Am I an uptight complaining wife that needs to learn how to loosen up, or would this irritate you too?

Question

My husband likes to “play” but he goes overboard. He’ll hide from me and when I look for him he’ll jump from behind something and scare me. He likes to laugh at my reaction. But the other day we were going to go out to eat and I was waiting on him to get ready. I waited 5-10 mins. and called his name. He never answered. Sure enough he was hiding and 30 mins. later he came in the room and said I was no fun. At what point do you decide “she doesn’t want to play”. When we’re at the restaurant sometimes he’ll grab my silverware or my glass and I have to get irritated in order for him to give it back. We both chase each other through the house or try to scare each other at times, but he goes way too far and doesn’t know when to stop. Also, he is a quiet person overall but sometimes he is so long-winded. It’ll take him 20 mins. to say something that should have taken 5 mins. I have gotten to the point to where I finish the sentence for him because I want him to hurry and get done.

I know, that’s rude, and I am very impatient. I have had to apologize several times. He is an only child and a “country” boy and I think that has a lot to do with the way he acts. His mother still refers to him as her baby and he’s 29. His parents are older (62 and 67) and I swear that’s how my husband acts at times. Everywhere we go he has to narrate while we’re in the car. What I mean by that is “I remember my cousin used to work there”, “that’s where we used to go when I was in highschool” or “when I was a kid we’d take that road to get to ___. That road winds all the way back to ___ and then back to ___”. That’s everywhere we go. Every town, building or street has a story behind it. Also, he and his parents get excited to visit local grocery stores/markets in different towns that they used to go to when he was a kid. Things are so different now but they can’t let go of the past. Am I a complainer or would you be irritated too?

I love my husband to death but sometimes he does the most annoying things. A lot of people tell me I'm too serious and I agree, but all that playing drives me nuts sometimes.

We've been married for 3 years and have no kids.

Answer 1

Instead of getting irritated when he grabs your silverware, don't react. He is looking for your reaction. He craves it. Instead, call the wait staff over and ask for another glass of water and ignore him completely when he does this. If he hides, leave without him. He'll call shortly to find out where you are. Once you've left him 2 or 3 times he'll get the picture.
The finishing sentences is inconsiderate of you. Learn patience because impatience is not attractive on anyone, not even you. Listen to his stories. Think about it, if he were in a bad accident tomorrow and passed on, how would you feel about having complained that he talks to you in the car? If you don't want to hear a narrative then find a subject the both of you can talk about instead.

Answer 2

It sounds like all the things you found endearing in the beginning have become thorns in your side. As far as the hiding. It would irritate me if I was trying to get ready to leave and then had to spend 30 trying to find him so we could go. Same as the silverware and glass thing. He sounds childish in that respect, but as far as reminiscing about his past, to me you should just let him talk. he is trying to share his life with you and what he used to do. My husband will do the same thing and I do too on occasion. I see nothing wrong with wanting to go back to the old spots once in a while to relive the past and to see how they have changed.
So I guess it's a little of both. You need to lighten up with his stories and just let him talk, but he needs to settle down when you have somewhere to go, or you're out in public.
My husband was like yours in the play area too. he would get irritated when I became irritated. So we came to an agreement. When I say stop, then stop. I'm not against playing, but sometimes I've had enough, or I'm tired or whatever. I don't want to get irritated any more than he wants to irritate me. (his thing was tickling though, not hiding) So from now on when he tickles me, I will play along for a while, but when i say OK, I'm done, he stops. It's just about respect. i respect that he wants to play, but he also has to respect when I want to stop. We get into less stupid spats now.

Answer 3

Your just an uptight complainer. You must have had a sad childhood. He is remembering the good times he had as a child. Good memories. He is also still a kid at heart. He may live to be over a hundred, that is unless of course you burst his bubble, which you probably will. You may be considered one of those 'B' women.

Answer 4

i think those things would drive me nuts after awhile. how long have you been together? every little thing making you crazy is not a good sign. 30 minutes for a grown up to play hide and seek would piss me off. sounds like he's a fun guy who just needs to find some balance. good luck!

Answer 5

Sounds approximately perfect, yet be conscious even in what she capacity, she's nevertheless not asserting something particular and the guy continues to be meant to wager at what's going on. it incredibly is a catch for him to be at her mercy the two way.

Answer 6

wy-wy-wy!! Let you go lady, you sound like strung out,unhappy,7th grade teacher!! I got no positve nouns/verbs in your complaint, ju st wy-wy-wy. Why are you with this man, maybe he's over compasateing for your lack of personality!! OH YEA, last thing, I'mm 55 yrs old & I was my mothers BABY. You need to get over yourself!!!!

Answer 7

I think you need to loosen up. I bet if you went a long with sometimes you would cheer out. Overall he sounds like a fun guy that likes to interact with you.

Answer 8

I wouldn't mind listening to him talk about his past, but, the practical jokes would really bug me.

Answer 9

I think your husband needs to grow up a little and you need losen up a little.

Answer 10

I would be irritated too. It seems like he doesn't know when "enough is enough". He sounds like a spoiled brat.