My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years... he broke up with me for another girl two weeks ago... just a few days after we broke up he begged for me to get back to him but i was too hurt to reply... and days later he started dating the girl officially...
however, he keeps calling and sending me messages which i am not taking eversince we broke up... 2 days ago he asked if we could meet for the last time... but i said no...
i honestly still have a lot of questions and have a lot of things to say.... but i still have strong feelings for him... and i dont want things to get out of hand in case we talk... especially that he is officially with a girl...
what do you think could be his motive to talk to me?
what do you think? any inputs would help... please....
2007-09-12 02:05:13 · 14 answers · asked by terra 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
if u do decode to meet him it won't bring the closure u seek, because closure is really just a hunt for a false promise that things will return to normal . closure only works when we get the outcome we expect. closure can only come when we accept reality, and let go of what u once had. your not there yet, and should avoid him completely because right now your very vulnerable and still in love. his motive is to keep u hanging on, keep u interested just in case it doesn't work out with the new one. questions will not make u happy they will hurt u especially if he lays all of the blame onto u for the split. avoid this man and move on with life, u don't need to ask him questions its pretty evident what he did to u just because he wanted someone else.
2007-09-12 07:00:51 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are right to be strong. He has hurt you, left you for another, and I'd be suspicious about how quickly he found another girlfriend.
In any case, I see no merit in meeting with him. Don't take his calls, don't take his text messages. Just move on with your life. I honestly don't believe that a closure talk would help. What if he tells you something mean that makes you paranoid about who you are as a person? What if the closure talk just opens up a whole can of worms you weren't expecting?
To me there are too many things that can go wrong with a meeting. It's not like you'd be stupid enough to take him back, so like I said, move on.
2007-09-12 02:10:14 · answer #2 · answered by ZCT 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was reading what you wrote, and what I think of this is, your ex. is still in Love with you, because why would he be insistent in seeing you and talking to you. Maybe when he broke up with you, he realized what he had lost, and he tried to make amends, with you so, you would give him another chance to be with you, again, so, I definitely think you should set your hurt to the side and have that talk he has been wanting to have with you. Remember, everything is fair in Love and War, so, if you still have some feelings for him, then, give him a chance to see if you two, can talk it out and see if you both have a future together. This is my answer to you. Now you do not mention if you both were living together, or were just Girl/Boyfriends, when a couple, are going together for that many years there is always the chance that he, or her, might want to find out if what he/she really feels is really Love, or it is just the custom in having each other around. I think your boyfriend found out that you were as I tell my Grandson, the one and only, for him and he realized that mistake he made and wants to try and convince you of that. if I were you I would not let another Girl have him, since he was mine to begin with, do not let your pride get in the way of your happiness, I am sure that he must be feeling bad for what he did, and he wants to come back to you,so, if once there was Love between both of you, then do it. This a Lady that is 65 years young, I am not going to add the other word, because I feel young at heart, and I have been Married for 49 years, and planning our 50th. next year, did I have it easy with my Husband when we were going around? No, because he had that charisma, and the girls were always after him, but we perserveered, and we got Married in 1958, and I have not regretted it for a minute.
2007-09-12 02:38:51 · answer #3 · answered by a.vasquez7413@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry I know this is a hard situation but the way he has done you is just not right. He is trying to have his cake and eat it too. If a closure talk is going to make you feel better then do it...but don't do it for him. There is a reason he wants to speak with you so badly...but whatever it may be please do not fall for it...for him to just move on like that after being with you for 5 yrs is just wrong...and to still try to keep you lingering around...its not fair...be strong!
2007-09-12 02:10:38 · answer #4 · answered by Jamie G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont care how long people have been together or why the breakup...The answers they seek with the "closure talk" they will not get...Its better if its over to move on, no need for words, words will not change things...The end result is the same...If he calls all you have to say is enough said, you have a new girlfriend and i dont think she would appreciate knowing your talk ng to your ex....
2007-09-12 02:23:02 · answer #5 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really need closure right now? I think you need to nurse your wounds..... but hey what do I know? Do what feels right.
I don't think I've ever had the closure talk with anyone. It was either meant to be or it wasn't. I got over it. They must have gotten over me too. It seems like he's a game player and doesn't know what he wants right now. Give him time. Keep ignoring him. That's what I would do....but you be the judge.
In either case, I'd say the relationship seems over...
-T
2007-09-12 02:12:17 · answer #6 · answered by sweetypie9 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If anyone needed the closure talk it would have been you. If you don't need a answer why, then cut him off. Men seem to do this a lot. I feel for you I have been through it too.
2007-09-12 02:13:54 · answer #7 · answered by FoxyEva25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ppl make mistakes. maybe he realizes his mistake wants to say sorry and see if he can work things out with you. he has a right to be heard, and you have a right to ask any and each question that you need to be answered. if you ever meant anything to each other, which seems like it, you dont have to give him a reply right away. but just talk. it wont kill you to talk to him. & you dont have to blow up at each other to talk. what? you are going to waste "5" years. that is a long time to be with someone, and just stand on the side and pout about it, and ask do i met with him. of course. see what he has to say. if he keeps calling, sending messages there is a reason for that. could be guilt, could be asking for another chance, he could be merely telling you he knows he made a mistake and wants forgiveness if you allow it. i simply think he wants to tell you how much he loves you. hear him. you have a lot of questions and alot of things to say. say them, and ask each and every one of them. you still have strong feelings for him then TELL HIM, dont state it on a yahoo answers board. tell him!!!! things wont get out of hand. if anything, you both will cry and say sorry and that you want to patch things up. you werent scared to fall in love with him. so dont be scared to talk to him. and this official girl he has ~ wtf is official of someone he doesnt love, and can bang til he is satisfied? huh? no substance, no concrete value. you were the one in a relationship. you were the one who had a history with him. stop the pitty party, talk to him. you still love him, tell him. if he is the one for you and he for you you know it and you dont even have to ask or think about it. dont be silly and lose him because you are hurt to reply. believe me, you havent seen hurt and you dont know what hurt is. i pray you never see it, i have and it isnt pretty in the least. if he means anything to you or has ever meant anything to you, work thru this bump in the road. repair it if it takes time to repair. forget the motives and stop asking why this why that? dont you see he is trying to reach out at you? reach back to him. you even said you still have feelings for him. so show him that you do. dont let him slip away so easy. if he does you will regret it forever.
2007-09-12 02:26:17 · answer #8 · answered by N3W M3!! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Five years is a good long time, so if he made just one mistake looking for greener pastures, and acts sincere about wanting to come back to you, give him one more chance, please.
Relieve a little suffering in the world, it is only fair...
Five years! It must have been good for something.
Don't squander it just to feed your pride.
2007-09-12 02:15:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When it's over, it's over. Let it go. I think he may realise he made a mistake and wants you back... But you're too good for that... Get on with your life and tell him to stop contacting you and harassing you!
2007-09-12 02:11:11 · answer #10 · answered by The ReDesign Diva 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋