this was grounds for divorce, but definitely I would be suspicious of his intentions and motives. I would be inclined to mistrust his intent.
I think you should have a talk and be honest with each other about this and your relationship. Something smells fishy to me.
2007-09-12 03:28:02 · answer #8 · answered by vixen312 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can't say that I would divorce him...but I would be extremely upset. Had he spoken to me before hand and gotten my opinion it would be a different story.
Did he cosign for her? Did he just loan her money? Is she making payments to pay him back or was it a gift? All of those would go into a final decision...and I'd also keep a good eye on my husband as I would question their true relationship.
2007-09-12 03:41:25 · answer #9 · answered by Tina 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My thoughts:
You are married, you are supposed to have a life together with your wife. So why did you need to hide it from her? If you hide something from your wife it is d.am.n natural that she will think you are cheating on her. And if she will not let you to buy such an expensive things to other people (does not matter man or woman) it is her right to say that. I am sorry but this is something which a selfish person to do.
According to my thoughts yes I would get mad.
2007-09-12 03:34:19 · answer #10 · answered by Ardelia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be very upset because that is a major decision that he made without consulting it with me. It doesn't matter on what account it was it was still money that belongs to the family. I would also be very suspicious about it, but I'm not sure if I would ask for a divorce right there and then.
2007-09-12 03:26:00 · answer #11 · answered by why ask 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋