he came to me last night saying that i do too much and i need to focus on being a kid. i don't think i do to much. i help out where i am neeed. my mom passed away last year and since then, i've picked up where she has left off since my dad works full time. i'm the oldest child and have quite a few younger siblings. i wake up a 6, help get the younger kids ready for school while my dad fixes breakfast. then i take them to the bus stop while my dad gets the baby's ready for day care. after he leaves with the kids, i do my 3 hours of homeschool work, after that i help the other older kids with theirs. then i just do whatever (mostly laundry, it's never ending pile), or play guitar, kake care of my cousin, get on the computer, until the kids get back from school. then i make sure their homework and chores get done, until it's time to make dinner. when it's time for my soccer, dance/theatre/singing, or band practice. i'm fine, but he's all "you're doing to much, i'll hire someone". help!!!
2007-09-12 02:46:36 · 11 answers · asked by ...... 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
kids under 3 go to daycare, elementary kids got to public school, middle/high school are homeschooled (it's a curriculum that's based on self-study, he helps us when he gets home if we need it).
2007-09-12 03:02:40 · update #1
i have a lot of extra-curriculum stuff. soccer, my band, dance class, singing/theatre. and i kick it with my friends every weekend.
2007-09-12 03:04:43 · update #2
OMG he loves you- and he see's his daughter not enjoying her life like most girls your age, he doesn't want to deprive you from your own enjoyment.
You have a GREAT dad young lady, I would hug him and if you really don't mind doing what you do, you tell him how much you enjoy doing what you do, cannot imagine doing anything else, and taking that away would be taking part of who you are away, and part of your mother- possibly helping helps you feel all that much more closer to your mother in spirit- explain this, he will understand. God I wish I could hug you both- you are both such wonderful people to look out for one another, love one another like this- not many families do- I am 40 and my family is far from supportive and loving. Hold on to what you have, count your blessings- and know mom is there with you and so proud too! My condolences to you and dad and family- but you hold on to her spirit, and do what you feel in your heart- always listen to your heart.
Many big bear hugs and tears - am proud of you and dad too!
2007-09-12 02:57:47 · answer #1 · answered by brandy2007 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You sound like an amazing young woman and your father should be immensely proud of you. You never mention your age, but you already seem mature beyond your years. I'm sure your father is proud of you and grateful to have so much help around the house, but he probably feels guilty too. Guilty that you have been unneccessarily burdened with the caring of your younger siblings and not granted the normal teenage life. Maybe every so often, concede to letting him hire a babysitter for the day so you can relax. You do deserve some off time aside from the weekends. Other than that, just reassure him that you're fine with the way things are. You enjoy helping out around the house and it's preparing you immensely for taking care of yours and becoming an independant young woman in the future. Maybe see if you can take a college class or two at a local community college to prove to him that you're actively thinking about your future. Even at 22, I can't believe doing what you're doing right now. I grumble and whine when I'm forced to get up at 7 to get ready for work! You sound like an absolutely amazing young woman though! Good luck!
2016-05-17 21:28:05 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you and your siblings home schooled, or going to school? You should not be homeschooling yourself or your siblings. And I agree with your dad. You are doing too much and he needs to hire someone to do some of it. It is wonderful that you help out with the siblings since your mom passed away, and you shouldn't stop doing that. But you are a kid and you don't have to be the grown up yet. You need to find at least one extra curricular activity that you do just for fun. And you need to spend some time hanging out with your friends. I don't think you should stop helping out entirely, but try to set aside at least one day a week where you put yourself first for a change.
2007-09-12 03:00:22 · answer #3 · answered by kat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so very sorry to hear that your Mom passed away, leaving such a young family. I really admire you for all you are doing - it's an achievement many older, married women would not be able to cope with! so well done. Your father must be very proud of you and your siblings will always remember what you have done for them. Having said that, I do agree with your father's concerns that so much is now on your shoulders. You may be very driven as a coping mechanism in dealing with your mother's death (this happened to me when my sister died). There's nothing wrong with that but sooner or later, you will be glad for some help so if this is what your father wants, you should consider it ~ or tell him that you will consider it at a later stage perhaps. [Your mother must be so proud of you].
2007-09-12 09:11:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about your mother. Sounds like your dad really loves you. And it sounds like your dad is probably right. You'll never be able to get these years back. Being a kid is really important. Maybe you should let him hire someone to do just the house cleaning. You could still help with the other kids. It sounds like that's what's really important to you anyway. I don't think that hiring someone to help around the house with the cleaning is going to hurt anyone.
Doing all this now could really make you old before your time, you really should have "You time". Taking care of your sibling is really great, and it sounds like you do a really great job of it. But, it never hurts to admit that you need a little help.
2007-09-12 03:03:26 · answer #5 · answered by cotoncandy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's right you need to focus on being a kid, you are doing a great job and he is obviously very very proud of you.. I am proud of you and dont even know you.... If wants to hire someone let him, he is the grown up and you are the kid. But still help out where needed. Let who ever he hires to do the house work, cooking, cleaning, laundry you know. And you still help the little ones out and do your stuff.
2007-09-12 06:42:31 · answer #6 · answered by chrissy m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him hire someone, then you can spend a little down time, and some quality time with him as well. I know it's easy to assume the roll of you Mom, but that will not benefit you in your future realationships. Condolenses on your families loss and best of luck.
2007-09-12 02:59:14 · answer #7 · answered by Gayle L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! You are a great person! I am humbled by your caring and kind nature. You should tell your dad if you feel that things are getting out of hand and you feel you cannot handle things.
Wow again you are a modern day hero!
2007-09-12 06:51:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are a saint!! but maybe if you dad has someone help 1 or 2 days a week you can do other things away from home you do more then enough already
your mom is very proud i'm sure!!!
2007-09-12 06:23:46 · answer #9 · answered by carla k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The word is "LOVE", you're father loves you and may be worried that you are not enjoying your youth. All you have to do is to let him know that you are okay, what you are is how your parents raised you. Don't forget to thank your father for asking.
2007-09-15 20:49:13 · answer #10 · answered by madonna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋